(Closed) Update (re “Heartbroken” post)

posted 7 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
2608 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

You totally did… it sounds like he just needed a gently shove in the right direction, and based on that phone call he made to his fam I’d say it worked!  Forget the notion that you “forced” him into anything… If he didn’t want to marry you, he wouldn’t.  Period.  Def. leave him alone about it until July… focus on having fun together, and being loving and happy, secure in the knowledge that you’ll be engaged by the end of summer! 

Post # 4
Member
963 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

NOTHING wrong with stating your needs in the relationship!  I think you did the right thing.  Stick to your guns.

Post # 5
Member
176 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

I just posted in your other thread 🙂

But yes I think you did the right thing- sounds like you were very diplomatic too. He has acted on it by calling his parents which is awesome. Hopefully you can relax now and look forward to a proposal 🙂

Post # 6
Member
2373 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2008

I don’t think you’re that girl- I can’t help but feel he’s kind of an idiot though (I mean that respectfully of course).  If he hasn’t popped the question by July I wouldn’t give him a second shot. You deserve someone who is willing to move forward (I also don’t understand the whole family meeting thing- my parents met my husband’s after we were engaged- the families meeting doesn’t change an engagement.)

Post # 8
Member
809 posts
Busy bee

You did the right thing, don’t feel bad at all! You know we’re behind you 100% and you did what you had to do. Like I said on the other thread, you deserve to be happy too! And I don’t really get the whole family thing either, if they’re not around now they may not be around later so they don’t really make a difference. I agree with a PP in that I hope you don’t give him a second chance if he fails this one. You deserve so much more. Good luck!

Post # 10
Member
3302 posts
Sugar bee

You did the right thing and I can not IMAGINE why you would think you were wrong.

You have needs in your relationship, one of which is being secure and commited. Your goal is to be married and have children which will not happen unless he takes the next step. Honestly, I don’t want to be too personal- but if you are being intimate with him, living with him and etc. you are not in the wrong for having expectations for the direction of your relationship that come about in a timely manner. How DARE he expect you to be happy with his broken promises while you continue to give all of yourself plus MORE to ensure his happiness.

AGAIN – You are NOT in the wrong for letting him know your needs and expectations. Don’t EVER think that. I am glad this talk happened and I hope he makes the deadline in July. I personally am VERY proud of you. If more women would put their foot down like you did and stop being SCARED of what would happen, they would take control of their lives and futures and stop giving all of the power to these men. I commend you greatly!

Post # 11
Member
4547 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I don’t think you did anything wrong! You just let your SO know what your needs and expectations are in a relationship and that’s a very healthy thing.

Post # 12
Member
5921 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: December 2010

I think you did exactly the right thing.  Relationships aren’t always like a Nicholas Sparks book, sometimes they need a little prodding and pushing.

Post # 13
Member
9825 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

Good for you for putting all your cards on the table. You’re right, 5 years is plenty of time.

Post # 14
Member
493 posts
Helper bee

@armychica06: PREACH GIRL!!!!!!

I couldn’t have said it better myself!

 

@Shirinjoon: Good for you! You did exactly what I would’ve done and what a lot of women should do. It’s been five years and you been more than patient.

Post # 16
Member
2373 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2008

Out of curiosity do you live together?

The topic ‘Update (re “Heartbroken” post)’ is closed to new replies.

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