(Closed) Unsupportive in-laws *VENT*

posted 4 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Hostess
11864 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2014

had the same issues with my FIL’s.  They don’t get that our life in the big city is way better for FH than the life we left.  He moved here with me because I got into school.  I graduated a year ago and got a pretty good job.  At this point in our careers moving isn’t really an option – especially for FH.  Yet FMIL thinks that I should get a job closer to where THEY live (not my parents, them) and FH should quit his job and move with me and then get unemployemnt until he can get a job (if he left his job b/c he had to move with his spouse he would qualify for EI)

Post # 4
Member
18 posts
Newbee

[comment moderated for trolling]

Post # 6
Member
407 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

Sounds like my mother actually. 

She gets physcially ANGRY when SO talk about moving, or building our own place. Even the mention of how our downpayment is growing sense her on rant about how no one can afford a house and so forth. She thinks the only way for my SO to make good money is to spend 6-18 months applying for cadet training for the RCMP.. which then is 6 months of training on the other side of the country. Anything to get us apart and have me decide I don’t want to get married, even though she loves him. That women HATES seeing me happy, or doing well with my life. 

Post # 9
Hostess
7568 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2013

Yikes, it sounds like these parents don’t want to let go. I would cut down on spending every holiday with them and let them know you guys moving is not up for negotation. I think sometimes parents can feel like their children are puling away but it’s important that they know you guys want to be closer as friends and equals. You can only do that by tossing the “I know what’s best” mentality. 

Post # 10
Member
1692 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

I think it’s pretty obvious that it has nothing to do with FFIL not being proud, but that they do not want him to leave them alone.

Post # 14
Hostess
7568 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2013

@taraelisabeth:  I think your SO needs to stand up to his parents though. The longer they “get away with” guilting him, the harder it will be to break the cycle.

I feel you on the guilt about leaving by the way. My dad used to be just like that. I finally had to tell him that his behavior made me not want to visit them at all. We had a talk about it (like equals) and it’s helped. 

Post # 16
Hostess
11864 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2014

@taraelisabeth:  Well, FH’s brother lives around the corner from FIL’s his GF really doesn’t have time for them.  I couldn’t believe how they bullied her into coming over Christmas morning (she wanted to spend a quiet morning at home with their new baby).  

 

 

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