UPDATE – Male fertility issues – ready to walk away from this marriage

posted 3 years ago in TTC
Post # 3
Member
318 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

Good for you! You deserve happiness and a life partner. You will find the right person for you. 😀 good luck!

Post # 4
Member
4043 posts
Honey bee

@jaylinjo:  You made the decision that was best for you and your future. I am sure it is incredibly difficult, but you will get through it. Out of curiousity, if your husband were to change his mind/open his mind to different options, now that you are officially leaving, do you think you would go back?

Post # 5
Member
3693 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I’m sorry you’re going through this. I think he’s being incredibly pig-headed about his feelings on IVF, etc.

Post # 6
Member
1715 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

O I really hoped you would have a better update 🙁 I’m so sorry he wouldn’t even discuss your wants and needs.  To flat out say he would file the divorce papers is just awful, I feel like he left the marriage and not you.  He was the one who wouldn’t fight for you, so there is no reason to stay hoping he will change his mind and be a husband to you.  I’m glad you are doing what is right for you and I truly wish you happiness in your life.  I’m sure one day you will make a great mother to your future child and I hope you find a man who is willing to fight for parenthood as much you are.  Goodluck bee!!!!!

Post # 7
Member
55 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I think you approached this terrible situation with grace and maturity and made the best decision.  I wish you the best of luck in the future and hope everything works out for you

Post # 8
Member
871 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

@jaylinjo:  It sounds like you made the right choice for you and your husband. You both seem pretty firm on where you stand and I am sorry you were forced to make such a hard decision. I also wonder if your husband changed his mind now that he realizes you are leavimg and would go to counseling would you or do you feel you are 100% done? Either way I hope you both find some peace after this and you both find happiness again. 

Post # 9
Member
1892 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@jaylinjo:  I really did wish that the outcome would be different.. But it seems like youare the best decision for you. I honestly give you soooo much credit for not being more angry about him delaying everything!

Post # 10
Member
281 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I’m so sorry you are having to go through this, but you will have fewer regrets than if you stayed. You will be an amazing mother to some very lucky child, hopefully with a true life partner.

Post # 11
Member
1947 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I’m so sorry you and your husband couldn’t work this out.  This makes me very sad.  Coming from the opposite angle, I would be opposed to trying IVF for all the craziness it puts your body through.  It’s awesome for most couples but I’ve done my research and it’s not for me.  My husband and I are TTC right now.  If for some reason either of us have issues and we can’t get pregnant without the aided help, I hope he doesn’t leave me for not being open-minded about ivf.

Post # 12
Member
584 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

On your previous thread I was hoping that you’d go ahead with TTC despite his misgivings and if that was a dealbreaker for him, so be it. I still really hope you find happiness and become a mother!

However reading this, I can’t help but also hope that given some time he is able to calm down, and come around…it seems like a lot for him to process all at once, in terms of his medical issues, his fertility, and losing his wife! It must seem like it’s all falling apart so quickly.

I absolutely agree that you deserve to be treated better, and you know him best, so you’re able to assess whether this is really his mental attitude or he’s just freaking out for a day or two and will come around and be willing to be a good partner.

Post # 13
Member
3200 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

@jaylinjo:  ***Hugs***  You are making the best decision for you.  I’d do the same thing in your position.

Post # 14
Member
205 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I’m sorry that you’re going through this. Good for you for making the difficult decision that will ultimately make you happy and fulfilled. Best of luck in The future. 

Post # 15
Member
1253 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

@jaylinjo:  Thanks for the update, and sorry it was not a happier one. Best of luck to you! Were you able to tell himv all the things you outlined in your last paragraph? I just want to make sure he doesn’t have an excuse to go around thinking “oh woe is me, my wife chose babies over me” when it was really his own actions that were to blame.

Post # 16
Member
1506 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

@jaylinjo:  I am so SO sorry it had to come to this. If in a few days or weeks he decides that he is willing to adopt or use a sperm donor, would you be willing to take him back? Or is there absolutely no chance anymore? Again, I am so sorry and I was really hoping that he would have a change of heart and realize that he was being  unreasonable.

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