- 3 years ago
- Wedding: July 2012
Thank you to all the bees who offered support and advice to my last post. It did blow over (rather quickly) as some bees predicted but now I’m not sure how to move forward.
Quick summary of my previous post: His stepmom (SM) called and told me about the emotional abuse inflicted on DH by his mom when he was a child and told me his dad was considering no longer talking to him. DH of course freaked out and tried to call his dad. His SM called him and said his dad had decided to not talk to him until DH stood up to his mom and told her he wouldn’t see her anymore if she didn’t stop talking about them (SM and FIL). So DH was basically told to choose. Apparently the “tipping point” that set this off was our wedding pictures. They thought there more of MIL than of them…
Monday night DH sat down and looked at the pictures and actually counted them. He realized there were definitely an even amount and at that point just let everything go. He realized they were just looking for a reason to be angry and there was nothing he could do. He sent his dad an email and told him that he looked through the pictures and didn’t see a problem.
His dad texted him back and told him not to worry about it. DH told him he was worried because of how he was treated on Sunday. FIL texted back that the air was clear. He also called and talked to DH about how bad work has been.
I asked DH if he at least apologized or acknowledged the situation. Nothing. I know it’s not my place to still be angry but I am. DH has already let it go and I’m trying to follow his cues but I’m not sure how to see them again and keep my anger in.
I’m angry that SM felt the need to tell me about DH’s childhood. That was his story to tell if he wanted to. I already knew that his mom was not a good person without those stories. I’m mad because his dad wanted him to choose and told DH (through text) to basically get out of his life. I’m mad because they put him (us) in the middle (again). I’m mad because DH went through hell Sunday and Monday. I’m mad because he didn’t apologize or even acknowledge the situation.
DH is over it and I’m glad he’s able to do that so easily but I just can’t. I’ve held it in because I know it’s not my place to be angry with them if he’s okay but I honestly can’t see myself interacting with them in the future. How do I get past this? Just feign friendliness? I know it’s not my place to say anything else to them but it’s going to be so hard to keep my mouth shut next time I see them.