Update on the daddy drama…. :(

posted 3 years ago in Proposals
Post # 3
Member
4440 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@Courtneyashley:  How old are you? The whole blessing thing is too old school for my taste….if they say no, you won’t marry him? That is ridiculous.

Post # 4
Member
9412 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

@Courtneyashley:  I am not sure why you are letting your parents control your life in this way. You have made a decision about your life partner – announce it to them with pride. This is not an arranged marriage situation (at least I don’t think it is) and they cannot tell you who you can and cannot marry.

You are starting your own adult life with a man and your parents should not come into play for that. You need to cut the apron strings and do what you want to do. You are going to let them dictate who you marry and when to wear your ring? Not a chance I would do that.

The “asking permission” is more symbolic than anything else and I’ve never liked the idea. You are not a piece of property to move from one man to another. You are an adult capable of making the best choice for yourself.

Post # 5
Member
9412 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

@BellaDee:  I was thinking the exact same thing. Unless someone is 16 and legally needs permission then I am not sure why this is even an issue. Unless my dad is the one marrying him, he gets no say in the matter. We announced our engagement to my family together and they were thrilled. We sure as hell didn’t ask if it was okay.

Post # 7
Member
9529 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

I don’t think I really understand what happened. Do your parents know you’re engaged? If not, call and tell them immediately. It sucks that your guy wasn’t able to talk to your dad before hand, but it’s not the end of the world. If you hid the engagement, that would be bad. he can just say that he’s sorry they weren’t able to get in touch before the proposal, but you’re engaged and yeah! Once you’ve told your parents (and his) then you can tell everybody!

Post # 9
Member
9412 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

@Courtneyashley:  It may be important to your dad, but it is your life. He won’t be around forever and you need to make the best decision for yourself and your own life. Who do you want to share it with? Who will be a good life partner? You will have plenty of decisions to make as an adult and those decisions need to be between you and your partner, not with your dad getting the final say like some kind of judge.

If I was your FI, I would not want to move forward knowing your dad would always be hanging over my head on every decision we make.  

Post # 10
Member
4639 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

If it was so important to your dad he would have known it already happened.

 

Also, why are you so concerned about what is important to your dad? I’m fairly certain its important to your FI that you recognize that your engaged despite your parents needing to discuss this amongst themselves??

 

My FI would be heartbroken if he proposed and then I decided not to recognize it because my parents want to act a fool.

 

 

 

 

 

Post # 12
Member
1068 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

@Courtneyashley:  I’m of the firm belief that calling parents is a *very* nice thing for the man who is proposing to do, and they get that one shot, right there, to either give their blessing or ask questions.  It is NOT a hoop that your FI should have to jump through.  He is including your parents in a special moment, and if they want to play games and screw around, it’s a lost opportunity for them.

Post # 14
Member
477 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

Please don’t be “devastated” by this.  Your Prince Charming proposed to you in such an amazing way that it’s highly unfortunate to allow something like the lack of your father’s blessing affect this special event so negatively.

I understand it’s important to your father, but I see nothing wrong in proudly announcing it to them now that you ARE engaged.  Why hide the fact and pretend it hasn’t happened?  As engaged adults, you should OWN your new status.

*Edit*: BTW, if your parents see how genuinely happy, radiant, and confident you are instead of disappointed and nervous, it might go a long ways to help them feel happy for you!

Post # 15
Member
1689 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

This just seems so unnecessary.

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