Post # 1
After a big fight this week….which clearly was 100% the FH fault for purposfully lying….a lot of crying and then some talking, he told me that he has been saving for the ring and that I would only have to wait until Next August (2015) or sooner, as in whenever he can save enough for the exspensive ring that I want. I’m so happy, this means that I will be engaged before he gets a job as a police officer. Do you think that if we are engaged and he is a police officer that I should get his will in my name before we are married? We are planning on a LONG engagement of up the 3 and a half years while I finish my double major and two bachlors degrees. – For more information, if he were to get shot on duty as a police officer before we get married his parents would get all of his money and our appartment, and his parents are not good with finances because they are filing for bankruptcy and would just take all of it for themselves and leave me to pay all the bills.
Post # 2
Jadegreen: You’re, what, 21? And you will get engaged in about 18 months? You know, if I were you, I would just relax and enjoy being 21. You will never have this time back. Go dancing, go to fun bars, have fun with your friends. Have fun with you and your boyfriend, just the two of you. You will not have this opportunity again. You’ll get married, your friends will get married, and everyone will be busy, and you won’t have to time to relax and enjoy life like you can right now.
I know that I’m glad that when I was 21-23, I had so much fun with my girls. We were out almost every weekend. We took Vegas trips, weekend trips to Palm Springs/San Diego/Santa Barbara, and just had FUN. I remember that time in my life fondly. Pretty much everyone I know is married now and starting families, and that time in their life is over, at least until the kids grow up!
So, seriously, just forget about getting married, or getting engaged, and have fun. It will come soon enough.
Post # 3
Post # 4
Not all 21 year olds enjoy drinking or going to the bars. I turned 21 last week, go to one of the top party schools and I never drink/go out, just not my thing. There is nothing wrong with wanting to get married soon. FI and I got engaged when I was 19 but I never “waited”. We literally just went to the mall, bought a nice ring, he asked my dad, then proposed. Forget all the timelines, etc, you’re BF will propose when he’s ready. No, the will should not be in your name. Getting engaged in a year and a half, then a three and a half year engagement on top of that?? Is there a reason you need that long of an engagement even being in school, you could always just go to the courthouse if you’re worried about the will/benefits. What’s the point in getting engaged if you’re just going to wait 3.5 years?
Post # 5
- Wedding: July 2014 - Prague
I find this thread really odd. You are excited b/c he has to save up loads of money “for the expensive ring that” you want and you are already concerned about his death benefits and will?
Maybe I’m reading this wrong, but there is something about this thread that is just YUCKY.
Post # 6
fancymichelle: Just from this post, it seems like you’re more worried about the material things in life, and not what life really means. Let everything work itself out, you’re still young and have plenty of time.
Post # 7
MrsN14: I realize not everyone wants to go out and party like I did, but the OP can still plan trips and fun things to do without focusing SOLELY on what’s going to come. The point is that marriage and kids will come soon enough, and if her SO isn’t going even going to propose for 18 months, she should just chill and have fun while she can.
Post # 8
Jadegreen: Lol wow…asking about getting his will in your name already? That’s pretty sad that you seem more concerned with that than actually enjoying your BF or the fact that he gave you a good timeline. You have some priorities that are kind of, well, disturbing.
Post # 9
It sounds like you could do with a bit of legal protection now, and then make the engagement happen when there’s no pressure. What I would suggest is to look into common law status and cohabitation agreements where you live – where I live you can sign a cohabitation agreement that gives you some of the legal protections of marriage without rushing faster than the two of you are ready for.
I would say good luck! Probably if your boyfriend asks at his training for being a police officer they would have some advice for how exactly he can go about making sure that you two are protected.