Update to StaceyA's Birth/Recovery Story – 3 Months PP

posted 3 years ago in Babies
Post # 3
Member
1021 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2010

My DS is 4 months and A LOT of what you said rings 100% true for me! I love your “rules” with your husband. I have to admit, tension with my hubby was not a challenge I expected, but we had a lot of the same issues as you, but as DS is getting older and more interactive, things are getting better with us.

I agree with all of your lessons learned as well. I wish I had this list before I had DS.

Today is my first day back and work, and I really think it will be best for everyone in the family. DS will have teachers and friends to interact and play with him all day at daycare, I’ll get my life and time back for myself, and DH will not feel like he is the only adult interaction I get at the end of the day, which will take a lot of pressure off him to “be everything to everyone all the time” (provider, dad, husband).

Here’s my little guy sitting up (almost) on his own yesterday!!

Post # 4
Member
576 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Sorry to hear about the crazy lack of sleep it can be really tough… Honestly it sounds a lot like my baby at 2 months before a put her on a schedule. Before the schedule should would sleep 3-4 hours a day, afterward it was at least 3 naps a day all 2 hours long. We realized she needed more of a structure nap routine than what we were giving her. I was amazed with how much more she slept! Oh Well!! First time parents we certainly had a lot of trials and a lot of errors! 

Brett is so cute!! PS walmart now makes a store brand diaper genie refill, not perfect but they are a nicer cheaper option. Also check out diapers.com it does save like 3 dollars compared to BJs or Costco and they truly ship overnight.

I’m with you on the caffine addiction I have a minimum amount of coffee required for the day, and jealous of the movie night!! Thats on my bucket list!! 

I hope the weeks ahead provide you with nights full of sleep and smiles!

Post # 5
Member
5460 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

@StaceyA:  I LOVE that you guys have rules.  That is such a brilliant idea.  I called DH once in tears because I was at the end of my everloving rope & he came to the rescue.  We also “tag out” in the middle of the night, even now at almost 10 months.  She used to sleep through the night like a little angel, but she evidently forgot how.  Argh.  It’s getting old.  So, I hang in there as long as my energy and patience will let me, then I wake him up and tell him I need to tag out.  It is definitely a team effort!

 

Post # 6
Member
7262 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2013

I totally get you on lack of sleep! My 3 month old will not sleep anywhere except my arms. I can maybe get her to sleep in her swing for up to 30 minutes, but she has to be in a deep sleep before I put her in, and she wakes up screaming crying. I literally have to hold her all day long, otherwise she just cries. She sleeps in my arms at night, and wakes up every 2-3 hours to BF. Luckily, she stays pretty much asleep while she’s night feeding. I can only dream that she’ll sleep on her own someday…

We don’t have any friends or family near us, so we don’t get any help! We usually go out to lunch a couple of times a week, but DH ends up having to feed me because I’m either holding DD or BFing her. I would love to be able to eat with two hands again, and not have to eat everything in less than 5 minutes!

Even though it has been extremely difficult, it is so rewarding now that she smiles at me, tries to talk to me, and puts her arms by my neck when I hold her like she wants to hug me. I’m so sad that I have to go to work tomorrow for the first time. She’s barely been away from me for 8 minutes, let alone 8 hours! I don’t know how DH will do it.

We always said we wanted 2 kids, but we can’t even imagine having another at this point. We’ll see what happens!

Post # 7
Member
1563 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

@StaceyA:  Thank you so much for sharing your update! It is nice to get the real picture of what the parenting experience can be like especially with PPD involved. I feel like there is often too much shame associated with it and the more we talk about it and normalize it, the less shame people will feel! Anyway, Brett is an adorable baby and you are doing an amazing job even with the difficulties that you’ve faced.

Post # 8
Member
11668 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@StaceyA:  Thanks for sharing. I’m glad you and your husband are surviving and slowly but surely it’s all getting better. I really appreciate the “rules” you have with your husband and definitely think they will be helpful for my husband and I when we welcome our little girl in a few weeks.  I hope things keep getting better for you guys and your adorable little man gives you some more sleep times soon! 🙂

Post # 9
Member
3119 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

O gosh, I love this update so much. Your story is so REAL and I feel pretty common….I love the rules you and your husband put together. And the SOS thing really seems like it could be such a comfort just knowing that if you get to that point…there is relief. 

Thanks for sharing, I also like your list of things you couldn’t live without!

Post # 10
Member
111 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@StaceyA:  I went through about the same stuff with son, who is now 18 months, and our first child. My husband even had an anxiety attack, panicking that we would never sleep anymore, what did we do and such. Not a happy time!

Our son was demanding, would not sleep, always needed to be entertained and held, basically he had a hard time adjusting to life outside the womb. I remember once asking to a nurse, while crying, why did I have to always hold him and breastfeed him, and she answered that I had been his home for the past 9 months, he was missing it and needed to be close to me. That stuck with me, and on days when I thought I could not keep my cool no more, I remembered it and it helped me carry on.

I also had a lot of help from my mom, and indeed, did share the night awakenings with my husband, even though I was breastfeeding, he would get up with me, hand me the baby, and sometimes just stay with me so that I would not feel lonely, even though he had to work the next day.

Anyways, it all became better after 4 months! So good luck to you, hold on and try as much as you can to enjoy these moment, as they do go by so fast!

Post # 11
Member
1472 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

My 14 month-old JUST started sleeping through the night. And now we’re cutting molars, so those days are gone again. But I totally hear you. It is hard. It’s so hard. And I think people forget it (I’m putting in effort so that I DON’T forget.) It does get better, though. Thanks for sharing your story, it’s important for people to read. I also like your rules with your husband. 

Post # 12
Member
4413 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Thank you so much for sharing this. You are so right — the hardest thing after DD was born was that DH and I didn’t always have each other’s backs for a while. We were just so tired and I was so miserable that it was hard not to think only of ourselves and the baby, totally forgetting about each other. Being aware of that and talking about it (and making those awesome rules you have!) can make such a difference.

Sending you good sleep vibes!! Though I’m selfishly keeping some for myself too; haha DD doesn’t sleep through the night either just yet …

Post # 13
Member
7654 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

@StaceyA:  Oh man is he adorable! Thank you for sharing. I really like your “rules” with DH. I think it is important to remember each other’s feelings in the recovery process, and it is so great you guys were able to work together. Good job, mama!

Post # 14
Member
1176 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: February 2011

Can I be one of “those” people and give you my best piece of advice?

Let the sleep thing go. I can only speak from my experience but the best thing I ever did for my own sanity was stop worrying about how my LO slept. The worrying and stress was worse than the lack of sleep but once I stop trying to do battle with my baby, life got much easier and much more pleasant!

Your baby WILL sleep eventually and you WILL get through it – this too, shall pass!

 

Post # 15
Member
470 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

Thank you so much for sharing. As a woman who wants children in the semi near future, it’s fantastic to read REAL stories, from REAL woman. Youre doing an amazing job, and your little guy is adorable. Congratulations! 

Post # 16
Member
955 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

@StaceyA:  Brett’s adorable and those are great rules! I’ve mentioned a few times on here that I was diagnosed with PPD and PPA. Those first few months were the hardest (and I hate to say this, but at times the worst) days of my life. I can honestly say that it does get better. I am having so much fun with my daughter now, and I’m glad you’re starting to feel the same way with Brett. I hope the weather gets better for you soon, too.

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