Post # 1
How do you ladies deal with unsolicited advice on your pregnancy and child rearing?
This is in the case of not wanting the advice (as some advice is actually pretty good for a new mom to be like me)
Also, please just advice on how to civilly deal with it, I need to know how to deal with people who I will have to deal with more than once. Strangers I find are easier to shut up! 🙂
Post # 3
I’ve just smiled and nodded and said thanks for the info. If I’m sick of hearing about it, I’ll just say “excuse me, I’ve got to do xyz right now” or I just tell them I have to pee :).
People are always going to give advice whether you want them to or not. You can either tell them that you appreciate their advice but you want to find xyz out on your own, or you can just smile and nod. I found the second to be less offensive to people.
Now, I did tell my Mother-In-Law today that I don’t want any opinions on the nursery when they come over to see it. It’s not done and I have furniture still coming in, so nothing is in it’s ‘proper’ place yet. I don’t think she liked that response, but I am so over hearing crap.
Post # 4
I kindly remind them that it’s my baby-not theirs, but thanks for the opinion. Haven’t had much to deal with yet as we haven’t been super open about the pregnancy yet (only 8 weeks) but already had to remind a few people. A lot of people genuinely want to help so I feel bad shutting them up point blank. :/ Usually the excuse of going to the bathroom or feeling morning sickness coming back shuts everyone up. lol.
Post # 5
Ya, I just say “That’s great to know! Thanks!” and then change the topic or move along somehow. My mom has bombarded me the odd time with the same bit of advice over and over and over and I eventually kind of snapped and told her that I didn’t agree and she was going to have to let it go. I felt sort of bad, but man, drop it! LOL!
Post # 6
Get used to it. As long as there have been pregnancies and babies, there has been unsolicited advice. Like the PP said, give a smile and say “Good to know” and let it roll right off your back. I learned a LONG time ago the value of nodding my head, smiling, then doing whatever the hell I want.
Post # 7
The phrase I use to shut people up in most areas of my life: “You might be right.”
Post # 9
@HeMadeMeWantTo: I’m totally going to make a onesie with this on it. Think people will get offended? lol
Post # 10
for me it’s not really the advice I had issues with, it’s mostly the “assumptions” from my mother.
When she asked me out of the blue one day if I would Boyfriend or Best Friend and I said “yes, as long as I don’t have trouble with it” (knowing full well that even with the best intentions things don’t always go as planned) and she responded with “oh well!! that won’t happen to you!!” and just carried on.
I just kind of turned the other direction and started cleaning off the counter! I could’ve gone into a whole rant on friends I have that wanted desperately to Boyfriend or Best Friend but just couldnt and how it sometimes happens but it would have been pointless. So I just nodded and carried on…
Post # 11
It all depends on what kind of mood I am in. Sometimes I listen to them and then do what I want or sometimes I can snap. I guess it all depends on the person too. I’ve snapped at quite a bit of people before. I get annoyed that they try and tell me how to deal with my kid. I have a mouth, if I have questions I’ll ask. *Sigh*
Post # 12
I don’t have kids, but once I was with my 4 year old nephew (who is one of those kids who just won’t ever eat much, unless it’s bad for him like sweets) and as a treat I’d promised him we could go to Mcdonald’s to play on the little playground but he had to eat a little first. So I was picking up the apple pieces, breaking them, and giving them to him when he started just eating them out of my hand.
Cute, right? I mean, he’s my nephew, not my own kid, so I like spoiling him a little. This elderly lady came up to us and snapped, “Don’t you think he’s too old for you to be feeding him”? I think I just looked at her in stunned silence.
So I get it. Parents put up with a lot of crap. I am POSITIVE that had my husband been there, and had been feeding ME, an adult woman….that the old lady wouldn’t have said a thing.
Post # 13
@BoiledPNut: Make it! I wish I would have thought of making one when my babies were little. Do a freezer paper stencil, it’s so easy!!
Post # 14
@HeMadeMeWantTo: Oh, I have a screen printing thing! I’m going to make it tomorrow. I’ll post a picture. DH rolled his eyes when I showed him the onesie, but oh well. Baby is definitely wearing it when his mom is around! 😉
Post # 15
@BoiledPNut: haha! Awesome!!
Post # 16
Ugh! I hate unsolicited advice!
I always used to say “We’ve discussed it” “We’ve got it covered” “I’ll look into that for myself, thanks”
Ex: Are you going to vaccinate? You really should/ shouldnt. “We’ve discussed it, we’ve got it covered.