Update: Divorced and Loving My New Life

posted 3 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
42538 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Glad to hear that you are doing well.

Post # 4
Member
4812 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Good for you!  Glad you’re happy with your new life.

Post # 5
Member
2562 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

Wonderful! Glad to hear things are looking up for you – hope it only gets better! 🙂

Post # 6
Member
1765 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

Im happy for you! Glad to see your doing well for yourself !

Post # 7
Member
11379 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2012

@devastatedbride:  thank you so much for the update.  yes, divorces are ugly (i’ve had 2) but at the end of it all, we find happiness.

what?  he took your ring again??  did you get it back?

i am so glad that things are going well for you.  sometimes life just throws us a curve ball and it gets us all flustered, along with every other emotion.  you seemed to have handled it with class and integrity.  good for you.  you have a great future ahead of you.  i wish you the best.

adversity doesn’t build character; it reveals it.

Post # 8
Member
2555 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

Good for you! Does your business havea  website? I’d love to visit it if you wouldn’t mind PMing me the address. 🙂

Post # 10
Member
7285 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Congrats. Marriages arent fairytales,and when partners flip on you, thank goodness there are avenues like divorce to reclaim your life. Divorce isn’t alaways a horrible thing. Thanks for the update.

Post # 11
Member
10219 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

Hi @devastatedbride: … WELCOME Back !!

So happy to hear that you are doing well.

Sad to hear that your Ex was such a pr!ck about the Divorce (I had a feeling…)

Also had a feeling that he was involved with someone else…

GOOD RIDDANCE… she can have him.  Guys like this are users, they’ll both get theirs… as they say KARMA IS A B!TCH

You my dear will do fine… I can hear the strength in your voice now and character (the latter was always there, saw that a year ago in your posts)

That which doesn’t kill you… makes you stronger !!

I hope you’ve done some counselling, or maybe some self-help…

Two great books that helped me post Divorce on the road to emotional / relationship recovery were:

Greg Behrendt’s “He’s Just Not That Into You”

and

Dr. Phil’s “Love Smart – Find the One You Want ~ Fix the One You Got”

Both of them are written by men for women, about men.  Gives you some insight into how men think… and what to look out for.  Certainly taught me a lot, I stopped going into relationships all naive, wanting, over eager (OK I’ll admit a tad desperate)

NONE of that sh!t is a good thing.  You need to be totally sure of yourself… and WHAT IT IS YOU WANT / DESERVE.  Good men are drawn like Bees to Honey (intentional WBee pun) when a women exudes confidence.

As Dr Phil say’s it is all a matter of fishing in the right pond, do that and the fish will be practically jumping into the boat.

Dating quality guys, and ONLY quality guys… and things are a zillion times better.

And DON’T GET INVOLVED PHYSICALLY TOO QUICKLY (us women are far too passionate for our own good at times)… make sure the guy ticks off a lot of the Boxes on WHAT YOU WANT before you get too involved physically.  Better to know his short-comings early on… ask a lot of Questions.

Views on Career, Extended Families, Kids, Marriage, Money, Religion, Sex, Trust, Honesty, Promises (his word), Fidelity, Porn, Boundaries, Friends (Guy time / Girl time) … lol even Chores (Male & Female roles etc)

Lots of stuff you can find out just by talking.

Mr TTR & I were friends first, and when we finally decided we’d try dating (we were BOTH Encores from 25+ year relationships, and horribly hurt & gun-shy) we used that crazy period of time when you can’t stop talking to talk about a lot of the important things… besides all the “fun stuff” (lol, you HATE BANANAS too !!)

It was sooo worth investing in that process.  Here we are 7+ Years later, and honestly we rarely have a disagreement… cause we knew from the get go where we stood on so many issues.

“This is ALL of Me, and who I am… can you accept that ?”

Hope this helps,

PS… Now that you are back to “the Hive”, don’t be a stranger here.  There is a lot more to this Community than JUST Weddings (notice they’ve taken away the Bride Graphic from The Webpage Header since you’ve been gone).  There really is a great community of women here, and a lot more found in the categores that are NOT WEDDING RELATED (NWR BOARDS).

 

Post # 13
Member
11379 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2012

@devastatedbride:  well, you certainly have the right attitude to move forward and dip your toes in the dating pool.  it seems like you have had closure with your ex and this is a step in the right direction.

it’s true what they say, when you aren’t looking, you find the one.  i had split with my ex and just started dating again and low and behold, i found my now dh in a starbucks parking lot.

good luck with everything.

Post # 15
Member
6751 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2010

I’m really glad you came back and updated for us!

Post # 16
Member
2179 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2024

@devastatedbride I know exactly how you feel “I CANNOT BELIEVE how much happier I am now than at any time ever during my relationship with him.” I felt the same way when I left my ex-husband. Not only do I have a better sense of who I am as a person but my entire attitude towards life is better. I also met my current SO of almost 2 years and couldn’t be happier!

Stay on the boards and keep us updated! I’m so happy that you’re in such a good place and YEAH to kittens!!

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