- 3 years ago
- Wedding: August 2015
Receiving all your kindness, wisdom and help on my old post about this was so helpful and I wanted to say thank you. the kindness of so many women reaching out through internet anonymity was very helpful to me when I was feeling so much pain and loneliness. I felt I owe you all a bit of an update.
it was FIs sons birthday recently. FI woke up crying. I suggested we go down to the shops and buy some cheap toys, to wrap up as presents and leave in the spare room for now. Hopefully we will be able to give them to him someday.
Sadly, baby momma has had no further contact with us, since fi was stood up for their last meeting. He tries to call her every second day, with no answer. He has also tried to fb her and it shows us she’s seen the messages, but chosen not to reply. We dont know why. fi sent her a message saying he wanted to stop playing games and meet his son. She sent back something along the lines of she couldn’t deal with this right now and nothing since. It’s been two months I think.
the only exception to this was getting a message out of the blue at 8.30pm on a Friday night saying she had the boy for the next day and forgotten to buy him medication and could FI please give her some money to pay for it? we have never been given an indication that he is sick. FI was at work over an hour away so said there was a 24 hr pharmacist near him, he would get what was needed and drive it to her that night when he finished work. She told him not to worry about it then.
We spoke to a lawyer, and since FI is not the recognised father in the courts, he will have to prove paternity before anything else. That alone will cost $2000, of which we dont have right now. from there, there would be more court fees, and no promises of anything since the courts have the best interests of the child at heart and my FI is a stranger to him.
fi has decided not to pursue this any further. He is heartbroken, but we could sell everything we own and still not have this kind of money. this has divided his family, the ones who have been involved in the process are on his side, but the ones who have not seen custody battles do no believe its so hard.
FI will continue to call regularly and hope she will decide to change her mind.
i Will continue to support FI in whatever decisions he makes, and our relationship has survived this ordeal and we have come through the other side stronger than ever. Seeing a sensitive side to my tough macho man has made me love him even more, and he has expressed even stronger feelings for me, going through something so tough by his side. To see my family, even the very conservative ones stick by him shows me how well he has done at becoming a part of my family. I am still so proud of him.
thanks for listening bees, I hope to be able to update with some happier news in the future.