Update – Said Goodbye to Our Baby :(

posted 3 years ago in Pets
Post # 3
5460 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

@CarterLove:  Oh no, I’m so sorry 🙁  Our pets really do become our family.  I hope you are able to grieve properly, and I wish you peace & comfort.

Here’s something that has always helped me during the loss of a beloved pet:

Post # 4
490 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

So sorry to hear you lost your 4 legged baby 🙁 losing a dog is one of the hardest things to go through…they truly are family members We put our baby down 5 years ago and it was terrible…it does get better and easier though I promise!  

He will be there waiting for you at the rainbow bridge. :::hugs!!:::

Post # 6
4911 posts
Honey bee

I am so, so sorry for your loss. I know, from experience, that it doesn’t feel like things can ever get better right now. But they do, even though it takes some time. I am also sorry that you  have to go through this now, when you are in the midst of all the craziness that wedding planning can cause. I hope you are able to take some time away from planning and getting ready to take special care of yourself.

Post # 8
1901 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

@CarterLove:  I’m so sorry for your loss. It’s always so hard to lose one of our babies. **hugs**

Post # 10
953 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

@CarterLove:  ugh, I’m so sorry and it’s honestly just not fair. Take comfort in knowing he loved you and he knew you loved him. Also, I always find Fiona Apple’s letter about her dog heart wrenchingly relevant in times like this. 

“It’s 6pm on Friday, and I’m writing to a few thousand friends I have not met yet.
I am writing to ask them to change our plans and meet a little while later.
Here’s the thing.
I have a dog Janet, and she’s been ill for almost two years now, as a tumor has been idling in her chest, growing ever so slowly. She’s almost 14 years old now, I got her when she was 4 months old. I was 21 then, an adult officially – and she was my child.
She is a pitbull, and was found in Echo Park, with a rope around her neck, and bites all over her ears and face.
She was the one the dogfighters use to puff up the confidence of the contenders.
She’s almost 14 and I’ve never seen her start a fight ,or bite, or even growl, so I can understand why they chose her for that awful role. She’s a pacifist.
Janet has been the most consistent relationship of my adult life, and that is just a fact.
We’ve lived in numerous houses, and jumped a few make shift families, but it’s always really been the two of us. 

She slept in bed with me, her head on the pillow, and she accepted my hysterical, tearful face into her chest, with her paws around me, every time I was heartbroken, or spirit-broken, or just lost, and as years went by, she let me take the role of her child, as I fell asleep, with her chin resting above my head.
She was under the piano when I wrote songs, barked any time I tried to record anything, and she was in the studio with me all the time we recorded the last album.
The last time I came back from tour, she was spry as ever, and she’s used to me being gone for a few weeks every 6 or 7 years.
She has Addison’s Disease, which makes it dangerous for her to travel since she needs regular injections of Cortisol, because she reacts to stress and to excitement without the physiological tools which keep most of us from literally panicking to death.
Despite all of this, she’s effortlessly joyful and playful, and only stopped acting like a puppy about 3 years ago.
She’s my best friend and my mother and my daughter, my benefactor, and she’s the one who taught me what love is.
I can’t come to South America. Not now.
When I got back from the last leg of the US tour, there was a big, big difference.

She doesn’t even want to go for walks anymore.
I know that she’s not sad about aging or dying. Animals have a survival instinct, but a sense of mortality and vanity, they do not. That’s why they are so much more present than people.
But I know that she is coming close to point where she will stop being a dog, and instead, be part of everything. She’ll be in the wind, and in the soil, and the snow, and in me, wherever I go.
I just can’t leave her now, please understand.
If I go away again, I’m afraid she’ll die and I won’t have the honor of singing her to sleep, of escorting her out.
Sometimes it takes me 20 minutes to pick which socks to wear to bed.
But this decision is instant.
These are the choices we make, which define us.
I will not be the woman who puts her career ahead of love and friendship.
I am the woman who stays home and bakes Tilapia for my dearest, oldest friend.
And helps her be comfortable, and comforted, and safe, and important.
Many of us these days, we dread the death of a loved one. It is the ugly truth of Life, that keeps us feeling terrified and alone.

