UPDATE: she has GOT to be kidding me

posted 3 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
1793 posts
Buzzing bee

I’m so sorry things have broken down so badly with FI and his brother.  I do understand the weight that has been lifted though.  Isn’t it sad when family issues create such drama and burden?

I remember your earlier post and I’m sorry your brother has chosen to distance himself from the family.  Maybe someday he will realize what he gave up.

Many hugs for you guys.

Post # 4
Member
417 posts
Helper bee

I completely understand how you feel.  My FI and MY brother are really good friends.  When we got engaged he was debating asking my brother who is around more and closer in distance to be his best man, over his brother who is in UT. (we are in MI)  So we don’t see his brother often.  Actually in the 8 years we have been dating I have only seen his brother twice.

I did NOT want my brother to be best man.  He is not the most dependable person in the world and I can see him “forgetting” to show up for events, or being very late, since he always is for everything anyway.

I was SO happy when FI decided to ask his brother to be best man.  As it stands we have a “back-up” groomsman for my brothers spot!   How sad is that!

Post # 5
Member
4576 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@vorpalette:  After what you’ve posted about before, I’m honestly glad for you that he’s not best man anymore.

Post # 7
Member
849 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

@vorpalette:  Sorry that you guys are going through this, and especially that your FI and his brother’s are no longer so close. That being said, thank goodness he is no longer your best man. Now your FI can surround himself with friends who love and support him and pick a best man from there.

 

Good luck.

Post # 8
Member
3047 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@vorpalette: Weddings are good at bringing out all these contradictory feelings! I understand that it must be extremely hurtful for your FI and that you ache for that. At the same time, planning a wedding is stressful enough as it is, so I totally get that this also makes you feel relieved.

Any idea what your FI will do now for his best man? Perhaps setting on a new person might be a good way to take his mind of what just happened?

Post # 9
Member
928 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@vorpalette:  Ahh I’m so glad your FI isn’t having his bro as best man anymore. Maybe that’ll be a wake-up call for how he’s been treating his family…

Sounds like it’s SIL who’s really damaging the family dynamic, everyone else sees it, it’s just going to take longer for FI’s brother to see it. Good luck, I hope wedding planning is much less stressful now! The boys will work out their relationship, all you can really do is be there for your FI and hope for the best <3

Post # 10
Member
1259 posts
Bumble bee

I’ve been reading your threads about the trouble you’ve been having with your FBIL. It sucks that it comes down to this but I’m so glad for you that your fiance was able to FINALLY talk to his brother. You don’t need the ‘best man’ to be completely MIA and unsupportive for your fiance. Just another thing for him to worry about the day of! 

I can only wish for you and your fiance, that not being apart of the wedding as his best man might open his brother’s eyes up a bit on how he’s been acting towards the family. 

 

Post # 12
Member
819 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@vorpalette:  Super sorry that all this happened/you and FI have to deal with this. You shouldn’t have to. You’re making a big effort. Super happy to hear that FI’s brother will NOT be BM and that cousin has already stepped up. So sad. You don’t need the stress and you are doing the right thing. :] Either he can use this as chance to realize how he affects you guys and the rest of the family or he can continue to be the self absorbed a-hole. 

Post # 14
Member
2429 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

UGH — I’m so sorry you have to deal with this. We had crazy family drama before our wedding also, so I know how stress-inducing it can be.

Luckily you still had time to replace him as best man. Sounds like that was the best possible option for your FI.

Post # 15
Member
1179 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

This just sucks. And I have nothing else to say but that from this point I hope it gets better.

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