- 8 years ago
- Wedding: March 2010
I wanted to thank everyone for their advice on my post yesterday and provide an update. (http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/fils-and-our-future-kids-need-advice-please)
FI and I discussed and resolved the issue last night. Reading all of the bees’ opinions, which were split probably 60%/40%, was so helpful in understanding FI’s point of view but also becoming more confident in how I feel.
In our prior discussions of the relationship FMIL might have with our kids, we were focused on who was right and who was wrong. But after posting here, it became obvious that there is no right and wrong; this is one of those issues where every couple has to decide on their personal comfort level. Just like there’s no “right” or “wrong” in deciding whether you’re comfortable with strip clubs, spending holidays separately, etc.
I explained to FI that I would want our kids to be close with all of their grandparents, but wouldn’t be comfortable with feeling like an outsider in my own family. We discussed pretty specifically what we were both okay with. I feel so much better about this now after worrying about it for a long time. Still sad that coming to my shower / mother’s day brunch is not something my FMIL cares to do, but happy that FI and I are on the same page.