(Closed) Update from no. 4 on the list- seems like soon but I’m too scared to hope…

posted 7 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
1325 posts
Bumble bee

Aww. I can understand why you would be scared to be hopeful! I would be too! 

It really sounds like since he “messed up” he has stepped up his game and is getting fired up to make it happen.

If you can I would try and remain… neutral about it. Try to have an attitude of “If it happens that would be nice, but if not I will be ok.”So much easier said than done, I know, but having a slightly lukewarm attitude would probably be best for your sanity. If you get super excited and it doesn’t happen you will be devastated. However, if you go to the other end of the spectrum and are in misery because you’re sure it won’t happen…. well you will be very unhappy until it does and then if it doesn’t you’ll feel justified in feeling like it’s never going to happen. Neither of those are good!

Post # 4
Member
121 posts
Blushing bee

ooooh, what a bad boy  LOL  Hopefully he really did/does have a plan!!  You are right with how long it could take, so I wouldn’t be TOO dissapointed if it doesn’t happen by Easter…but maybe… was it a ring he could put deposit on and finish paying before he picked it up? that would’ve worked,  or a credit card…but if not, then I’d be curious to know what his plan is…haha  Is he moonlighting as a chippendale dancer  hahahahaha  πŸ™‚ 

As far as the feeling going away once engaged…SOOOO true…  I got to a bad space right before we got engaged, Not even sure I wanted it anymore, etc…. but I did, I was just hurt it was taking so freakin long… I was angry and bitter  haha  And now we are back to “us” again, minus the drama of waiting…and it really is wonderful πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚  And I have a beautiful symbol of our love to look at everyday  bling bling  hah πŸ™‚ 

Hang in there girl, it’s coming πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚

Post # 5
Member
3302 posts
Sugar bee

Yikes I hope it is coming soon- I can understand the misery of it all. I will say though, I am QUITE disappointed in him (and I don’t even know him) for getting a lump sum of money and spending it on himself…. quite selfish to say especially since you have both went ring shopping and etc. When it was clear that my then SO was getting a HUGE sum of money back from his income tax refund, I gently but firmly stated that I would be disappointed if the money he received did not go toward a ring (as according to him that was the only hold up). My SO didn’t need to propose, however I did expect that he would be using some of the money he received for that purchase and proposed whenever he was ready. He did not disappoint- he received the money on Friday, bought my ring and proposed the next day and is now getting even more money to buy almost any other gadget he wants.
I really hope this doesn’t set a “tone” in regards to putting his wants/needs first (if money was the only things stopping him from getting engaged). Along with a proposal, I feel you are owed a bit more for having you wait longer due to “his bad”.

And I second the whole feeling of being us minus the waiting drama. Not much has changed since we got engaged besides the continual wedding talks and him being even more considerate to my feelings and operating like a team (instead of acting “single” and putting his needs/wants first).

Post # 6
Member
363 posts
Helper bee

Wow you’ve been so courageous through all this!  I can totally understand the feelings of hurt you must’ve felt when he started buying all this stuff, and not the ring that you two had designed.  For some reason it seems to me that the majority of men take longer than women to move towards engagment/marriage.  It’s like, they will get there some day, so why take so long!!? πŸ˜‰

I’d be willing to bet that your SO is getting closer, especially with the dream and stuff, he’s obviously thinking about it.

 

Post # 7
Member
347 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@MrsT2b: I don’t know anything about you except what I’ve read here  so if i’m really off base I am sorry. However,  I think you may need to ask yourself if he is READY to get married. We all say silly things when we begin a relationship because we are caught up in the fun of it, but to me it does not sound like he is mature and committed enough for marriage. You don’t want to push him before he is ready.

I know how hard it is to wait but maybe you two should have a talk and see where he his–without any pressure.

 

GL

Post # 8
Member
42 posts
Newbee

Oh man! I know that feeling of watching him buy everything BUT the ring it’s horrible especially when he admits he could’ve bought the ring but didn’t. I too am in that hurt stage especially when he knows how bad I want it and is taking forever to propose.

My advice is to try not to put a date on it because if it doesn’t happen you’ll be even more upset. I’m speaking from experience and still working on being patient. Whenever I thought it would happen and it didn’t I would be so devastated that I would try and reevaluate our whole relationship and would end up fighting with him which didn’t make him want to propose any more quickly-go figure!

So as your bee sister I hope hope hope he will do it by easter but try not to obsess over it. Just “BEE” happy that you have someone who you love and who loves you too!

Post # 14
Member
3302 posts
Sugar bee

Well I am rooting for you- please do check in often, I would like to read your proposal story sooner than soon *hugs*

Post # 15
Member
347 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@MrsT2b: Good! I’m glad thats the case then. I know its hard to wait as i had to too ( five years! hahah) but it just makes the engagement time that much more special!

Don’t give up. He may just suprise you!

The topic ‘Update from no. 4 on the list- seems like soon but I’m too scared to hope…’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors