- 7 years ago
Talked to my guy last night with wonderful yet interesting results. The responses I got back from the Bee about whether or not I should talk to him about our timeline was pretty mixed and each team definitely had it’s merits. Well, decided to bring it up anyways. Started the conversation from the angle of my family and their potential visit this year. I asked him if there was a chance we’d be getting married in the next year and change because I wouldn’t have them visit if that were the case. After some discussion he said getting married late next year or early 2013 isn’t out of the question. While he would be upset that he might not be able to meet my family before the wedding, he does understand their situation.
So I asked him what he meant by his 6 month to 2 year timeline. He said he was leaning more towards 2 years and I responded “So we really wouldn’t get married for another 3 years then?” He didn’t understand so I explained, 2 years till we got engaged and 1 year to plan the wedding. He said no, 2 years max till we’re married. And technicacally it’s closer to a year and a half.
Here’s what threw me – early this year when I asked for my timeline I was trying to be sensitive about the topic and didn’t use the words “engagement” or “getting enaged.” For the sake of making it an easier conversation I said “taking the next step.” APPARENTLY, to him taking the next step means getting married and to me taking the next step means getting engaged. So when he told me 6 months to 2 years he meant 6 months to 2 years till we got MARRIED, not engaged. I had no idea.
REGARDING THE POSITIVES TO DISCUSSING TIMELINES: I asked him if he felt like he was being forced to considering marrying me since I gave him my timeline. He said, “Absolutely not. Later I realized that really, at that point I should have already been considering when we would be moving forward. I don’t know why I hadn’t, because it was the right time for it. So your timeline got me thinking and I decided I should start making plans.”
It was refreshing knowing we were practically on the same page and knowing that me expressing what I wanted out of our relationshop wasn’t considered pressure, but more of a reminder.
To end it all, I asked if that meant something would be happening this year. He said no. I asked if he was lying. He said no. (Usually I can tell 100% if he’s actually lying, but I really couldn’t this time.) So I asked does that mean early next year. He said that obviously it would have to happen then. Part of me still hopes that it would be this year, but I”ll take next.
I’m so happy! 🙂 Thanks for your help ladies!