Unsure of what to do with the dress now…

posted 3 years ago in Dress
Post # 2
Member
3097 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013 - A court...

If you feel gorgeous in it & can wear it without thinking of him I’d keep it! Especially since it’s paid off, I doubt you’ll get close to what you paid for it back. Or if you feel the dress wasn’t too much $ and you’d like to look at dresses all over again there’s always eBay, Craigslist, preownedweddingdresses, etc. 

Post # 3
Member
1088 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

NicoleLyn1218:  If you really love it and are not in need of the cash, I suggest you keep it until the day you want to get married. At least then you can look again and decide if it’s still the style you like etc. Or maybe when you meet someone else, you’ll want to have something totally new as this one will always remind you of your ex, even if he never saw it and you never wore it.

Post # 4
Member
233 posts
Helper bee

There is an episode of Say Yes to the Dress where a woman saved a dress from a broken engagement and used it for her new wedding. I’m sorry, I can’t find which one it is though. Maybe one of the other bees will know? Anyway, it’s quite an emotional experience for her but overall she’s happy she kept her dress. I’d say keep yours. Like you said you didn’t buy it for him, if it’s your dress then it’s your dress. Nothing to do with him 🙂

Post # 5
Member
239 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

Hmm, I’m not so sure. Obvioulsy you bought it for yourself and not for him and obviously you love the dress, but if you put yourself in your hypothetical future husbands shoes, think about whether he would be happy for you to be wearing a dress you bought for your wedding to somebody else at your wedding to him. If that makes sense! It might also look a bit odd to a new boyfriend that you have got a wedding dress hanging in your closet!

On a much smaller scale, I bought some jewellery for my first wedding which I didn’t end up wearing. I have never worn it but still have it. Ironically it matches my dress for this wedding perfectly, but when I asked my FI how he would feel if I wore it, he wasn’t really very happy. In fact, he just assumed I was kidding a sort of went ‘oh god, imagine if you did? haha, that would be really weird’. So I just laughed along and let it drop.

I would get rid of the dress personally and get a whole new one when you are in the position to be getting married again. That may be a bit down the line anyway, so fashion and your taste may change. Or you might plan a totally different style of wedding next time and the original dress may not be suitable. By that time it might be too late to sell or return it, so I would do it now.

Post # 6
Member
715 posts
Busy bee

NicoleLyn1218:  i agree with pps. do what feels right for you. if you can imagine to wear it at another occasion, keep it 🙂 all the best to you!

Post # 7
Member
233 posts
Helper bee

 

NicoleLyn1218:  I just found the episode, it’s season 7 episode 5 called “Worth the Wait”

Post # 8
Member
240 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2014 - saint patricks parish

NicoleLyn1218:  keep the dress you feel beautiful in it and he never saw it so theres no bad luck with it! and I’m sorry about your heartbreak hope your heart heals.

Post # 10
Member
100 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

I too had a cancelled wedding and kept my dress using the same reasoning you had. Now it’s almost two years later and I’m getting married for real in August. It turned out that my dress a) didn’t really fit anymore and b) didn’t go with the vision my SO and I have for OUR wedding. And when I tried it on again, it just felt…yucky. So I took it to a bridal gown consignment store. Hopefully it’ll sell and I can put the money toward the perfect dress I just bought. If not, I’ll donate it somewhere and someone else can have a beautiful dress. But if I were you, I’d keep it for now. I think I would have been always wondering about it and sad if I sold it before I was ready. 

Post # 11
Member
1230 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

NicoleLyn1218:  Bottom line- hold onto these things until you don’t want to anymore. The dress you can easily sell on preownedweddingdress.com or something like it. But, if you like it and it doesn’t hurt to hold on to, keep it. Who know’s, maybe in time you won’t even like it anymore.

Stay strong!

Post # 12
Member
1634 posts
Bumble bee

 

NicoleLyn1218:  I think I’d keep it until I knew for sure I didnt want it anymore. There may come a time when you realize that you actaully do have memory connections between the dress and your ex-FI, but you might find the opposite and that you still feel amazing in it. If it’s not hurting you to keep it, just put it on the back burner for a while!

Post # 14
Member
2763 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

It doesn’t matter what anyone says. . .it’s your heart that you have to listen to on this one. The mind can justify all decisions, but it’s what you feel in your heart that matters. If you keep it, I just don’t want you to always think of the broken engagement when you see it or wear it. Maybe you could put it up for sale, for a specific price. . .and if you sell it, cool…If not then you were meant to keep it?!?!

Post # 15
Member
263 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

I had a friend call off an engagement and eventually find someone new and got married.  She kept her dress but in the 4 years or so since the original was purchased it had dated itself a bit and she no longer wanted to wear it (sizing might have played into it too but largely it looked like an older dress).  She bought a new dress and it was too late to sell it so she donated it.  She even had trouble GIVING it away because most stores know old dresses don’t have much market value.  Something to keep in mind.  

Owning a wedding dress is extremely uncomfortable for a new guy.  I read you were 21 and in all honestly most guys at not marriage minded in that age group yet and that would be terrifying. I had an old dress that I wore as a costume and even mentioning it to guys that were marriage minded (as a joke) was a bit of a tense thing for some. I imagine it would come along with a lot of emotional baggage too.  

Would you want your next FI to give you an engagement ring he bought in contemplation of someone else?  Lets say she cheated before he gave it to her or she said no so it’s not like it was hers but it was bought with someone else in mind.  Would that be weird for you? 

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