Post # 1
Ok bees… Don’t hate me, but…
should I upgrade??
When my husband bought my set it only cost $850 total for the bame and the ring. It is a small 1/4 carat center and tiny pave diamonds on skinny bands. The quality of the diamonds is not good. Some look darker than others. I have already lost 3 and had them replaced but when they replaced them they built up the area around them so now I have parts on the band that stand up a bit more than others And they can’t fix that.
All this being said my husband wants to upgrade my set and while on one hand I love the idea because the cloudy random diamonds bother me and my ring just doesn’t shine and never really has On the other I love the memories attached to it. I know I can have it turned into something else but it’s just not the same.
My hubs is the one who actually brought it up (several times now). The size of my ring has always bothered him and while it doesn’t bother me as much I want to wear something he is proud of. I can always tell when someone asks to see it he is never thrilled. While it may be a little shallow of him I inderstand because we all have things we want to be proud of.
What at should I do?? Do I wish my rnig was shiny and maybe a bit bigger.. Absolutely. But does getting a new set make me a bad person? I don’t want to seem ungrateful because at the time we were financially tight and I was astounded that he was even proposing.
I could live with it if it was just me not having that OMG MY GORGEOUS RING feeling but when I know my husband isnt exactly proud of the ring it makes it tougher. Help!
Ps. Please don’t get the idea that he is a super pride douchewad. He’s actually the most kind and softhearted man I know. He just wants us to both be proud to show it off.
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Post # 2
lilhenry89: if you got married when you were in a worse financial situation and you aren’t now that’s a totally legit reason to upgrade! I see no issue with this!
Post # 3
lilhenry89: I think if you are both on board, go look at new rings. Try them on and see how it feels. That will tell you a lot. I personally could never upgrade my ring, but I was in a very different place when I got mine. If you do want to upgrade, you can keep your wedding band or make your old e-ring a right hand ring. There are plenty of options.
Post # 4
lilhenry89: Ummmm.. GIRL.. He is offering to upgrade your ring. Go for it!!!! I say you two are married, and he really wants to upgrade and feel super proud with what he buys you. SO let him! Keep this ring and wear it on your right hand. And, get a new ring…. Look around online or in stores at what you want. You can do diamond again, a gemstone, moissanite, whatever you both want! But, I dont think there is anything wrong with upgrading a ring, and I think it is sweet he really wants to get you a bigger ring. Go for it!
Post # 5
you are not a bad person!! If you’re not happy with your set and your hubby is willing to upgrade do it! Just PLEASE do not buy from Kay’s or Zales go to blue nile, James Allen or a private jeweler! You’ll get better quality jewelery!
Post # 6
I say go for it, especially because he’s the one bringing it up. I feel as though you should never go in debt for a ring/wedding set so if you can afford to do so, I don’t see why you have to wait for a reason to change your ring. It’s just a ring after all.
Post # 7
lilhenry89: I wold go for it, esp as he’s the one who’s suggested it, and not just once, but several times.
As far as the sentimental value goes: my ring is an upgrade/replica of my original. I too was worried about the sentimental side of things, and so was my OH, so he made an occasion of presenting me with my new ring (exactly one year before we get married, on a romantic break in London), and I have kept my original ring (I wore it on our engagement ‘anniversary’ and plan to do so each year), so I still have the memories from it.
Post # 8
- Wedding: November 2009 - New York, NY
It is completely normal these days to upgrade your ring, even when the original ring hasn’t had any issues. You both agree that you want to upgrade; what others think doesn’t matter. You can keep your original ring as is if you don’t want to turn it into something else
Post # 9
Hunny if he’s ok with it go for it! Your original set will always be a reminder of where you guys started. I think it’s sweet he wants you to be proud of your set 🙂
Don’t feel bad! The rings can change…just keep the man the same.
Post # 10
Can you keep your original set and upgrade? That’s basically what I did. I still have my original half carat diamond (set in a solitaire) but also have a larger cushion cut that was an upgrade. I also had a .84 round in between, which was traded in toward the cost of my cushion. My original is Leo from Osterman Jewelers (same company as Kay) but my cushion (and the .84 before it) from a local jeweler. I will always keep my original because it means so much to me and my husband picked it out on his own. We were young and just out of college when we got married so he got what he could afford at the time. We’ve been married almost 9 years now and worked hard to save for the upgrade.
Post # 11
lilhenry89: I agree with what the others have already said. There is nothing wrong with upgrading your ERing or set. And it doesn’t make you a bad person at all!
I can understand your hesitation and worry, since the whole idea of an “upgrade” or new wedding set often seems like a bad or negative thing on WB. My husband upgraded my set for our 16th wedding anniversary. Like you, we were in a very different place when we got engaged and married. I love my new set so so much, but I often feel uncomfortable about it here on WB, based on different threads I have seen. I kept my original ERing as-is. I have it put away so that, maybe, my daughter can have it one day.
In real life (as opposed to internet life — LOL) I think it is common for women to upgrade wedding sets as the years go by and situations change. I know many women (including some of my relatives) who have done this.
The main thing is that you and your DH are (more or less) on the same page, and your DH is even the one offering to do the upgrade. I say go out and have fun with it. Enjoy trying on different types and styles of rings and have a wonderful and fun experience together as a couple. It doesn’t mean you don’t cherish your original ERing and set.
Post # 12
I think it’s really sweet that your dh wants to upgrade your ring! I know how you feel about your set being sentimental….that’s how my original e-ring is too. Can you afford to still keep your original set and still upgrade? If so, you should do that! If that’s not an option you could always reset your center diamond into a different mounting, that way…you still have your diamond he proposed with. There are so many beautiful settings that make a smaller stone look bigger, I’m sure you could find something you both love.
Anyway, let us know what you decide to do!!
Post # 13
My DH upgraded my ring for our 15/16th anniversary (intended to be for 15, though it wasn’t complete until the 16th) because HE wanted to. Sometimes it means a lot to a man to be able to do something like that, and if it matters to him, let him do it. It doesn’t make you a bad person, nor does it make him a bad person. It just means that he wants your ring to reflect where you are now instead of where you were when you were married. The ring is just jewelry; the relationship is what matters.
Post # 14
You definitely both need to be proud of the rings..so I say if he wants to get you something better then let him!..you can always keep your old set and pass it down to your children. alot of people upgrade their rings after they are married so its nothing to feel bad about! You deserve to look down at your hand and think wow what an amazing ring! And he deserves to be proud and say yeah I got my wife rings we both love! Goodluck!
Post # 15
lilhenry89: Upgrade! Your FI wants to…why not? Get what you want.