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Upcoming vacation, thinking he may propose- knowing he won't, how not to be sad

posted 1 year ago in Waiting
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    eden760      

    My BF and I live together and our 2 yr anniversary is at the end of the month.  We are going to NYC for a long weekend and to celebrate.  He has planned a surprise dinner on our anniversary at a 5 star restaurant.  Which is a big deal, because he is fairly frugal. We spoke of getting engaged back in September , but  I acted crazy after that.  I wanted a timeline, kept showing him rings etc... Finally in February we went through a tough patch and I dropped all of that BS.

    Over the last month he has been doing the weirdest things- saying "Here's my wife" when I arrive at friends house, in front of friends saying "when we get married", "We should do this at our wedding", teasing me and saying "what kind of wife are you?".  This is so out of character for him and each and every time I blow it off.

    Now I am making myself nuts thinking- is he going to propose in NY? Every thing he says I analyze for meaning.  But,  I am 100% sure he  has not bought a ring.  I think I am just making myself crazy, because I think it would be amazing to get engaged in NYC.  How do I go on my trip and forget all of this nonsense without being mad and disappointed in him?  I feel like a jerk for even saying that, but I know myself

     
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    BFRANK2584    July 3, 2011   Chicago

    Good Luck and calm down, just enjoy the anniversary and the fact he is celebrating it in such a fantastic way!

     
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    July    August 13, 2011   Massachusetts

    how can you be 100% sure he hasnt bought the ring?

     
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    europomme    September 17, 2011  

    try and just focus on, "when it's meant to happen, it will"... if it doesnt happen on the trip, at least you will be surprised when he does do it, and I'm sure he will come up with a wonderful proposal for you... just hang in there... if he's talking that much about it, obviously you can't be waiting that much longer, just be a LITTLE more patient and enjoy the vacation, i'm sure it will be happening soon :)  Good luck.

     
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    gocubbies       Illinois

    I am in the same shoes as you with an upcoming trip to Wisconsin, so I don't have  a ton of advice :(

    But I like @europomme's.. "when it's meant to happen, it will"..... I know it's hard but that's what I am going to tell myself!

    I also went through a crazy patch after we first brought it up... it's just really tough being in the dark about all of it. The boys could never understand! :P

     

     
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    megin    November 11, 2011   iowa

    I know how you feel. I'm going on vacation with my boyfriend in July. It will also be our 4 year anniversary. I'm going a little crazy too.

     
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    Audreysdance    May 21, 2011   Portland, OR

    Poor girly. Don't fret. Enjoy nyc! Its an awesome place! :)

    Maybe it will happen but tell yourself it won't.

    I did that with my last big trip with my now fiance.

    We got engaged just 3 months after the trip.

    It will happen, he wouldn't say such things otherwise but for now enjoy his 5 star dinner and romance.

    Have a talk with him in a few months if you feel led on but don't ruin your beautiful trip by expecting too much.

    Stay positive and let us know either way.

    Xxx

     
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    Melissabegins    December 12, 2009  

    Maybe he hasn't bought a ring, but is still thinking about proposing! In my experience, it's not until the guy is ready to get engaged that he will even utter the W word ;)

     
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    Buzzing bee
    septcabride    September 2010  

    I was in the same situation - totally thought it would happen on a specific vacation.  Then, at the airport, FH - who is normally totally paranoid - was acting completely normal, so I thought, it's not happening.  Because, obviously, if he had a ring on him he would be super over-protection of his carry-on, his jacket, etc.  But he wasn't.  Fast forward to day 2 of our vacation... proposal.

    I thought it was definitely happening about 5 times before that trip, and I KNOW I delayed the proposal by 6+ months by bringing it up, nagging, generally losing my mind.  So, waiting advice:  don't overthink it.  Repeat after me, and europomme: It. Will. Happen. When. It. Happens.  :o)  In the meantime, have an AWESOME time in New York.

     
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    divergirl    October 8, 2011  

    I totally know how you feel...I've been with my boyfriend for almost 5 years...we're going to Sweden next week..and all I can think is OMG that would be so romantic to engaged...I mean could I have set it up even better? I mentioned it...and he was like yeah it's not going to happen so lets just enjoy our trip....but then in the very back of my mind I'm like wait maybe he's saying that to throw me off.... He even said how would I even pack it..and i'm like duh carry on...not that hard...So my solution is to really not think about it. I am like 99% sure it's NOT gong to happen... so I really want to focus on having a good time and enjoying my vacation...even if he is an idiot for not taking adavantage of an awesome proprosal opportunity.

     
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    Isilme       Texas

    Here's a funny story by a girl who writes for Glamour magazine:

    http://www.glamour.com/weddings/blogs/save-the-date/2009/09/have-you-ever-been-completely.html

    She'd been convinced it was THE moment, but... well, read it and see.  It made me laugh, and feel good that I'm not the only one who's let er hopes get dashed by having an expectation that didn't fit into his current plans.

    Just make sure you don't let expectations ruin an awesome trip, especially when there are plenty of other opportunities coming up with holidays all through Feb. Even if it's in his plans, 1 million things might interfere with him being able to propose on this trip, so just try to be happy that he's obviously comfortable enough with the idea to mention it, and take things s they come :)

     
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    maggierose    May 26, 2012  

    Like some other bees, I am in the same position! Have a fantastic trip planned to Cancun and Playa del Carmen at the end of this month with my BF - two weeks before our three year anniversary! I keep thinking it would be the PERFECT time, since I know the trip will provide for some very romantic moments. But I also know that he has not bought the ring yet. My BF is always doing the "you're my wifey" stuff and "when we get married" so I know it's on the brain! I am going to try to enjoy the trip, and our anniversary, and Xmas....if nothing happens by January THEN I will give myself permission to flip out again :) I know it will be hard but just try to have fun and enjoy the trip for what it is, I am sure whenever he does propose will be just as romantic no matter where it happens.

     

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