Unsure how to deal with this situation….

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
392 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

@AngE0522:  I think that’s rude. Wow. Okay, so just tell your fiancé you feel real uncomfortable doing that and let him handle it. Or call this woman and tell her yourself that you don’t think that’s something you’re up for. Thank her for the opportunity (wtf) but no thanks. 

 

Edit: I’m like you and I would just say okay because I can’t think of a reason not too, but don’t let her push you into doing it. You don’t want to and you don’t have to. Just say it and then brace yourself for her reaction, but the hardest part will be actually saying it and waiting for her to answer. after that you can put it behind you and enjoy your time as a guest. I’m sure she’s heard plenty of “no’s”, but she shouldn’t expect guests to serve Food. 

 

Post # 4
Member
42472 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@AngE0522:  “Thank you so much for honoring me by asking me to help out at the wedding. I would prefer to attend as a guest. Perhaps there are people local to you that you could ask, or you could hire a few high school students.”

Post # 5
Member
133 posts
Blushing bee

@julies1949:  +1.

Exactly what Julies said. Tell her you’d rather enjoy the wedding as a guest. And why does she feel a need to have people serve buffet food? That’s cafeteria style. People can serve themselves.

Post # 7
Member
194 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

@AngE0522:  That’s so weird! If it were me, I would probably just say yes, but dep down I’d feel super weird about it. It’s hard to say no to the bride!

Post # 8
Member
42472 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@AngE0522:  It’s not unusual to have servers assist at a buffet, becuse some people just take a ridiculous amount of food. Often they have servers for the entrees- the roast, chicken, ham etc. for portion control.

I understand that some people need to ask for help from friends and family to keep the budget under control but you and your SO are already gifting them with your presence at a cost of $3000. I don’t think you need to serve as  staff also.

Post # 9
Member
7197 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@AngE0522:  You could also offer the reason that you’l be tired from the travelling and would rather just relax and enjoy the day.

Post # 10
Member
1202 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

Is this a big, fancy wedding? Then yes, it’s an odd request. But I’ve been to many casual, inexpensive, weddings where family and close friends were asked to help decorate the reception hall or man the buffet.  Who are the other people serving food? The bridesmaids? Other family members? This woman is going to be your sister, and I dont think this is an over the top request if done politely, and if the bride isn’t spending 10,000$ on flowers while family serves food.  You won’t be asked to stand there all night, right? 30 minutes max?

Post # 11
Member
689 posts
Busy bee

Wow I’d be like super insulted? maybe? I dunno. As PPs said, wtf?

Tell your SO to handle it. This is just a weird situation. What’s the point of a buffet if you need to have pple “serving” it. 

Post # 12
Member
1344 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2015

@AngE0522:  I like Julies answer. I agree though, that is a weird request. If it’s a buffet, is it not catered? And why do they need servers? I have never heard of asking your guests to serve the food! Is this a small wedding?

Post # 13
Member
931 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

I think you should politely decline as you would rather attend as a guest. I had to provide servers for my wedding and i went to a local university and hired the caering students. They were super cheap and professional. Maybe you could suggest she look into something like that?

Post # 14
Member
774 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013 - Dalhousie Castle

I’d say: “sure, i’ll serve your buffet if you pay me like you would any other vendor. It’ll be $1500. Lol!” 

But seriously, how rude. I wouldn’t even respond. 

 

Post # 15
Member
774 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@AngE0522:  I can’t believe she’d have the stones to invite you to work at her wedding. After that kind of travel you should be treated (and pampered IMO) as a guest.

Post # 16
Member
455 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

@AngE0522:  Uh, no. Her request is beyond rude. You do not need an excuse to turn her down, and I wouldn’t even give her one.

“No, I’d rather not. Looking forward to celebrating with you!”

 

Leave a comment


Sent weekly. You may unsubscribe at any time.

Find Amazing Vendors