- 4 years ago
- Wedding: December 2017
About a month ago, FI and his mother got into a huge fight which led them to not talk…..see original post here http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/ugh-so-frustrating-fi-and-his-mom-got-in-a-huge-fight#axzz2m1XzuDSb
She had not spoken to him this whole time but would tag me in a few things or share things to my facebook….and she sent me a link to a wedding show…..so I didn’t figure she could hold a grudge forever.
His aunt (stepdad’s sister) invited us to her house for Thanksgiving because she loves us. I was probably more worried than FI because they haven’t talked yet and I didn’t know how it was going to go. I was sooo nervous. After much discussion, FI decided we should for sure go. It would be such a fun time and their family is so great. I was still nervous, and FI was too but I think he was doing okay.
So we get there and he said “Hello mother.” and she says “Who me? You wouldn’t ever know I’m your mother being that I haven’t heard from you at all.” Uhhh hello the fight was her fault….and regardless – something’s gotta give! Anyways he didn’t really respond to that. We talked to some of the relatives and then sat on the couch to watch the football game. She then says “Where’s Steve? I thought you would bring him too.” in a really snotty voice. That was his friend who he was fishing with one time she wanted him to drop everything and come help her. Again, he didn’t respond to that either but just looked at her and looked away. She didn’t mention anything else until the end but during the time we were there, we were able to hold conversations with her.
When we were going to leave, she made another comment and he just brushed it off and said “No mother that’s not how it goes.” and she let it go. Then she asked if I worked Christmas (I’m a nurse….picked up day shift xmas eve and work overnights xmas day) and then asked if we had anything going on the weekend after Christmas….I said I was off and she asked if we would like to come over that Saturday for Christmas.
I view this as a huge step in the right direction for someone who holds HUGE grudges and refuses to ever apologize. I asked Jeremy what he thought when we were driving home and he said he viewed today as “a test” to see what would happen and go from there. He also stated that the beginning he didn’t think it would go well but she shaped up. For the last month, he has put her on the “probably not inviting to the wedding” list…..and this was a test to see if she would act like a brat in front of a bunch of family to see if he would want to have her at the wedding. I think (and so does he) that she will slowly continue to be able to be civil. I sure hope that is the case, because I think she will regret not being there for her only child’s wedding. Either way, I was planning on discussing with Fi to at least send an invite even if we know they would respond no because we still reached out….for me that would be peace of mind. BUT I think tonight this was a great step in the right direction and we won’t have to worry about inviting them just for the thought of it so his mom couldn’t throw it in our face.
No idea what I was looking for throughout this post. 🙂