Post # 1
An update to this situation:
DH and I had dinner with his parents last night and they informed us that the couple has ultimately decided not to have the ceremony and reception 2 hours apart. Awesome, right? Problem solved!
No, of course not. Nothing is ever that easy. Now the issue is that his parents (his mom, basically) still do not want to attend the ceremony even though it is close by now, and they plan on still just going to the reception. I will not get into why, just to say that there is some weird family drama on that side that I do not even fully understand. But now I want to go to both but DH thinks that it would be weird for us to go to both and his parents not to because it will make them look bad. So, basically I am supposed to just go with it and look like an ass myself because of some family drama that has nothing to do with me?
I do not know how to get through to DH on this. He knows that his mom is being a drama queen, but he feels that he cannot rock the boat. I am at the end of my rope with this situation. I love my ILs generally but this is ridiculous and I hate that I am not able to do what I feel is the right thing to do because of some bullshit drama that I do not even understand.
How on earth do I stand my ground without causing family drama WW3? Someone help!
Post # 3
Tell your husband you are going with or without him. Seriously. If he wants to be a mama’s boy and is afriad of not following his mom around that’s fine. But it doesn’t mean you have to do it too.
I really did support your previous decision. Usually I think it’s crappy to skip the ceremony but the bride and groom made it impossible for you to make it to both so that’s not your fault. But to skip it now would be really rude.
And another thing… if your MIL has such a problem with these people that she is unwilling to attend their wedding ceremony, then she should have the tact to decline and invitation to the reception as well.
Post # 4
i agree with moosey. be the bigger person. your hubby may even admire you and follow suit. if not, you did the right thing.
Post # 5
I think now that its in the same spot you definitely should go to the ceremony. I think not going to the ceremony and then showing up the reception for a free dinner is awful. If there is family drama then MIL should decline the invitation period. I don’t think you need to follow what they are doing because it will make you look bad.
Post # 6
let his parents do whatever they want. you and dh should go to the ceremony and reception.
if his parents have such a problem with the couple, why are they attending at all?
Post # 7
His parents are going to look bad regardless of whether or not you go, so the real question for your husband should be, do you want to look bad along with them? If they are going to be petty and come down on you for that, that’s their problem, imho 🙂
Post # 8
I am very much over this whole thing. I hate that grown people feel the need to act this way and that it is allowed to affect me and my decisions. I understand that I *could* go to the ceremony by myself but I am not going without my husband because that would be so weird.
Oh and his parents very much love the B&G – it is other family that they have issues with. If they did not love the couple it would not even be a question they would not go at all.
Post # 9
If they love this couple so much then they should be willing to put aside differences with other people in order to do the right thing. And if it were me, I would tell them so to their face. But I’m kind of agressive like that. And I have a good relationship with my in-laws so they could handle it.
I really don’t think it would be that weird for you to without your husband. To me it would be worth it for the principal of it. And honestly, I think if you tell your husband that you are going with or with out him, then he will realize he’s being a fool and he will go with you.
Post # 10
So is he trying to say that you always have to mimic whatever his parents do? I’m sorry but I think thats a little childish, you two are a grown couple and totally separate from his parents. You should go to both ceremony and reception and let his parents do whatever they want
Post # 11
I would go to both, just because I would be sad if someone chose not to go to my ceremony.
Post # 12
I agree with moosey as well. You should just go and tell your DH you will go with or without him. The only one looking bad (if not awful) in this siutaiton are your inlaws.All the family drama will be at the reception as well! Why attend the reception and not the ceremony? thats rocking the boat. Since you have the opportunity now to go to both I would. It may rock the boat with them a bit or maybe they will just cave in and go to the ceremony as well??
Post # 13
Can I thread jack for a moment and note that I love that you girls are calling me Moosey : ) Thread jack over.