(Update 4) SO of 5 yrs broke up with me- I'm not 'the one'

posted 3 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
7208 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@AussieSummer:  Honey, from what you’ve said here (I’ve read some of your old posts not all), it’s time to go cold turkey. Break off all contact, unfriend him, block him on your phone and facebook and everything else. Don’t offer any explanation even if he finds a way to contact you and asks. You don’t owe him an explanation after the way he’s treated you.

Skip events he’s going to be at if people will be like that. Phone the host and apologise. Or, find a GOOD FRIEND who will stay by your side the whole night. I’m sorry for the way people acted at the party. Find good friends who will support you.

(((Aussie hugs)))

Post # 4
Member
1793 posts
Buzzing bee

Agree with Paula – it is time to put this to bed. Leave him behind and start rebuilding your life.  He is NOT going to take you back, he is just trying to make himself feel better.

Post # 5
Member
1036 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@AussieSummer:  I agree with everyone above about cutting him out. However, at the moment, I just want to send you a big hug. I’m so sorry..you deserve so much better and it will come. 

But for now…*big hugs*. It’s a few thousand miles, but i hope they get there soon. 😛

Post # 6
Member
4220 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Seriously, stop giving this jerk your time. He’s made his decision and is still leading you on. The only way to move past this manipulative BS he keeps pulling is to stop having any contact with him and move on. He’s not going to decide for you, nor should he have that power. Make a decision to not put up with that kind of treatment anymore. 

Post # 7
Member
2299 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

@AussieSummer:  I’m sorry that you feel so sad, and I wanted to offer you a giant internet hug.

It’s going to sound harsh, but lady, that guy is dragging you through the mud, and you are letting it happen. He has you exactly where he wants you right now – you aren’t together, but he is still on your mind, you are still talking, and he is still leading you on. You need to cut him off. Seriously, fuck him! He’s feeding you lines to keep you hanging on, and you need to make the decision to stop all the craziness and move on with your life.

Post # 8
Member
511 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@paula1248:  +1

Seriously, this guy just used up his last, last chance. Cut him out of your life, he’s not even a friend at this point. He’s just leading you on for the sake of making himself feel like he has a ‘backup’ plan. You deserve SO much better.

Post # 9
Member
2537 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

This guy is no good, he’s a horrible person for putting you through all of this.  It’s one thing to break up but it’s another to drag it out and bring you down.

Please let your heart heal by ceasing all communications with him.  You deserve better.

Post # 10
Member
319 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

You said the engagement party was for “mutual friends”? 🙁 friends would not treat you like that, they clearly chose him in the break up- and even if you did get back together and they were nice to you again, girl- it’s going to be awkward and fake “nice”. You cannot ever trust any of them now.

I am sorry this happened to you but after reading all your posts- YOU NEED TO LEAVE AND FIND SOMEONE NEW! YOU DESERVE BETTER! HE IS NOT THE ONE FOR YOU! GET OUT WHILE YOU’RE STILL YOUNG AND BEAUTIFUL!

Post # 11
Member
108 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@AussieSummer:  Plain and simple, this guy has you by the collar. You need to stop leaving your foot in the door “just in case” he figures his stuff out. He is terrible to string you along like this. It is timeeeee to let it go. 

Post # 12
Member
1888 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@AussieSummer:  don’t let him string you along while he makes up his mind! That’s exactly what he is doing and that’s why you feel so bad – he is not letting you move on but he doesn’t want to get back together. Take control and move on – it will be hard at first but the healing process will not start till you cut him loose. 

Post # 13
Member
1463 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

He is not worth ONE MORE SECOND of your valuable time.  Cut him off, completely.  Facebook, e-mail, phone, and anything else that keeps you to tethered to each other.  He’s a dick, plain and simple.  I dumped a guy, when I was in my 20’s, after 4 years together.  He was not a nice man, but “I loved him.”  I was heartbroken for a while, but guess what?  I found someone even better. 

Post # 14
Member
2687 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2015 - Ketchum, ID

@AussieSummer:  stop f**king talking to him or contacting him at all. Ignore him at the events unless you’re in a situation that absolutely calls for it, and then don’t ever make contact with him. I’ve been in your situation… it gets much better, I promise. One day you’ll find someone that you deserve. He’s not it. 

Post # 15
Member
7208 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@AussieSummer:  I got really nosey and browsed some of your old posts. I hope you don’t mind. 🙂

First I saw that you are young. So you have lots of time to find “Mr. Right”, and it’s not your ex.

Second, you appear to be a Christian and a church member. As am I. I love my church but some churches can be cliquey. Could it be that your ex is from your church and has been there longer? Sadly then, it wouldn’t surprise me if many people sided with their “old friend”. If you can’t find people in your church who will be a friend to YOU, then it may be time to find a new church. In the right church, it is possible to find wonderful friends.

Post # 16
Member
1465 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2015

Please don’t take this the wrong way. I think you need to find professional help, and express these thoughts to a licensed professional.  After my last horrible break up, I thought I could make it through without seeing a counselor or therapist, and it wrecked me. I’m still, close to 7 years later, dealing with some of the sadness and anger from that break up.

You need someone who can respond in a professional and therapeutic manner. The bee is great for touch-and-go advice, but this is the fourth thread you’ve posted about this break up, and I think you need more help than internet people.

 

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