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Awww! Glad it's working out. We may end up in that boat too, but luckily at FI's house the upstairs & downstairs are split like an appt.
So glad it is working out. Some of our good friends were living with her parents to save money for their house. They are now in escrow and we are so excited for them. I'm sure it will be worth it.
So glad to hear it! You've got to feel good about saving money too :)
@pmerr -- that's how we are - this is an in-law suite with it's own kitchen, bathroom, washer/dryer, entrance, etc! it's totally great and I honestly rarely see his family!
@duckling - that's so great for them -- we're hoping that as soon as I get a job we can get a house house house!
I found this post very interesting..I read your previous post. I will be in the same boat next year. I am currently living with my boyfriend of 6 years and by next year we would have spent two years on rent due to schooling. We are deciding to get married Winter of 2011 and therefore between next summer and winter of 2011 we will be living with his parents in a separate apartment(kind of similar to what you discussed) due to lack of money. We want to live with them for a bit to save up for a house. I only want to live there for the year leading upto our wedding but my bf thinks we should live with them after the wedding as well. My issue is that whole thing about eating together and them expecting us to be with them. His parents are the best. I love them with all my heart. However, in his house everyone is expected to eat together at a certain time and my fear is that they will either pop in unannouced or they will expect us to come up and eat with them. I am glad its working out so far. However, I know ALOT of people who were/are in the same situation and it did not turn out well. Hopefully it will work out for you and i pray it will work out for me too :)
I remember your old post about your concerns, so great that it's working out! Your apartment sounds nice, and it's a bonus that it's a great cash saver!
I too am living with my fiance's parents. It is actually so much better than I thought it would be!
At first, it was only going to be temporary until we found an apartament (I recently immigrated to the States), but everyone is getting along so well that his parents suggested that we stay until after the wedding....this way, we can get married, pay off our student loans, and have a deposit to buy our own house.
I think that it's a bit funny how in America there is this stigma about living with your parents. I am originally from Poland, where a lot of young couples live with their parents, particularly if you are the first born son. It's just a way that the parents help the young couple, and the young couple takes care of the parents later. In North America, it seems that if you live with your parents people think that you must be either irresponsible or broke. This is not the case for us. I think that it is smart for us to accept help from the people who love us ( we are very lucky) and want us to have a solid financial foundation before we go out on our own.
@becky -- We had conversations with his parents (and my own who now live less than 10 minutes from us) about expectations. We had been totally independent of them for 4 years so the idea of "having" to be home at a certain time for meals or conversation or anything was just too much for us. So we sat them down and just said, we'd love to come to dinner, if invited every once in a while .... but that ther would be NO daily dinners, NO once a week meetings ... let things happen as they happen. And they have! We've been here for 5 weeks and only had dinner with them once, it was a lovely Sunday evening dinner. if you're going to do it, just be sure to set expectations with them -- but also, be sure to set them with yourselves to. decide BEFORE you move in when you are going to move out. For us we have a 6-9 month deadline. Plain and simple. But we also said we would reevaluate at 6 months and if we are not ready to move then we are not ready. Just talk about everything before a decision is made.
@mrs DG and cali - umm YES, huge money saver, it's awesome. we are super lucky.
@cautious - it is very interesting how cultures are so different. I'm not sure why it's a stigma but I definitely do get "embarrassed" at times when I tell people we live with his parents, it's nothing to be ashamed of - saving money and being close to family - we're lucky!
I am happy your situation is going so well!
We are currently living with my fiance's sister and brother in law.He is the baby and the only boy with 4 sisters. They all live within a 3-block radius, in a small town that is an hour away from the life I had.
His family is over every night. There is very little privacy and little respect for our space and property. His sisters let their children invade and play in our room and storage room while we are not home. My fiance tries his best to remind everyone to keep out, ask permission and respect our stuff (yeah, we have a broken PS3 and 2 broken ipods now).
It's been 4 months and we have it our max. We saved what we could and are apartment hunting now. I wish it had went better.
@champagne - ugh! that sounds like it didnt go as planned ... i'm so sorry! but, looking back on it, i bet it'll be worth it, you'll have your own place soon!!
Yay! I currently have friends that are living with parents while saving for a house and it's TOTALLY working out for them great! I even stayed there on my last trip to LA... they have a great situation worked out and are making real progress towards owning their first home... something that looked so far away when they were sinking their money into rent! Congrats and here's to your next big financial goal being reached soon!
We're currently living with my mom too. People make comments to us, like it's a bad thing, but it works for us and we are saving money.
I'm sure this will get you a lot closer to your dream house/wedding!
@humarock-yeah, hopefully we'll keep to ourselves if we end up up there. I'm hoping we don't & can afford a place, but it ouwld be nice to save $$$$
Glad it's working out so well for you! And I LOVE Friendly's, too! I lived in Boston for a while and my FI and I would go there occasionally (he even wanted to drive to Western Mass to go to the original). We are going to be in a similar situation but we are actually moving in with MY parents AFTER the wedding. We are going to do this because we are currently living in a different state from both sets of parents (FI is in law school). Our wedding is going to be in my homestate (where my parents still live) right after my FI finishes school. We were planning on moving back to my homestate after the wedding and we will have just waaaaayyyy too much going on with him graduating, the wedding, his bar exam, finding jobs for both of us that we just didn't want the extra burden of finding a place to live. Plus we will be way in debt due to his school, so we figure it's best to live with my parents (his parents live in a different state) to save some money.
I don't think there is anything wrong with living with your parents/family! Honestly, our goal was to save for our house and wedding. We were able to save above what we need for the wedding so it was worth it. And that was just in 4-months.
My experience may not have been the best but I would still tell anyone to move in with family, if they can. It is worth it :)
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It's been forever since I've been bouncing around the boards but I know a lot of people gave me great advice when it came to the potential move in with the in-laws about two months ago ... and I'm back to say, one month into it, it's not that bad at all!
The *first* night my fiance and I were running out to Friendly's (heck yes I love friendlys) cause we were tired from all the moving, and as we were walking by the door to the main house, he popped his head in and was like "HEY!! We're going out to DINNER!!!" and we got to the car, I turned, looked at him, and said "Nope, not happening ever again" and he totally got it. Ha, it took him a few days to realize that he's not living at his parents house as a kid, but as an adult ... but since then it's been really really nice. Totally fine, the apartment is great, we're saving money (bonus!) and it hasn't been bad at all.
Thanks all for your help!