Update from 'Costly Bach Party'

posted 4 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
1184 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

@Skittles131:  I would tell her the truth! She can’t lay out money with out saying anything to you, then expect you to cover it. I am a grad-student-bride-to-be as well. Money gets tight! Chances are a lot of people will back out anyway because of the cost.

Planning the shower right before the bach party was not a good idea (even if there are OOT guests). It adds up so quickly! 


Post # 4
9920 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

She keeps bugging you because you don’t respond.  Be upfront with her and say, “I’m really sorry, Heather, but I cannot afford this right now.  I’ll see you at the shower!”

Post # 6
2211 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

How annoying.  $30 seems like a lot to me for “incidentals.”  In your situation, I’d be cool with chipping in for a bottle of wine (presumably for the benefit of the bride, since you don’t drink), but this woman is just so pushy.  I would’ve bowed out of this bachelorette party, too.

I threw my sister’s bachelorette party, and it ended up being $35 a person for us to rent a giant hotel suite, but anyone who was just coming to hang out (and not stay overnight) only had to pay for their own dinner.  I paid for my sister’s dinner and party decorations (which were minimal:  one homemade penis shaped cake) on my own.

Post # 7
1839 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

curious-was the $30 supposed to only cover you or was it supposed to go toward covering the bride’s share of things, too?


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