(Closed) Until today, I knew what I wanted. ((Rant))

posted 5 years ago in Waiting
Post # 4
662 posts
Busy bee

Yeah it sounds like you need to communicate with him and figure out exactly what his plan is.  I think that it is reasonable for you to want your friend there but if 2013 is too soon and she’ll be gone in 2014, you might have to comprimise and wait for 2015 (eesh that’s almost painful to type,.. it’s so far away!)



Post # 5
963 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

Why does he want 2014? Is he worried about affording a big wedding so soon?

I think you should talk to him and figure out his reasons. After that you can post here and we can help you think of solutions 🙂

Post # 7
181 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Call him out on it. Talk seriously about the courthouse and see how he responds.

Post # 8
218 posts
Helper bee

Yes, I am also confused. If he would go to the courthouse tomorrow… how is next summer “too soon”. are there other reasons that you didn’t mention?

Post # 9
1430 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

You need to sit down with him and talk about this. Does he want a longer engagment? Is he worried about saving for a wedding (that’s a very legitimate concern)? Figure out why he wants the wait and compromise. I know you may want your best girlfriend there, but in all reality what matters is that you and him are there exchanging vows at the end of the day.

Also, I get why he could say he would get married at the courthouse ASAP, but not have a wedding so soon. Going down to the courthouse involves no planning, no saving up for a huge wedding, etc. So to me that makes perfect sense.

Post # 11
427 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

@HopingtobeeMrsV:  You can only keep trying I suppose. Give it a while for the dust to settle and explain WHY – not the date – but having your best friend there is so important to you. Taking the date out of the equation might help, but as another bee mentioned, if neither of you can sacrifice what you want, that means 2015. Is your best friend gone ALL YEAR? 🙁

Post # 12
78 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

@HopingtobeeMrsV:  Thats tough, I do think its ultimately most important for you BOTH to have everyone you BOTH want to have at your wedding. 8 months is not very long to plan a wedding though (June 2013), so I kinda see his point there, but I don’t think the date of your wedding should be all his decision-there must be some way to compromise. 

Will your friend get any vacation time during her service? Depending on the country I believe its likely she will accrue leave. As long if you stay in touch with her, that should be workable (might be expensive flight tickets though). 

Post # 13
2577 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

Get married in 2015.

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