- 5 years ago
- Wedding: January 2014
Sorry this is kinda long, I’m having such a hard time with my wedding and family issues and just need some advice.
My family–namely my mother–isn’t really excited about my wedding. My mother created a lot of drama when my fiance and I got together because he isn’t a lot of the things she wanted for me. But he is an amazing man, makes me happy, provides, is a good human being etc. Regardless, things with my mother are in a limbo kinda of state–I’m working on accepting the fact that we wont have a good relationship like we used too because I won’t just do what she wants. But she isn’t truly happy for me and hasn’t been there to support me with the wedding. So ok, on my side of the family things are rocky…
And then there is my FI’s side of the family. I LOVE his parents–honestly they are such wonderful loving people and have really made me feel like the daughter they never had. My FI has one brother, thats where my problems come into play. There has just bene a ton of drama with his brother–my guess it it all stems from my SIL though.
My SIL has had it out for me since day one. I always tried to be nice, but she has always treated me like crap. I’ll jump over all the beginning crap and go straight to the “best” part. They had to have a shotgun wedding in December and at first I was not even invited. Even though I live with my FI and we’re getting married in Sept. When his parents refused to go if I wasn’t invited they relented and invited me.
Then I was told by his brother that I wasn’t allowed to speak to her- absolutely not one word- and if I did, that she was going to punch me out. (this girl really is kinda trailor trash)
To top it off, she managed to un-best man my FI 10 mins before the ceremony, because he didn’t have anything nice to say about her after all the shit they/we went though (she has been abusive to his bro) and told his brother that he couldn’t do a toast. So whatever, we went through all that, there is so much more to it but that is just to give you an idea!
But now its getting closer to our wedding and we’re starting to plans showers and bachlorettes etc. Now I mentioned above that they had a shotgun wedding. My BIL and SIL said it was an accident at first, but we just learned that they planned it-while she was on bipolar meds mind you!.
My FI and I are 100% sure that she was trying to get pregnant bc everything is a competition for them and god forbid we get married first or have kids first. But also because the timing now gives her an excuse to not come to the wedding and to take attention away from us-we dont have proof but knowing her and her mental issues- its right on the money.
I’m not upset about her not coming, trust me!! But I’m having a hard time now because while my FI family is excited for the wedding, now they don’t have as much time or resources to be there for us. Last year, before all that craziness went on, I specifically choose our wedding so it would be spaced out and not be close to his brothers wedding (they were supposed to get married in the fall but he called it off and then she got preggers–maniplutaive much?)
I’m getting married in Sept and my wedding is in FL. My in laws live in NY and my B/SIL live in Cali. My MIL has a lot of health issues and can’t travel a lot/often. And now when were trying to coordinate things like my shower, its creating problems!
My MIL isn’t being mean about it or pushy, she is just obviously dealing with her own situation, but shes adament that she can’t travel when they want/need to do my events.
Its really hard because my family isn’t exactly excited or there for me and now his family–the people I was kinda doing this whole wedding for, bc I woulda just eloped if it was me–might not be able to be either. I’m so mad at this whole situation and I’m so frustrated that she keeps like “winning”. (Its a term she used actually-literally right after she got married on fbook she made a comment about winning and that she would keep winning)
So beyond all the issues we’re gonna have with the baby (i.e. how are we supposed to be family or be part of his brothers kids life–like he claims he wants us to be–if I can’t even speak to the kids mom!) now I feel like shes taking over what should be our time. I know that may sound selfish, but I just want to feel like its our time and I dont want to deal with her ridiculous drama OR my families. I just don’t want to have this depressing cloud hanging over everything and it is right now…