Weddingbee boards

So ontop of all the other drama that is surrounding this nuptial (see my other posts), we have another issue.

My fiance's godmother is a sociopath. No joke. His entire family has been estranged from her for several years and doesn't want anything to do with her, yet when something big happens in one of their lives, she pops up & my FMIL (who is usually the control freak) is almost too intimidated by her to tell her get lost. This has gone on for 20+ years. My fiance was the godmother's favorite child and she was practically obsessed with him (think Bates Motel kinda thing). He despises her because the hell she has put this family through and he's not the only one who feels this way.

Somehow, she found out about our engagement (I have no idea how) & went ballistic. She called his mother & left message after message begging her to call her back. When my FMIL didn't return her calls, she showed up at the door (she lives around the block from his family) & wanted to know why she hadn't been notified.

I was at the university I attend when I received a text message from my fiance's oldest sister telling me that the godmother was there and jokingly told me to bring the holy water & crosses when I come by.

When I got there, the godmother & FMIL were sitting on the front porch chatting. I walked up and the godmother wanted to know if I was intentionally keeping the engagement a secret.

She has never liked any of my fiance's previous girlfriends and they were so scared of her. They just folded their hands and kept their mouths shut when she was around. I 'm a bit more outspoken.

She saw the ring & made no complimentary comments so I walked off. Then when the details of the wedding came up, my FMIL opened her big mouth & told her everything. Immediately, the godmother started taking over. "We can do this for the reception..and that..and this..and blah blah blah.."

Then she looked at my FMIL and wanted to know when would be a good time for her and my FMIL only to go up to ceremony site to check things out, with no regard to me..the bride.

Luckily, my FMIL made no plans with her & just shrugged, knowing how ridiculous the idea was.

Then the godmother, in front of his entire family (who was visiting) with the exception of my fiance who was at work, looks at me and goes, "I just want you to understand something. Jonathan is my child..I took care of him when he was little. I changed his diapers..bottle fed him, everything. He's MY baby.."

I guess she expected that I would be like all the other girlfriends he has had, but not at all. I let out a snicker and said, "Well he's my baby now.."

To make a long story short, my fiance was on his way over from work and I texted him to warn him. I let him know what was going on, and he said it'd be ok.

When he walked in the door, she let him have it. Went off on him saying he should've called her whenever he asks SOMEONE to marry him & that it was inconsiderate & that she wanted an apology. He wasn't going to give her one & just shrugged.

Then she made a huge mistake. She looked right at him and goes, "You know, you're just like your daddy.." (His dad is currently incarcerated.)

I saw something click in my fiance's head and as she soon as she was on her merry way, he put his foot down. He looked at all of us & said "She's not coming to this wedding..she's not going to be any part of it, if it's the last thing I do!"

So, we've of course all established that she's not invited. Not a save the date..not an invitation..nothing. Luckily, my FMIL didn't give her any literature about where it would be held, or anything like that, but according to his mother, she will find a way to find out where it is & when & she will show up uninvited, even if we don't send her an invitation.

We've removed all information with specific details about the wedding of all of our facebook & myspace pages (which her granddaughter checks) and anything in the newspaper (engagement announcement) was very, very vague.

She did the same thing at my fiance's high school graduation & now we're wondering if she'll pull something at the wedding. She's the type that would show up in all black or all white or object during the ceremony. I offered to tell her myself the next time she comes around that she's not invited & that I didn't appreciate what she said to my fiance, but my FMIL is scared for me. Apparently this woman always finds a way to get even, even when you don't know it's coming from her.

If my fiance wanted her there, I could tolerate her, but he has specifically said he doesn't want her there & that he'd rather cancel the wedding than have to deal with her there. I've considered notifying my coordinator, but I don't want to scare her. & if she were to show up & were asked to leave, this woman wouldn't leave without a fight.

So..what to do?

oh my gosh, thats crazy! It is terribble that your in this situation, I would have been freaking out but you seemed to of handled it awesomely "he's my baby now.." I really enjoyed that part!  What kind of a person in there right mind would do something like this... If this doesnt clear up before the wedding you should definitely tell the coordinator.