I wish we could also appreciate the time that lies right beside the end of time.
I know that I will feel the most overwhelming knowledge of her, and of her life and of my love for her, in the last moments.
I need to do my damnedest to be there for that.
Because it will be the most beautiful, the most intense, the most enriching experience of life I’ve ever known.
When she dies.
So I am staying home, and I am listening to her snore and wheeze, and reveling in the swampiest, most awful breath that ever emanated from an angel.
And I am asking for your blessing.

I’ll be seeing you.
Love, Fiona”

Post # 11
953 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

Last one, I promise. 

Some of you, particularly those who think they have recently lost a dog to “death”, don’t really understand this. I’ve had no desire to explain, but won’t be around forever and must.

Dogs never die. They don’t know how to. They get tired, and very old, and their bones hurt. Of course they don’t die. If they did they would not want to always go for a walk, even long after their old bones say:” No, no, not a good idea. Let’s not go for a walk.” Nope, dogs always want to go for a walk. They might get one step before their aging tendons collapse them into a heap on the floor, but that’s what dogs are. They walk.

It’s not that they dislike your company. On the contrary, a walk with you is all there is. Their boss, and the cacaphonic symphony of odor that the world is. Cat poop, another dog’s mark, a rotting chicken bone ( exultation), and you. That’s what makes their world perfect, and in a perfect world death has no place.

However, dogs get very very sleepy. That’s the thing, you see. They don’t teach you that at the fancy university where they explain about quarks, gluons, and Keynesian economics. They know so much they forget that dogs never die. It’s a shame, really. Dogs have so much to offer and people just talk a lot.

When you think your dog has died, it has just fallen asleep in your heart. And by the way, it is wagging it’s tail madly, you see, and that’s why your chest hurts so much and you cry all the time. Who would not cry with a happy dog wagging its tail in their chest. Ouch! Wap wap wap wap wap, that hurts. But they only wag when they wake up. That’s when they say: “Thanks Boss! Thanks for a warm place to sleep and always next to your heart, the best place.”

When they first fall asleep, they wake up all the time, and that’s why, of course, you cry all the time. Wap, wap, wap. After a while they sleep more. (remember, a dog while is not a human while. You take your dog for walk, it’s a day full of adventure in an hour. Then you come home and it’s a week, well one of your days, but a week, really, before the dog gets another walk. No WONDER they love walks.)

Anyway, like I was saying, they fall asleep in your heart, and when they wake up, they wag their tail. After a few dog years, they sleep for longer naps, and you would too. They were a GOOD DOG all their life, and you both know it. It gets tiring being a good dog all the time, particularly when you get old and your bones hurt and you fall on your face and don’t want to go outside to pee when it is raining but do anyway, because you are a good dog. So understand, after they have been sleeping in your heart, they will sleep longer and longer.

But don’t get fooled. They are not “dead.” There’s no such thing, really. They are sleeping in your heart, and they will wake up, usually when you’re not expecting it. It’s just who they are.

I feel sorry for people who don’t have dogs sleeping in their heart. You’ve missed so much.

Post # 14
10748 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2014

I’m so sorry. My family had to do that with our 16 year old cat last spring who had pneumonia, so I know how awful it is. But just remember you guys were there for him in the very end and he would have left feeling so loved. You did the right thing for him even though it was so hard on you. 

Post # 15
1893 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2014 - Dallas, TX

@CarterLove:  Losing a furbaby is one of the hardest losses in life. I’m so sorry. Lots of hugs.

Post # 16
7654 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

@CarterLove:  I’m so sorry. I lost one of my dogs in October, and it was extremely difficult for me. Still is when I think of him, and it doesn’t matter that I have a different fluffy face waiting at home for me.

I’m sorry for your loss 🙁

Leave a comment

Sent weekly. You may unsubscribe at any time.

Find Amazing Vendors