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My FI got that from people - mostly stupid wedding planning advice, like "don't say anything, your opinion doesn't count, just show up, you're a prop." It's totally annoying.
Creepy. He is obviously miserable or making his wife miserable and is one of the mid-life crisisers whining about his "good old days" as a bachelor all the time. A. Dime. A. Dozen. Pay no mind.
Oh yes! People tell me to slow down and be young and enjoy life.. have my fun now... my future husband is my life and best friend.. i have my fun with him. Why do they all seem to think they know better. Just because they are miserable dont try to make my marriage seem like it will be that way too. Ive had my "crazy nights" now im crazy in love. Ignore them :)
LAME. Thank goodness, I haven't got that. The only wedding advice I got was from my mom: to get fancier shoes. ;) Mr. Spaniel gets a lot of the whole "Two words: 'Yes, Dear'", but neither of us take it very seriously.
Yes.
For the last 2 months or so, I have had random people saying to me "You know, you still have time to back out" or "it's not too late!".
There is one guy in my office who ALWAYS makes comments like that, in a half-joking manner of course, and he even threatened to wear a black armband to my wedding in opposition of the arrangement LOL. I know he won't really wear it, but seriously, he is definately not an advocate for marriage.
I don't let it bother me though, I laugh it off.
They are the ones missing out after all.
OMG! Yes. Some older gentleman on the train yesterday tried to give me advise, and insinuate that if I needed a one-night-stand before the wedding, he would willingly provide it for me.
I was like, are you serious? I got off at the next stop and waited for the next train to come, I couldn't believe it! He just saw my e-ring and started talking about marriage and what are "must-do's" before you get married!
@arizonabride - He's totally one of those "good old days" guys. He proceeded in the same conversation to tell me about how he used to wake up with a different stranger every night among empty whiskey bottles and packs of cigarettes. I'm like DUDE, (a) I barely know you and (b) you think you sound cool and badass but you sound PATHETIC.
@Jizes318 - AMEN on having had the "crazy nights" already! So over it.
@ebd just show up your a prob that's so freakin funny.
People offer unsolicited advice about everything all the time, unfortunatly marriage is high on that list of things that brings out the crazy in people.
Just roll with it, ignore him he's not worth your time, and tell him you'd prefer not to get a disease before marrying the love of your life.
Ugh, I know what you mean! I hate hate hate when people make remarks like that. Like marriage is the end of your life!
Last family get together my FI and I were eating dinner with my cousins and I had one cousin who told me, "You know a lot of people will say a bunch of crappy things to you about how bad marriage is. Well I just want to tell you, marriage can be wonderful, and I absolutely love it", that coming from a man too!
Well my FI and I was very happy to hear some positive reinforcement about marriage.
That guy was rude. I hate people that offer "you know what you oughta do..." advice. I get it too - it's like people think because I'm an encore, my wedding/relationship/plans/etc. should all be an open book. I want to tell people to mind their own all.the.time!
One time I got a really disheartening comment about marriage in general. I am a student nurse just finishing up my program. I did a homecare rotation and was working with another RN, who was probably around 40. On our lunch break, I went into a store and bought a card for my FI because he was having a hard time at work lately, and I wanted to let him know I was thinking of him and supported him. Me met up to go visit a client, and she commented "oh, who is the card for?". I said "I just got it for my FI becuase he has been having a hard time at his job lately". She scoffed at it and said "Well, don't expect your love to be perfect forever (and my personal favorite inserted here) WAIT UNTIL YOU HAVE KIDS". Listen, I am not an idiot. In fact, FI and I have been together for 6 years, so its not like I just met this guy and I am all starry eyed. We've been thorugh thick and thin. I am looking forward to many more years with him, kids or no kids. I think you get as much out of a marriage as you put into it. I just try to let negative comments slide - I am happy with what I have, even if other's aren't!
