Upgrade Regret

posted 2 years ago in Emotional
Post # 2
Member
2704 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 2015

rosegoldgirl:  

Hello!

I don’t have an upgrade ring, but I do have a custom ring. 🙂

I did feel a little bad at first because I knew that it was more than my FI wanted to spend. But at the end of the day he loves my ring and I LOVE my ring and he was happy to be able to give it to me, he made a decision, and I respect that. Plus, it’s going to be on my finger for the next 50+ years so he wanted to make sure it was one I would LOVE.

I admire that you’re humbled by your FI decision, but don’t feel bad about it. It wouldn’t be worth it if you both didn’t love the ring and get excited about it.

I’m sure every time he catches you staring at your ring, or you gush about it… he knows he made a good choice.

If you want to show off your ring I’d be happy to look at it I love me some rings!<br />

Here’s me falling in love with mine. Baahha

Post # 3
Member
2151 posts
Buzzing bee

I’m frugal so I get you feeling bad about the money (in addition I make/have much more than my boyfriend, I also grew up with a lot more money than he did so I try to be ultra sensitive to his position).

That being said, I’ve been down this road with my guy (i.e. him getting me something, then I feel guilty because student loans, etc). In my experience, me feeling bad about it, in turn, made HIM feel bad. Like he wasn’t rich enough, couldn’t provide enough, he felt awful that I even had to think about it. In the end I have stopped doing this, my guilt (and yours too I’m guessing) translated into him feeling like less of a man about it (and he is NOT usually like that about anything). So now, if he really wants to buy a nice dinner out, I just let him. No hemming and hawwing, I just let him pay. Your ring is lovely and your SO sounds sweet, enjoying it is probably thanks enough. 

ETA: Oh and I love your rockabilly/pinup hair in your pic. 🙂 I think we might be style sisters. 

  • This reply was modified 2 years, 4 months ago by  swonderful.
  • This reply was modified 2 years, 4 months ago by  swonderful.
Post # 4
Member
2154 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

I think something that may help alleviate some of your guilt would be to really show your fiance how much you appreciate your lovely ring! If I am sitting at work admiring my ring in some nice lighting sometimes I will snap a picture and send it to him saying “Thank you for Simon! :)” (Simon is my ring’s name lol!)

If that isn’t enough, another thing you can do is maybe start squirreling away some money here and there and then surprise him one day by paying off some of his student debt? Doesn’t have to be a huge amount, but I am sure he will appreciate the gesture regardless of the amount, because you were thinking of him and bettering your future together.  

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