- 3 years ago
- Wedding: April 2014
I got engaged a few months ago and FI kind of “rushed” into buying me an e-ring. After an almost decade long relationship – I reached the point that I was tired of waiting, was convinced he didn’t want to marry me, and I was ready to cut my losses and move on (I’m almost 30!).
Anyways, FI was in between jobs at the time and basically took whatever money he had on hand and bought this ring for me:
The proposal kind of just “happened” after I found the ring in our house. I later found out that FI had an elaborate plan to propose the following month. When I found out his plan, I was totally bummed out. The sweet proposal I had always dreamed was now just a never-going-to-happen fantasy in my mind. However, I love my FI more than anything in the world and I love that he bought me whatever he could afford because he wanted me to be his WIFE 🙂 🙂 🙂 At the same time, I did feel a pang of disappointment because we had been discussing marriage for a very long time (around 3 years) and in that time he couldn’t manage to save up any money to buy me a proper ring.
Well I got over the proposal, moved on with my life, and started planning our wedding!!
We talked about eventually upgrading the ring, but I have mixed feelings about it:
1. I would love a bigger/nicer ring but this is the one my FI gave to me when he asked me to be his wife.
2. I love my ring, but at the same time it reminds me of a confusing and difficult time in our relationship and sometimes I wonder if my FI felt pressured to propose to me.
3. I don’t think it makes sense to get a new “engagement” ring once you’re married.
We’ve since dropped all ring talk and I immersed myself 150% into wedding planning.
Well last night I was looking at wedding bands online and FI asked me if he should buy me a whole new bridal set all together before we get married. I kind of scoffed at him and said “I would rather put that money towards the wedding.” and that was the end of that.
BUT then… it got me thinking….
Should I just let him buy me a new ring? Should I TELL him I want a new ring and pick something out (so I get exactly what I want)? Should I just let it go? If I get a new ring what do I do with the old one? I could never get rid of it because I really DO love it.
There is a tiny piece of me that wishes he would surprise me with a new ring and make it special to make up for the kind of forced/last-minute proposal. I would NEVER tell him this though and I am honestly ashamed to even admit that here…
I am feeling SO conflicted!! Bees, what would you do if you were in my position? Has anyone upgraded before/after the wedding? Can you share your story and maybe some before/after upgrade ring porn? 🙂
I added a poll just for kicks
NOTE: I can live my life happy FOREVER with the ring and proposal that I got. I LOVE my FI and I cannot wait to be his wife. I just tend to be very up and down about things and would love some input!