Update: Engaged and discovered pregnant yesterday- fiancé pressure to abort

posted 3 years ago in Pregnancy
Post # 4
Member
148 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@beeanonysorry:  

Be brave.  May the sun be at your back and the wind in your face.  Where there is life and love, there is always a future.

Post # 5
Member
785 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2015

@beeanonysorry:  I’m happy he’s coming around! Of course you realize he was being an asshole and you are forgiving him. That’s great. I wish you both the best!

Post # 6
Member
3097 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013 - A court...

Good luck ! I’m glad he’s coming around.

Post # 7
Member
1988 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

@beeanonysorry: That’s fantastic news, I’m so glad he came around! 🙂 I’m sure once everything sinks in you’ll both begin feeling more and more excited and less scared about the baby. 

I don’t want to rain on your parade but I think your FH definitely needs to work on his way of handling difficult situations and shocking news, I do believe he’s a good guy but what he put you through wasn’t fair! Would you two consider getting some sort of counseling together? It might be a good thing for you in lots of ways, it might even help you both prepare for the baby better.

Good luck breaking the news to his family and getting all the logistics in order. Yay, you’re getting married! 🙂 You’ll be a very happy family in about 8 months’ time, I have no doubt about it 🙂 Congratulations, I really am so happy for you 🙂 

Post # 8
Member
6510 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

I’m happy he’s coming around! Best of luck to you!

Post # 9
Member
1251 posts
Bumble bee

All the best!

Post # 10
Member
1242 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2012 - Chateau Briand

@Brittanyg20: Of course you realize he was being an asshole and you are forgiving him.” Agreed. No one is in your shoes or quiet knows everything about your relationship so NO ONE has the right to tell you you’re wrong for staying with him. If this is the right decision for you, then go for it!

@MsMeow:  +1 on counseling. Maybe right now it could be too overwhelming to look into, but it is something to consider in the months leading up to the baby being born (if you choose to keep the baby). 

Lastly, I don’t remember how far along you are, but if telling his family will be a hassle/sure to cause issues, perhaps waiting until you’re out of the first trimester and knowing everything is going well with the pregnancy might buy you time to get married, etc?

Best of luck & glad things are slowly getting better!

 

Post # 11
Member
165 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I’m glad you are talking this through and working together to anticipate the future.  I wish you all the best!

Post # 12
Member
221 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I’m so glad things are going better for you. You had a lot of people on your side and giving some good advice. I hope he realizes what he said to you and put you through was wrong and is committed to changing. Wishing you all the best and a happy and healthy pregnancy and life after 🙂

 

Post # 13
Member
3119 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I’m glad things seem to be looking up, and I’m very impressed with how you have handled this. Best wishes!

Post # 14
Member
774 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

@Ozziebee:  lol, I believe you have that saying backwards dear. I’m assuming you’re not wishing a life of hardship on OP 😛

@beeanonysorry:  I’m so glad your FI has come around. Don’t worry about pushing the dad thing too hard right now. you guys have plenty of time before the baby gets here. Don’t stop doing the things you do together as a couple. Your FI is probably scared about everything that’s going to change, but you can reassure him that not everything is going to change and you are still the same woman he fell in love with. Good luck! Wishing you a happy and healthy 9 months!

Post # 15
Member
1666 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2015

@beeanonysorry:  Whatever decision you make will be much easier with your FI supporting you. I’m very glad to hear he is calming down and behaving more rationally. I second the idea that counseling may be a good idea at some point, if only to help you both understand how the other thinks and communicates. And I do think that quietly getting married before telling his family maybe a good way to try and minimize any shame they feel at the news (I won’t pretend to understand that way of thinking, but I’m also not going to minimize how they may feel either).

I wish the very best for both of you moving forward. Thanks for letting us know you’re ok!

Post # 16
Member
419 posts
Helper bee

Why would you need to be married in an embassy? Is that a thing I don’t really understand because I married another american? I figured most countries would recognize other countries marriages.

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