Post # 1
Just an update since I have not posted in a long time, the bees here were so helpful when I was dealing with the emotions that came with my marriage/commitment fearing boyfriend of 3.5 years. I gave it one final go and we agreed that by July we would be engaged, well, like the other two times we had agreed on a date, it came and went without anything, (we didn’t live together) so on August 2nd, I ended our relationship. He was upset but not surprised, the subject had become a bone of contention and unhappiness and had spilled over into every facet of our relationship. I won’t lie, it was hell for a few days after the breakup, but surprisingly I have felt a sense of relief mostly since then and have actually had no interest in staying in touch with him although he has reached out a few times, I politely told him I wanted space and needed to get my bearings which is what I have been doing. No dating, just focusing on me and it has felt great, all of the negative energy I was feeling from that relationship, all the stress of not knowing what my future held with him, the agonizing limbo, not feeling worthy enough of a proposal, is gone. There are days I get pangs of sadness and missing fun times together of course, but I know deep down he was never going to give me the kind of commitment I wanted and had been promised to me. Starting over again at 37 wasn’t what I had planned, but I am at the point where I am looking forward to it and to dating again when I’m ready. I am even planning on moving to a new city which I am excited about. I just wanted to share since I know there are other bees in the same situation I was in and wanted to say that there is indeed life on the other side of a “walk date” if that is the decision you are faced with.
Post # 2
Good for you looks like you did the right thing 🙂
Post # 3
You are so strong! I wish you the best!
Post # 4
- Wedding: October 2017 - Somewhere outside in Northern Virginia
(Edited for content)
Hugs. Sorry to hear about your ex. But…what doesn’t kill us makes us stronger!
I hope you continue being happy. I also know how tough it is to break it off and then pull up your roots, as I went through a similar situation a few years ago with my ex. I am now with someone else, but in between the relationships, I lived on my own for the first time. So it was a bit scary at first, LOL. But…personal growth often comes when we step outside our comfort zones.
Just wanted to say good on you for stepping up for yourself, and moving on to bigger and better things. And I hope it just gets better from here!
Post # 5
good for you! I started over again at 39 (after a divorce) so I can totally relate to the feeling of being lighter. It’s scary but terribly exciting all at the same time!
Post # 6
KatertotATL: Good on you for sticking to your guns and doing something to move toward your own personal happiness! All the best in the future!
Post # 7
Good to hear you are moving on in a healthy way.
Post # 8
I’m a new bee and I dont know your backstory (and I havent shared mine really) but I really needed to read this.
I’m sorry it didnt work out, but you sound like a strong person with a lot of amazing opportunities coming your way.
Post # 9
GOod for you Girl! Be true to the things you want and need in life 🙂
Post # 10
I’m really happy you posted this! Such an encouraging story. I’m so proud of you!
Post # 11
KatertotATL: Thank you for sharing with us. I’m one of those people who gets stuck in the right now and fearing the furture, and I’m sure a lot of Bees really needed to read your story. Good luck and best wishes to you. Please come back to us again if you do find someone who is right for you, but until then, best wishes with the move to the new city and good job focusing on you and what was best for you!
Post # 12
KatertotATL: Girl, you dodged a bullet.
I know there are a lot of anti-ultimatum Bees who would disagree with me on this. But I feel strongly that breaking it off, or just giving notice that you plan to break it off if a proposal doesn’t come by XYZ date — is an excellent way to free yourself from Waiting Hell, take control of your life again and — coincidentally — also find out how the guy would react at the prospect of losing you.
When someone really loves you, he won’t let you go. He will follow you to the ends of the earth. His love for you and his desire to have you by his side is more important to him than any anxiety or doubts he may have about tying the knot and making things legal.
If he lets you walk out of his life, he never loved you enough to begin with. It’s ALWAYS better to find these things out sooner than later. Congratulations on not wasting more months and years of your life waiting and hoping for a proposal that evidently was never in the cards.
I was watching Steve Harvey recently and he said something like, “You’ll never meet Mr. Right as long as you’re wasting time on Mr. Wrong.”
Like you, I ended a dead-end relationship in my 30s. I didn’t end up meeting my DH until I was in my 40s. I hope it happens for you sooner than it did for me. Keep a positive attitide, hold your head high, be proud of yourself and expect good things to happen!
Way to go!!
Post # 13
- Wedding: February 2015 - Chapel on Base
I love women who put themselves first. Good luck to you in everything!
Post # 14
So nice of you to share. I wish you only happiness
Post # 15
You are a strong woman who will do well in life. I wish more waiting Bees had that strength.
What is the point of moaning when SEVERAL deadlines pass?
Might as well just accept that the man doesn’t want to get married and move on.