(Closed) Unwanted Guest

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
3375 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Just call her and explain that the plus ones were for serious relationships, engaged or married couples only.They may have both already purchased plane tickets though.

It will be an awkward conversation and I still cringe when I think of the convo I had with one of my friends.

Post # 4
Member
2106 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

If you left the +1 wide open, she can bring whoever she wants and it’s a major faux pas for you to recind the +1 invite. 

If you don’t mind breaking etiquette, call her and explain that the +1 was in error.  Take the blame, apologise, and let he know that you’re at capacity for the venue (true or not). 

Post # 5
Member
194 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Hey date twin, I have a very similar situation.  Except for about 5 of my FI’s friends (who where not given a +1) have RSVPed that they were bringing their girlfriends.  I really want to tell them we have no room for their guests.  Especially since neither my FI or I know these girls.  What if they cause drama at my wedding.  But FI says to let them come.  But I’m skeptical….therefore, I have no idea what you should do.  But good luck.

Post # 6
Member
1638 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@Argentinech1c:  I would call her. Screw etiquette. This woman was rude to your mother. She will be the mother of the bride that day. She can’t come. You have no room for her and you are sorry but your wedding did not have room for extra guests.

Post # 7
Member
3265 posts
Sugar bee

This is the importance of accurately addressing your invites.

If you in fact put +1, she is free to bring whomever she chooses.  If you put John Smith and Sally Jones, and John can’t make it, it is either Sally Jones comes solo or declines.

If you just put +1, it is an open invitation to bring a guest of her choosing.

Post # 8
Member
11273 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2012

@Argentinech1c:  why cause additional stress to yourself and to someone you DID invite.  not sure how big your wedding is but if it’s there’s enough people there, chances are you won’t even notice her.  besides, you’ll be too busy with other stuff throughout the day.  put her at a table near the back so she won’t be near you or your mom during dinner.

Post # 9
Member
2589 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Echoing PPs, but, if you put a general +1, she gets to bring her.

I feel your pain – I had a friend invite herself AND a date – though I hadn’t planned on inviting her, let alone a guest – but – sometimes its just easier to roll with it, knowing that on your wedding day, it will be the least of your concerns. 

 

 

Post # 10
Member
4465 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

I definitely feel your pain on this. It might be tempting to throw etiquette out the wedding and disinvite her mom, but that decision will extend far beyond the wedding day and will most likely negatively impact your friendship. If you did extend a +1 to her, I think you should honor it and let the woman come. It’s a tough spot to be in. Your mother is being really sweet and nice about it. I know you probably have a protective instinct for your mom against your friend’s mom, but your mom sounds like a classy woman and will be able to handle it well if this woman does come. 

Post # 11
Member
955 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

@LuvMySailor:  Haha love it. I vote for being bold all the way! In no way would I accept someone being at my wedding that had been rude to my mother.

Theres a time for etiquette and then there’s a time for following your gut 😉

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