- 4 years ago
- Wedding: September 2014
Still trying to work out exactly what we want for our wedding, which will be next year. We sat down together to write a guest list, which added up to 64 guests. There were a few others that, space and money allowing, we would be pleased to invite but there were certainly 65 people we wanted to, or thought we ought to, invite to be there with us. 46 of these are family members – that’s 23 on each side – and the rest close friends and their partners.
The 46 represents the entire of our close family members – parents, siblings and partners, grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins and partners. Although I am closer to some cousins more so than others, I feel it would be impossible to invite one and not the others and I don’t particularly mind extending an invite to any of them – they are family, after all, and we get along fine.
I’ve found a lovely venue for our ceremony, which is about 40 minutes away from where we live, but it can only accommodate 25 guests and isn’t particularly accessible for our older family members. Truthfully, I’d be pleased if it were just the 2 of us there with a couple of witnesses… That said, I also quite like the idea of just having our parents and siblings join us for the ceremony and then celebrating with our other family members and friends later. I’m not sure whether this is would be a good idea: would we have to invite our siblings’ partners to join us for the ceremony and, if we did, would our relatives feel put out?
I’m most worried about our grandparents feeling offended but, truthfully, none of them would be able to climb the stairs to the ceremony room easily. The problem is that I haven’t found anywhere I like nearly as much. I want a marriage, yes, but I’m not so sure about the wedding part. All the hotel venues we’ve considered are just too, well, wedding-y.
Is elopement the solution to this? We’ve not yet announced our engagement so no one knows anything about our plans…
All I know is that I don’t really want a big white wedding – just a simple ceremony and then a gathering with our friends and family afterwards to celebrate. I don’t particularly mind when the celebration happens – be it on the same day or later. We don’t live particularly near to our families but are otherwise close to them so I would like to put on a meal or something for them in celebration of our wedding.
Cost isn’t a massive factor in our decision. We can afford a traditional wedding for the number of guests we’re considering but I just feel sick at the thought of spending so much on one day! We’ve got to live after the wedding’s over.
What would you do? I think I might have my heart set on this venue for the ceremony. It’s just a matter now of working out what to do with the guests – who to invite to the ceremony (if anyone) and then when to have the reception afterwards (on the day or later).