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You can plan a smaller, more intimate wedding - maybe at a restaurant you really like - a lot of them have private rooms..... or you can do a destination wedding somewhere you've always wanted to go and you'll get a wedding, GREAT photographs, and an awesome trip out of it!
Both my family and my fiance's families are overseas, and only a few are able to fly over for our wedding, so we're just planning on around 75 or so people. Fine by me - I'd rather have 75 people I genuinely care about than an army of people I couldn't care less about (and have to feed!) Good luck with your decision!
Can I ask how many people you would possibly invite if you did the wedding wedding?
@secondchances: I realize 40 isn't very much to most people, but it is when I try and calculate everything in my head for all that would be needed. Food (2 main meats, 4-5 sides, salad, fruit), beverages, utensils, china, desserts, and on and on. Am I making a bigger deal out of it than it should be?
No it can be overwhelming. Can I ask questions in order to better help you? First do you have a budget? Then tell me your priorities. Mine look like this: a)my dress b)decorations c)flowers d)#of people e)food f)cake g)music h)photog i)time/date J)location
This site is great and we are all about helping each other so relax you arent completely alone friend :)
I'm having a small intimate wedding w/ 50 ppl max. Just fam and a small group of friends. Due to circumstances, I wasn't able to have my destination wedding so we're getting married overlooking the ocean on a cliff. I'm having a wedding dinner instead of a reception and then we're going to bar hop. Budget was 5k and I'm going to be over 1k.
I would highly suggest you have a small intimate wedding and do some research. Make it about the 2 of you, not about what it should be like.
A small intimate wedding is the most fun to plan. You have a lot more personal touches and throw one in a less stressful way. It can be done for a lot less money too.
@secondchances: As far as our budget I'd be uncomfortable going anything over $3500. Personally, I'd like it to be $1k. Priorities: 1) photog 2) dress/suit 3) flowers/decoration 4) cake & desserts. Other than that I'm not too picky. I appreciate all the wonderful advice you ladies are giving!
@squeak35: If only I lived somewhere with a scenic ocean view. I'm liking the idea of a wedding dinner instead of a typical reception. Will you be doing a bouquet/garter toss and any other standard reception activities?
@iris1427: I'm just having a dinner. And instead of a wedding cake, cupcakes. No bouquet/garter toss or any of the standard reception activities. Not even my photographer will be there.. I've decided to have a family dinner where everyone can just enjoy spending time w/ one another. This is how our family celebrates holidays and other special occasions.
You definitely can throw a nice wedding in your budget. First go find a dress. Go to every bridal store in the area try on every style of dress. Take pics write down style #'s. Try on anything under $1500. Then go online and look at used wedding gowns. I have a list I can give you of sites. As long as you arent a hard to find size or extremely tall this will save you tons. Use the pics and style # to guide you and you should find a very reasonably priced gown that just needs alterations. (alterations can be costly so don't get a dress way to big or at all too small).
Take FI to try on suits. Take pics of him in several styles then go online. Overstock, Amazon both carry suits. Also watch for sales with Father's day approaching. Buying can be almost as cheap as renting and in the end you have a nice sui,t always a bonus. :)
Try craigslist or the bee for a photog. Some are professional just wanting to expand their portfolio and some would shoot for a free vacation- you pay travel. This will be the hardest thing to tackle under budget so start early.
Do you have a theme in mind? If not don't worry. I had one theme in mind but found the dresses that look best on me were too ornate for that theme so had to change it.
Cake, flowers,desserts, decorations can all come next. PM me and let me know how u make out.
Since you want to plan a wedding under $3500, here's some suggestions:
Photographer: You can always rent by the hour if need be. I'm getting a wedding package because I want the disc. I will use those photos to create books for my Mom and FMIL. Weddings are always an occasion for family photos.
Dress-I found my sample dress via yourdreamdress.com which I found on preownedweddingdress.com. Check out recyceledbride.com and oncewed.com. But you don't have to go the traditional route, found a dress that you love whether its blue or striped. Make it yours.
Dessert- Cupcakes are great. You can make them or have your local grocery store.
Food- If you don't want to have it @ a restaurant, have a a picnic. Potluck or catered. I know several ppl who have done it. I wanted to have the In N Out truck but it went over my budget.lol
I think ppl forget that our folks got married in a church and had their reception @ the family home or church location. There wasn't all the hoopla.
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First time (ever) to post on boards so please bear with me.
My dilemma is that I'm not sure whether or not to actually have the whole hullabaloo of a traditional-ish wedding (i.e. ceremony with lots of guests, reception in which we feed an army, cake cutting, garter toss, etc.) OR to have something small but personal.
My fiancee is from the UK so all of his family is over there and would be unlikely to come to the wedding as it is. Neither of us have a huge ring of friends, just a couple really. And although my famliy is large, I don't think they'd all come to witness our nuptials.
As far as what I want, I want my fiancee, nice photographs, and a dress. Really, that's it. everything else is just something extra to me. My fiancee doesn't care; he always says "it's whatever [I] want".
My stepmom tells me the woes of her decision to just go to the JP in a $20 dress. She said she regrets not doing anything more than that really. My mom says the opposite, that she would have rather done something very small and avoided all the fuss. I don't want to disappoint either of them since they're both helping out with the cost of whatever we decide.
So I'm torn. Do something for ourselves and a handful of other people? Or keep the entire family satiated with a "wedding-wedding"? Has anyone had to deal with this? Thanks to anyone who responds!