(Closed) Update

posted 7 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
3302 posts
Sugar bee

love the progress!!!

Post # 4
Member
3640 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

Hurray! That is all so exciting. ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 6
Member
600 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2006

He probably felt like it was a kick in the balls.  I say that lovingly and humorously as I too struggle with helping my SO save money on the ring.  I literally just got off skype with him and told him that it will cost $75 for him to propose to me and explained to just get a cheap gemstone ring (I was and am 100% serious).  His immediate reaction was wondering how everyone would think of him getting that and wanting to get something nicer.  I had to be like “no, this is what I want, I really couldn’t care less if it was nicer.  I just want to be engaged and get this show on the road.”  

When he hears “hey, melt down my mom’s old gold” it goes through his male ear and he actually hears “hey loser, you don’t have a load of dough to support me, so I, your GIRLfriend, am going to help you out by offering my MOTHER’s old gold because you’re too poor and broke ass to get something better.”

I know it sounds so horrible and I know, believe me, I know that you don’t mean for it to come across that way and I know that’s not how you thought it would sound.  But I think guys are so sensitive when it comes to the e-ring/proposal and they twist things around.

Post # 8
Member
370 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

If it comes up again, maybe try making it sound like it would be more meaningful to have your moms ring as part of your engagement ring. You could even suggest if his mother has a piece of gold jewelry and your mother has a piece of jewelry, you could combind them to make one ring. I know GreenKarat.com does that. We’ve actually talked about doing that with jewelry from family memeber for our actual wedding rings, but I think it would make a beautiful really meaningful enagement ring, and contributing to the gold that they use make it would cut down on the cost quite a bit. They even have really affordable options, like a sapphire solitaire that’s increddibly lovely.

Post # 10
Member
3640 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

@KoalaWalla: Fantastic idea about the meaningful part. ๐Ÿ˜‰

Post # 12
Member
858 posts
Busy bee

dont feel bad *hugs* I was in the same boat last weekend I had suggested moissanite because I love it and as a way to save money and speed things up (didnt tell him that part) so we went to look at some in person and it turned into my bf flipping out about how it wasnt good enough then he got pissy and didnt want to go in the store which turned into me crying because I felt like he didnt care about the proposal. so I ended up sobbing quietly through the whole movie he wanted to see and now I am on a no ring no anything engagement/marriage talk unless he brings it up

Post # 14
Member
858 posts
Busy bee

@sherryberry: when I asked my SO why he was scared he said it was because he is worried that he wont be able to give me everything that I want and that he is worried about being able to provide for me for the rest of our lives ( not that I want that I want to feel like I can take care of myself) thats just whats drilled into guys heads and it can cause a mental block so it might not be about money for a ring but financial security so the next time it comes up if he seems scared/nervous about it ask him, just like we want to know they want to marry us they want to know we want to be with them forever no matter how much is in the checking account

Post # 16
Member
858 posts
Busy bee

@sherryberry: lol I thought about that during one of my waiting meltdown, my bf doesnt have alot of fb friends so I am sure it wouldnt slip past his feed. does you guy use fb? what will he say? you could always change it to its complicated (right now it is for waiting bees lol)

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