Weddingbee boards

And guess what?! Now she isnt even going to attend.  Why? Dont ask me I have no idea whatsoever.  She keeps telling my brother that there is drama so she wont look guilty about not being in my wedding nor coming.  Her son which is my nephew was suppose to be my ring boy, I asked him a while back when I first started planning and of course he said 'yes'.  I am his favorite aunt and have always been the best to him.  Since me and my sister havent talked in months, I had to call him to get his measurements for his tux, he told me he would get fitted at the mall over the weekend and let me know. He was very excited to be a part of my day.   Anyways, my mother called my sister to tell her to make sure she allows my nephew to be in my wedding even though we arent on good terms.  She started freaking out to my mother, telling her my nephew never even wants to be in my wedding.  He is 12 years old and has no reason NOT to! She is making shit up and she's fake and im so sick of it!!! she is causing this big dramatic argument via email (she loves to handle things over email because she cant handle face to face) saying to me that her and her wonderful husband and son WILL NOT be attending my disgusting day! Can you believe that! Because I cannot, I cant believe just a few months ago I was in her wedding and helped planned her shower and bachelorette night for her and she is going to pull this crap on me and now pull my nephew out of my wedding.  Im so upset but trying to stay focused on my wedding, its in 3 months and it just seems like she is just trying her best to make me miserable! And she knows her not coming to my wedding will make me sad and she doesnt even give a crap

Thanks Sprag! I can definately push them away from me now and cut all contact with them so I can focus and be happy.  Im tired of giving so much to everyone, especially my family and then being turned on.  It isnt fair, I have to understand that not everyone is the same, everyone is different. It is what it is but I just feel its very wrong to take my nephew out of the wedding.  I mean, if it was me doing that with my daughter I would never hear the end of it.  I am so glad I am experiencing this right now in my life, now I can choose who I can live with and live without

I agree with spraguebride about ending the fight, moving on, and coming to terms with the fact that neither will likely be a part of the wedding.  The day might not be easier and maybe not better (she could show up and cause a scene all day, you know, that would be worse), but perhaps it will give you time to focus on the things you can control.

I also have sisters and neither have acted the way I treated them during their engagement/wedding.  Like you I feel like I give and give and get nothing in return.  If you been so fortunate to not have this occur in your family, I think it is very difficult to understand what it is like to be in this situation.  I'm working on coming to peace with the fact that I nothing I say or do will change them and its time to better focus on how I respond to this and I hope you can do the same.  Take the focus off the "if it were me doing this" because you wouldn't be in those shoes.  I wish you much luck in finding peace and moving forward.

It's hard and there isn't really anything that most can say, but I'll share my story:

I have 1 sister. She and I weren't close growing up, The day after I got engaged she asked if her son was my ring boy. I told her no because we weren't having a ring boy. She then asked if she was my MOH. Ummm, no! So she got off the phone and told my mom that I said she wasn't in the wedding. No, I said she wasn't my MOH, but I wanted her to be my BM.  She backed out about 4 months later, citing financial reasons, but bought a boat the day before backing out...and told me about the boat.  Throughout my engagement she threatened not to come, but her fiance promised they'd be there. 2 days before the wedding my mom tells her I need to know if she's coming. She says no.  We only had 20 guests, and my sis lived 3 1/2 hours away, and there were other people coming from her town who she could have driven with/stayed with. It wasn't important enough for her to be bothered...and she's my TWIN.  Oh, and when she got engaged, about 2 months before my wedding, she was complaining to me about a friend who was being selfish...I had a hard time listening to that. Now, I find a hard time talking to her........ Ugh.

Good luck. The important people will be there for you!

My eyes are just filling up with tears right now, thanks so much you all for your kind words.  If we werent close to begin with, it wouldnt bother me as much I dont think, but the fact that we talked on the phone every single day and were tight as can be, its just shocking to me.  I really hope she can still make it to the wedding

@soontobe- How do I block her emails? I've never had to do that before.  I would love to do that because everytime she comes around it takes a big toll on me for days, my FI can see the sadness in me and he feels so bad for me but I cant help but to show my emotions.  I try so hard to forget about it but I just cant.  She had her day in August and thats all the matters to her, nobody else's life is good enough for her and thats just how it is. She only does favors for people on her own time and would never go out of her way to help a family member, ever! So sorry to snap, I get all worked up about it!  I will call my nephew on the weekend when he is with his dad and talk to him, I feel bad him and my daughter are the same age and they are best friends since they were born, it just crushes me

@mrskessler- There is no way I can meet up with her now and talk with her, after all the hurtful things she had said to me I just cannot forgive her.  Her reason for not wanting to come is because she said there is just so much drama about my wedding because my mother called her to make sure my nephew was still in it.  All my bridesmaids and my daughter think its ridiculous that she's blaming it on drama when there is no drama at all.  The only time there is drama is when she opens her mouth or shows up in the picture.  I honestly dont think I can ever forgive her especially if she doenst show up at the wedding.  I check the mailbox everyday hoping to get her RSVP and hoping she will grow up and actually go. If not I will never speak to her again, like someone else said, she is toxic to me and just gives me stress so why have someone like that in my life?

My wedding isnt a game, she cant just say she isnt going to show up then show up because she wont have a plate to eat for her or her husband.  She should know to RSVP and if she isnt coming, I hope she keeps it that way. All the money I spent for her bachelorette party, I had to put 300 towards that night, 200 for bridal shower and almost 200 for dress and shoes.  When she got married she didnt include me or my mother in with getting her make up done or hair done but instead decided to do that with her in-laws instead. Me and my mom was hurt by that but obviously she doesnt acknowledge other people's feelings. Im so emotional today, just had an argument with some woman at the supermarket because all this stress just builds up inside of me, oh gosh, sorry had to vent!

I just wanted to say how sorry I am that you're going through this. A little while before my wedding my sister betrayed me, stabbed me in the back and then tried to pretend like I she didn't do anything at all. Then she left me a really nasty message on my voice mail right before I was to walk down the aisle... so I can relate to having a shitty sister. I don't have much advice except to just let it go. I cut off all contact with her and she is no longer part of my life (there's so much more to the story, but I won't hijack the thread.) I think sometimes, no matter how painful it is, you need to remove the toxic folks from your life.

@soon2bee- I have yahoo, im traumatized everyday when I check my emails, scared there will be more dramatic emails from her or my brother and it will just so easily ruin my day, im totally happy without them in my life right now, my family use to be so close but now we are tearing apart from each other, I never ever thought this would ever happen between me and my sister.  It felt good today to wake up and know everyday is making me a stronger individual, I used to be so sensitive and always apologizing for other people's actions, I thank my FI for making me the woman I am today