Post # 1
- Wedding: September 2014 - Merritt Winery
Greetings, Bees! As I sit here, admiring my ring and how pretty/sparkly/blingy (yadda yadda insert other nice adjectives to explain a ring) it is, I can’t help but feel a tiny tinge of regret. My original ring was about $300. It is a rose gold cluster ring that FI had gotten from his brother (discount!) who works for a certain big box jeweler. I discovered that the diamonds were poor quality and were pretty much shoved in there. When I tried to contact FI’s brother to explain to him what was going on with the ring, I was ignored. FI’s brother lives 7 hours away and FI didn’t want to bring the ring back to our local big box store for fear of getting his brother in trouble for giving us his discount. LONG and drama-filled story short, FI wanted to make me happy. So, he liquidated some assetts and we decided to go the custom route and make a new ring. I was thrilled at first. I never EVER thought I would be one of those girls who actually had something made just for her. I love my ring now. It cost a lot more than $300 though! It is beautiful and high-quality. Yet, I can’t help but feel guilty. FI has a lot of student loans out there. He never once has made me feel guilty. When I broach the subject with him, he just says that he wanted to make me happy and I should stop feeling the guilt. Has anyone else felt this after they got an upgrade? Or am I just being silly and I need to be happy with what I have and keep it moving!? I don’t really talk about my feelings to a lot of people, so you ladies here have been such a help!
Post # 2
I don’t have an upgrade ring, but I do have a custom ring. 🙂
I did feel a little bad at first because I knew that it was more than my FI wanted to spend. But at the end of the day he loves my ring and I LOVE my ring and he was happy to be able to give it to me, he made a decision, and I respect that. Plus, it’s going to be on my finger for the next 50+ years so he wanted to make sure it was one I would LOVE.
I admire that you’re humbled by your FI decision, but don’t feel bad about it. It wouldn’t be worth it if you both didn’t love the ring and get excited about it.
I’m sure every time he catches you staring at your ring, or you gush about it… he knows he made a good choice.
If you want to show off your ring I’d be happy to look at it I love me some rings!<br />
Here’s me falling in love with mine. Baahha
Post # 3
I’m frugal so I get you feeling bad about the money (in addition I make/have much more than my boyfriend, I also grew up with a lot more money than he did so I try to be ultra sensitive to his position).
That being said, I’ve been down this road with my guy (i.e. him getting me something, then I feel guilty because student loans, etc). In my experience, me feeling bad about it, in turn, made HIM feel bad. Like he wasn’t rich enough, couldn’t provide enough, he felt awful that I even had to think about it. In the end I have stopped doing this, my guilt (and yours too I’m guessing) translated into him feeling like less of a man about it (and he is NOT usually like that about anything). So now, if he really wants to buy a nice dinner out, I just let him. No hemming and hawwing, I just let him pay. Your ring is lovely and your SO sounds sweet, enjoying it is probably thanks enough.
ETA: Oh and I love your rockabilly/pinup hair in your pic. 🙂 I think we might be style sisters.
Post # 4
I think something that may help alleviate some of your guilt would be to really show your fiance how much you appreciate your lovely ring! If I am sitting at work admiring my ring in some nice lighting sometimes I will snap a picture and send it to him saying “Thank you for Simon! :)” (Simon is my ring’s name lol!)
If that isn’t enough, another thing you can do is maybe start squirreling away some money here and there and then surprise him one day by paying off some of his student debt? Doesn’t have to be a huge amount, but I am sure he will appreciate the gesture regardless of the amount, because you were thinking of him and bettering your future together.
Post # 5
- Wedding: September 2014 - Merritt Winery
winterwoodlandbride15: Love your “falling in love with my ring” face! Thank you for the words of encouragement. When he catches me looking at my ring, he just shakes his head and laughs. I have blinded him in the sunlight with it before and he enjoyed that. lol Once my ring gets back from the jeweler (getting cradle made) I will be sure to post a pic. I’ll make sure I have a “falling in love with my ring” face too but I don’t know if I can beat yours!
swonderful: I too make more than he does right now. So, I think that has a lot to do with why I feel guilty. And you are totally right about my feeling bad about the ring makes him feel bad about it. Thank you for the compliment on my rockabilly pin-up look. I was bored and my inner 3 year old still likes to play dress up!
SunflowerGarden: Hilarious that your ring has a name! My ring’s name is Penny! Thank you for the idea about storing some money away to help pay some of his student debt. I know he would definitely appreciate that.