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Holy cow... the truth comes out.
After a long-winded discussion that lasted hours, I found out that SO's parents don't like me because I have an autistic child. It started with discovering that SO was doing T-day at his parent's house. Without inviting me. The minute he found out I would have my son for T-day, I was suddenly disinvited.
I got it out of him that after the first day I met his parents, his father cornered him and told him that my son was a demon child because his father is Muslim (I am not) and he is also autistic. He said God had a plan when he made my son autistic. I felt like I had been kicked in the stomach 10 times. IT BROKE MY HEART TO HEAR SOMEONE SPEAK THAT WAY OF MY CHILD. They never even met him!
Should I mention that SO's mom is a special education pre-school teacher? My son is 5 years old and high functioning.
What made things worse is that SO is not/did not defend me. Him going to his parent's without me is not defending me. If any of my parents had the gall to say that about my SO, I would not step foot in their house again until they sincerely apologized.
SO suggested that I start spending more time with his family so they can "grow to like me". I told SO that I don't audition. I meet people, act pleasantly, and if they don't like me, I don't bother trying to win them over.
I broke up with him for not respecting me and my son. My son and I are doing our own Thanksgiving with people who love and accept us.
I'm not kidding. My relationship with SO was AMAZING. We told each other we loved each other. He told me on Monday that I was his soul mate, and he has never felt this way toward a girl before.
I guess his father's opinion is more important than ME AN MY SON.
:(
OMG, I'm so so sorry! What an awful thing for his parents to say. And I can't believe your FI didn't stick up for you. :(
wow - im so so sorry that your child (and you) were attacked this way by their backward attitude and the man that says he loves you and is suppose to be your main supporter didnt man up. im pretty speachless right now to be honest *hugs*
Oh my goodness! I can't believe anyone would act this way. I have an autistic nephew and he is the best. So sorry to hear that this is happening. (hugs)
I look up to you for doing the right thing , in this extremely difficult and unfair circumstance.
I wish you nothing but the best for you and your son!
Stay strong!
That's horrible! I'm so sorry you had to go though this. Has he tried apologizing to you for all this?
I'm glad you have people in your life who truly accept you and your son.
I'm sorry that those people are complete morons. As a mother myself, I understand. If anyone says anything about my son, even jokingly I lose a little bit of respect for them. I think you did the right thing though. Your fiance should love him like he is his own, and if he can't stand up for him like he is his own son, then it shows what the future will hold. Your son is lucky to have a mother like you.Good luck, and god bless.
Oh my god I am absolutely speechless right now. What they said would be absolutely unforgiveable in my eyes. I'm so sorry...you and your son are 100% better off without their toxic attitudes in your lives.
Oh my god! I can't believe someone would actually say that! That just blows my mind! And it shocks me even more that your SO didn't stand up for you! You obviously dont deserve that. I wouldn't give him the time of day!! Good for you for standing up for yourself and your child with breaking up with SO. I am sorry this happened to you.
@Mrs. Harmony: I am so, so sorry. This is absolutely heartbreaking. You are such a wonderful mom for standing strong with your son. You have a tremendous sense of self, values and convictions and that must be a wonderful example for your child. This Thanksgiving, I'm thankful that people like you exist!
That is just horrible. I totally respect you for taking a stand and not letting someone disrepect your son that way. You certainly shouldnt have to audition or seek the approval of someone with such skewed views of the world. They sound like awful people.
That is horrible! I'm so sorry! Good for you for standing up for yourself and your son. No one deserves to be treated like that.
I'm so sorry. Good thing you talked to him about your concerns and good for you standing up for your family. You are a strong woman who deserves a lot better.
@Mrs. Harmony: How appalling. Children with special needs are SUCH a blessing. They are a lesson in patience and unconditional love. I volunteer with the Miracle League and I can truly say that I have never felt so much joy as I've felt surrounded by those children. It is utterly disgusting to hear someone say something so horrible about a defenseless, undeserving child. You absolutely did the right thing. You don't need that in your OR your son's life. Good for you.
I had a feeling something was up... :(
It's disgusting and heartless and I hope you heal from this horror.
You did the right thing. You are 100% right-- you do not need to audition or beg for anyone to like you. If he doesn't respect you now, he won't ever respect you. You're setting a good example for your son on self-respect and choosing your friends wisely I'd say.
This is shocking. I can't even begin to understand what goes on in these peoples heads. You did the right thing, but I'm sorry you had to go through this mess to find out how they really are.
Wow...I read your first post about this and something did seem off. But at least you found out only 6 months in and not after you were engaged or even married.
Good for you for what you did! You and your son deserve someone better!
I agree with miss argentina I think you're an amazing woman for really standing up for what you stand for
This is absolutely infuriating! UGH how terrible! So sorry you're going through this, but good for you for standing up for you and your son!
I totally understand wanting/needing a person to accept your child. DS isn't autistic but I still dealt with "great" guys that were okay with me but not 100% okay with him.
