Updated Timeline

posted 3 years ago in Waiting
Post # 2
405 posts
Helper bee

Jadegreen:  You’re, what, 21?  And you will get engaged in about 18 months?  You know, if I were you, I would just relax and enjoy being 21.  You will never have this time back.  Go dancing, go to fun bars, have fun with your friends.  Have fun with you and your boyfriend, just the two of you.  You will not have this opportunity again.  You’ll get married, your friends will get married, and everyone will be busy, and you won’t have to time to relax and enjoy life like you can right now.  

I know that I’m glad that when I was 21-23, I had so much fun with my girls.  We were out almost every weekend.  We took Vegas trips, weekend trips to Palm Springs/San Diego/Santa Barbara, and just had FUN.  I remember that time in my life fondly.  Pretty much everyone I know is married now and starting families, and that time in their life is over, at least until the kids grow up!  

So, seriously, just forget about getting married, or getting engaged, and have fun.  It will come soon enough.  

Post # 4
3280 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

Not all 21 year olds enjoy drinking or going to the bars. I turned 21 last week, go to one of the top party schools and I never drink/go out, just not my thing. There is nothing wrong with wanting to get married soon. FI and I got engaged when I was 19 but I never “waited”. We literally just went to the mall, bought a nice ring, he asked my dad, then proposed. Forget all the timelines, etc, you’re BF will propose when he’s ready. No, the will should not be in your name. Getting engaged in a year and a half, then a three and a half year engagement on top of that?? Is there a reason you need that long of an engagement even being in school, you could always just go to the courthouse if you’re worried about the will/benefits. What’s the point in getting engaged if you’re just going to wait 3.5 years?

Post # 5
3016 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2014 - Prague

I find this thread really odd. You are excited b/c he has to save up loads of money “for the expensive ring that” you want and you are already concerned about his death benefits and will?

Maybe I’m reading this wrong, but there is something about this thread that is just YUCKY.

Post # 6
356 posts
Helper bee


prahajess:  +1

fancymichelle:  Just from this post, it seems like you’re more worried about the material things in life, and not what life really means. Let everything work itself out, you’re still young and have plenty of time.

Post # 7
405 posts
Helper bee

MrsN14:  I realize not everyone wants to go out and party like I did, but the OP can still plan trips and fun things to do without focusing SOLELY on what’s going to come.  The point is that marriage and kids will come soon enough, and if her SO isn’t going even going to propose for 18 months, she should just chill and have fun while she can. 

  • This reply was modified 2 years, 7 months ago by  .
Post # 8
7654 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

Jadegreen:  Lol wow…asking about getting his will in your name already? That’s pretty sad that you seem more concerned with that than actually enjoying your BF or the fact that he gave you a good timeline. You have some priorities that are kind of, well, disturbing.

Post # 9
3014 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

It sounds like you could do with a bit of legal protection now, and then make the engagement happen when there’s no pressure. What I would suggest is to look into common law status and cohabitation agreements where you live – where I live you can sign a cohabitation agreement that gives you some of the legal protections of marriage without rushing faster than the two of you are ready for.

I would say good luck! Probably if your boyfriend asks at his training for being a police officer they would have some advice for how exactly he can go about making sure that you two are protected.



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