Ugh, we got so much "advice" right before our wedding. I honestly think most people think of it as a right-of-passage type of thing, so try not to take it too seriously. I'll add in a few of my favorites just for fun, but really most of that kind of "advice" is so ridiculous, it's best to just laugh it off.
bored with one penis lol!! gosh i guess since i'm older i betcha we won't get those comments M is a no nonsense type of guy and the look on his face if someone says anything like that wow... not a good look..
I think men think it's funny to say stuff like this. I got to the point where I probably could have helped it but no longer felt like containing an eye roll. When everyone has the exact same jokes about how marriage sucks.
It's really uncomfortable when these people are your bosses and it's a somewhat new job and what comes out of your mouth is 'that's original' and an eyeroll - whoops!
I don't understand why it is so common and acceptable (at least in their minds) for married men to talk so disparagingly about marriage. Mr. Bee, are you out there? Can you explain this phenomenon to me because I just don't understand the male psyche sometimes.
My personal favorite - the people who see an e-ring and then start telling as many divorce stories as they know. WTH. Seriously. Do you think FI and I really need to hear it? My background is Sociology/Psychology, yes, I know the divorce rate is up over 50% right now... but do I need a reminder? Jeez. People. Give. Me. A. Break.
Bella
blech. Sounds annoying and I'm glad you said what you did to him. I agree with you, I don't get why some men think it's ok or funny to talk this way about marriage.
About the divorce rate thing - I know and I HATE that. I've heard that once or twice and I just want to grab people by the shoulders and shake them and be like WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? That's like a couple walking around with a newborn and someone giving them Autism statistics.
Mrs. Spring that's hysterical! The best one we got (and we were at a WAKE mind you) - was from a friend of the family.
Her 1st jewel of advice? "Spend as little time together as possible" - yeah, great idea lady.
Her 2nd? "Fix the sex and the money right up front. That's what causes the most problems." - although I have to admit, this one actually makes sense it was just awkward coming from her.
That's so ridiculous. I hate when people make assumptions about me and my relationship with my husband. Luckily we haven't gotten too much unsolicited advice, b/c I can see myself flying off the handle if someone tried to talk to me like that!
I kind of have this weird thing where I hate saying mushy stuff about the Dude to people because I'm embarrassed by it and afraid that others will find it annoying, so I overcompensate by exaggerating complaints about him, like how he doesn't pick up his socks or how he's a packrat, etc. But my mom has said a couple of times that I shouldn't be so mean! It kind of made me rethink how I talk about him--even though *I* know how much I love him, maybe to her it sounded like I'm always bashing him? Sorry, that was kind of a tangent, haha!
Good for you for being a little bitchy! I really don't know why people think their opinion is always welcome. Did someone come and rain on their parade while they were revelling in engagement bliss, or are they just inherently mean?
@Mrs. Spring - "bored with one penis"? WTF? That is ridiculous. I'm SMH at all of these comments. I didn't get these comments the first time around and this final time around, no one really knows I'm getting married yet; but I doubt anyone would say these things to me. I have one of those, "don't f*&% with me" looks. The one thing law school taught me. LOL!!!
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Ugh. I'm so irritated. There is this man in my office building (not in my company, thank god) who is one of those older guys who is married but likes to talk down about marriage and was a bachelor for a long time - you know the type. So anyway he comes over to me and goes "SO you married yet?" And I said No not until next year. And then he goes "Oh so you've still got time to go crazy?" I said, "What do you mean by that exactly?" He says, "Let me give you some marriage advice..." And whenever anyone says that my skin crawls immediately and I'm like STFU I didn't ask you for advice. Then he procedes to tell me how I have to go out and have crazy drunken weekend with my girlfriends and all this bulls**t. This is not the first time this guy has tried to "tell me how it is" about marriage and give me terrible stupid advice so this time I basically was over it and I said, "You know, if I wanted your advice about marriage, I'd ask for it" and I walked away. Kind of bitchy, yes, but I wanted to say worse things.
Do you guys get this kind of unsolicited crap "advice" from people? Men especially I feel like to talk about marriage negatively and throw their two cents in when they aren't needed or wanted.