What I can say, is there ARE men that love our children just as much as they love us!!! DS is DH's "son" and that is all there is too it.... not "step son" or "my son" but HIS son.
You hold on for that great guy and just be thankful that you got to see this NOW as opposed to later or after the I Do's like so many ladies.
Hope you and your son have a WONDERFUL love filled Thanksgiving! ((hugs))
HOLY SHIT.
I'm so sorry, thats crazy. Good for you for being able to walk away. If my man didn't stick up for me on anything, even small things, I would be pissed. This is a whole other issue.
You're doing the right thing. No one deserves to be thought of in that way. May you find someone that truly appreciates you and your son both.
OMG, What a horrible thing to say!! I couldn't even believe how I would feel if somebody said something so evil about my kid!
I think you're doing the right thing by celebrating t-day with the people who wants to be with you and love you, regardless. And like PP's already said earlier, if your FI can't defend you on this, it will only show what the future will hold..
Hugs!
I am so sorry that you are going through this but I agree that you have made the right decision by doing what is best for you and your son. Those unkind words were not warranted and a child is never deserving of such cruelty. Whilst your now-ex (I think?) has hurt you a lot, some people do find it very difficult to stand up to their families or even to think that their families can be wrong about things. I am not excusing his behaviour, merely encouraging you to look back on the fond memories and love that was shared during your time together, rather than holding his memory as a bitter one. It will be be more "soul-soothing" this way, I think. I hope that you can enjoy the Holiday period with those who greet you with the respect and support that you deserve it. My thoughts are with you and your little one.
You did the right thing breaking up with that jerk. Good for you. I hope you manage to have a lovely thanksgiving with your son . :)
@mrscheetos: she has already dumped his sorry ass. She broke up with him over this
@Mrs. Harmony: You have many reasons to be thankful. You have a wonderful son who loves you to bits and who you love in return. You have family and friends who love an accept you for the people you are. You found out your SO's true character or overwhelming immaturity before you married him. You are not going to be related to bigots.
Good for you for sticking up for yourself and your child! I cannot believe ANYONE in their right mind could ever say that to you. How disgusting. You are better off without them, as we ALL deserve to be surrounded with people who love, RESPECT, and cherish us, no matter our faults or disabilities. You are amazing, I respect you so much. You and your lovely son are in my prayers, stay strong!
I'm so sorry. That's ridiculous! Good for you standing up for yourself.
That is simply horrible. However I commend you. You both deserve a man that has the guts and integrity to defend his woman and her child. One of your God kids is autistic and he's such an angel. To hell with them. I wish I could hug you. I hurts now, but it will eventually get better.
That's horrible! Good for standing up for yourself and your son when he wouldn't. One day you will find somone who will stand up for you two.
Wow. As I read that I was truly thinking 'oooh holy shit.' That woman is wretched, as is the ex-SO's father. The fact that this lady is a special education teacher just infuriates me. Good for you for splitting with him, he should have most definitely stood up for you and your son! I'm so angry for you and proud of you. Enjoy your Thanksgiving surrounded by people that love and value you and your son.
You did the right thing. If this pathetic "man" lets his parents treat his future SO's like that I would feel really sorry for them. Its better you found out that he was a doormat to his parents now, then when you are married. Good luck in the future.
@Mrs. Harmony: OMG I;m so sorry, but SO proud of yoU! Him not instantly standing up for you and asking you to "grow" on his paranets says a lot. If thats how he treats his soulmate then you don't need tha kind of soulmate.
My sister is autictic and in my parents old age I will become her caretaker, anyoe who doesnt undertsnat that or love her can have the door hit their butt on the way out. Good for you!
I have such horrible things running through my head regarding them, but I will keep them to myself. I'm lady and a bigger person. I would absolutely furious though. I am so, so, so sorry that they're saying and thinking such ridiculous things about your son You are better off without that bullshit. Both you and your son. It's a shame, but things happen for a reason.
(hugs) Your son is what makes the holidays and life in general so meaningful. The best of luck to you both.
Wow! You did the right thing about breaking up with him. My son was my #1 priority when I was dating. You didn't like him, couldn't handle him, anything, and I was out. That is just unacceptable! Hang in there and be tough. You did the best thing and you need to stick with it.
You are absolutely in the right in this. I have seen so many children who become ostracized from their parent when their mom chose a man over them, and it was awful. I look up to you for doing the right thing for your family--you and your son. I hope you surround yourself with people who truly love and care for you and your son tomorrow! HUGS
You have absolutely done the right thing, no questions. Stay strong and don't go back, that is unacceptable behaviour for your ex and his parents.
@zagora: Amen to that !!! I also want to add that I do believe God had a plan when you had your son and it was a GOOD plan !! Wishing you both all the love and blessings you can handle ! And apparently you can handle alot so... !! :) XoXOXO
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