Post # 1
I don’t think I’m having a super “untraditional” wedding by most means. I’m still wearing white, we’re having a reception, etc, etc. However, I’ve decided to omit some of the wedding traditions that really seemed to serve no purpose and am receiving a lot of grief because of it. I have my reasons for omitting or keeping each of the wedding traditions and have tried to explain to people, but most people look at me like I’m crazy.
No bridal party- I HATE being a bridesmaid and would never want to put my friends through the misery. It saves them a ton of time and energy. They can just show up to my wedding wearing whatever they want and enjoy themselves
Seeing the Groom Beforehand- It will help calm our nerves and I want LOTS of pictures so I need plety of time before the ceremony in addition to after
Not Getting Married By Preacher- I’m not religious so it doesn’t matter to me. My uncle is getting ordained so that he can preform our ceremony. It will mean so much more to have him preform it than some random stranger.
No Showers- Again, I HATE going to showers and would never want to subject my friends to that. I really don’t like to be fussed over and honestly think it’s kind of tacky to just have a party so people will bring you gifts.
I know I will have the wedding of my dreams and don’t doubt any of my decisions. However, it’s getting really annoying to have to explain my choices over and over and over again and people still not get it. How have you explained your “untraditional” decisions to friends and family members?
Post # 3
I’m right there with ya! My close friends (who would be my wedding party if I were having one) totally understand and support my preferences. My mom is pretty cool with my way of doing things, she’s had enough of her own weddings that she’s not a total momzilla. Everybody else is in for a surprise because I. Don’t. Want. To. Hear. It.
Just keep quiet, share your ideas on the bee, and enjoy your wedding planning!
Post # 4
Agreed! Omitting all of those traditions, plus garter and bouquet toss. I was single for long enough to learn to hate having to stand out there “trying” to catch the bouquet, pretending my life’s goal was to get married ASAP. We have taken grief on these things (especially no bridal party – “your cousin (that you never talk to) was so hurt”) but ultimately it is your day. Be comfortable with your decisions and you will enjoy it. 🙂
Post # 5
I really thought I was more on the non-traditional side as a bride, but I think I landed somewhere in the middle. The non-traditional things we’re doing (or not doing!):
– No garter toss. This weirds me out so so so so badly. I’ve seen friends have hilarious and very fun garter tosses, but I think I’d die if it were me!
– …and along those lines, no garter! I have sensitive skin and I think feeling a garter all day/night would drive me crazy. I’m weird hah. And if we’re not throwing it, then I don’t see why I should bother.
– No bouquet toss. I don’t want to put the spotlight on my single friends; a few have recently been through bad breakups, and I don’t want to make them feel crappy.
– No choreographed first dance. My Future Mother-In-Law is a little baffled I think, but Fiance and I just can’t imagine it. He’s the first to admit he’s not a great dancer, and I think I’d tweak a little if I had to remember steps in front of everyone!
– Not a lot of flowers. Okay, maybe this isn’t really non-traditional, but I’m not a huge flower fan (and my mom and I have allergies!) and I just can’t see spending the money for something I don’t have to have.
– No wedding cake! The prices – and usually lack of quality – drive me nuts. We’re going to have key lime pie instead 🙂 And for our guests, our caterers are doing a big dessert spread, and we have a candy bar for our favors.
– Our officient is FI’s BFF 🙂 We’re super excited to have a mostly non-denominational ceremony (I’m Jewish, Fiance is Presbyterian, but we’re not religious really) with personal aspects included, not to mention an officient who really knows us as people! For “religious” aspects, we’re having a chuppah because we think they’re beautiful (it’s a simple birch chuppah with flowers in the corners – some of the only flowers for the wedding!) and Fiance is going to step on the glass because we think it’s awesome 🙂
Post # 6
I am having a very “untraditional” wedding as well! There will be a ceremony, followed by a reception, but that’s about it as far as tradition goes. It’s a morning ceremony and brunch reception. There will be lawn games for entertainment and no dancing. I hate dancing and I do not want to do something I hate on my wedding day. No bouquet toss, no garter toss, no garter. No wedding party, no bridal shower, no bachelor/bachelorette parties.
Basically I told Fiance when we started planning that I only want to do things we actually WANT to do, not things we feel like we SHOULD do. It’s your day, the only thing that absolutely HAS to happen at your wedding is that you get married!!
Post # 7
We’re having a pretty non-traditional wedding too, including all of the points that you mentioned. I completely agree with you — I do not understand the purpose behind bridal parties, showers, bachelor/ette parties, etc. and we are SO happy to be doing without. Almost everyone who asks me who my bridesmaids are and I tell them “no one!” is completely dumbfounded by my response and react as though you can’t get married without a bridal party!!
People also did not know how to take the fact that I did all of my dress shopping with fiance, and even further, that he actually found the dress that I ended up picking. What are you doing!? Don’t you know that’s bad luck?!
There are soooo many more “traditions” that we are omitting. Most people I talk to don’t understand this at all, and it’s annoying explaining myself. But they don’t have to understand; they don’t have to agree; they don’t have to like it. And I love it that my wedding is not going to be a cookie-cutter, “wedding industry” wedding.
Post # 8
Yeah I hate traditional weddings with a passion, in fact we have put off getting married for this reason for 4 years, but when you do get married, the amount of grief I’m receiving is unreal.
Im fed up of people having tantrums for me doing things in a non traditional manner, my partner originally wanted to get married abroad and not invite anyone and have random witnesses, but my mum went ballistic so now were having a back garden thing.
Im making the cake myself, I’ve yet to reveal that it will be in the shape of a monster truck, I’m not having any bridesmaids, I refuse to let any of the men give speeches I think my partner might faint at the idea if he had to do one. We aren’t having any dancing but people are horrified that I won’t be doing a dance.
I didn’t want any rings because I can’t wear then due to severe eczema but I have now been bullied into it, doing a non traditional wedding I thought would make it less stressful but it hasn’t because you have to constantly battle and negotiate with people.
Post # 9
No flowers, no DJ (diy ipodding), no permanent wedding ring (just a stage ring), no white dress (but TWO non white ones), parasols instead of bouquets, tables named after fictional spacecraft, anime cake toppers, spending the whole night and most of the day with the groom before the wedding, venue is an historic boat, no officiant (yeeeahh Pennsylvania self uniting licenses), bridesmaids in different dresses. Tons of nerdy stuff everywhere.
And… other stuff. Very nontraditional. Have gotten some flack for it. Don’t really care. 😉
Post # 10
In the end, all that matters is that two people got married.
We had the white dress, the cake, and the reception but we did not have anyone walking me down the aisle or giving me away, we saw each other before the wedding and even spent most of the day together, no dancing, no garter or bouquet toss, no wedding party, etc. It was still a “real” wedding though because we are married now!
Post # 11
I’m glad I’m not alone. my friends keep asking me what my colors are, I don’t have any. No wedding party, my fiancé and I will be taking photos together before the ceremony. We will greet our guests as they arrive at the church and my fiance and I will walk down the aisle together. There won’t be something old, new or blue, nor will I be wearing a veil. Our reception consists of a formal dinner, no dancing, DJ, wedding cake, bridal bouquet or garter toss.
Post # 12
I agree with almost all the PP’s, I’m definitely into axing some of the ‘traditions’. I’m a practical person and sometimes when I see some weddings all I can say in my head is ‘why’.