- 5 years ago
- Wedding: October 2013
I’m not sure how to begin this, but I figure if I don’t get a resolution, I can at least see if I’m not the only one in this boat.
My FH asked permission from my father for my hand in marriage. Both my parents were happy and thrilled that he extended the gesture to them. My father gave his approval. That night, my FH proposed to me in a helicopter, flying directly over the area our first date. That was pretty much one of the most romantic things anyone has done for me. That was April of this year.
When I showed my mother the ring, the first thing she asked if it was real. Then proceeded to tell me how small it was and gave me a bunch of her rings to wear instead of my engagement ring.
Forward to now, November. I’ve spent months trying to get my mother to help me, even just talk about the wedding. She promised to go with me dress shopping. Every time I tried to get her to go, she either changes the subject or tells me she’ll reschedule. After the 4th or 5th time, I just went with my MOH to go try on dresses. I found my dress, a beautiful dress that I saw online that was originally on ShopRuche, but I was lucky and got to try on locally. I pretty much knew what I wanted. I got my dress 2-3 months ago. I’ve told my mother several times that I’ve purchased it, but she quickly changes the subject. She hasn’t even asked to see it.
My birthday was a few days ago, and I called her and I jokingly said, “So what did you get me for my birthday?” She told me that I already had everything I wanted so why should she bother getting me anything and she changed the subject. That pretty much ended our conversation.
Everytime she calls, I bring up the wedding and she changes the subject. Both her and my father have offered to pay for the reception hall, which is is due in September of next year. They’ve also promised to pay for my dress, which every time I bring up, they change the subject. I pretty much paid for it out of pocket. They also promised to help me with the wedding, which is not true at all. FH and I have pretty much figured that they will not assist us financially with the wedding and are prepared to not receive any financial assistance. We’re happy if they do, but we can manage if they don’t. We’ve already put the deposit on the reception, we’re both looking for Wedding, invitation have been ordered, bridesmaids invite have been ordered, we have our bridesmaids and groomsmen in check. I even asked my parents if they wanted anyone of their friends to go and they told me no. Even my godmother or my aunt, who I’m going to invite anyway.
I know this sounds like I’m a spoiled brat but is this normal? My FMIL is more supportive at the moment with any questions I may have than my own mother. It feels strange, but I wish my mother was as supportive as my FMIL. I feel even worse that my FH parents are very loving and supportive of our marriage.
My mom has always stereotyped me as a very independant person, which for the most part I am, but it doesn’t mean I don’t need my family.
I’m also starting to wonder if my parents are not approving our marriage. I don’t know how to bring this up. It doesn’t matter to me, but I’d like to know.
I feel like I’m drawing blood from a stone. Am I the only one who is dealing with a cold and unemotional mother?