Weddingbee boards

Last night my husband stopped in the jewlery store to get our wedding rings cleaned in anticipation of our first anniversary (!) on Sunday.  While we were there we started looking at jewlery & he asked me what I would like to have next.  I told him what I'd been thinking about lately - upgrading the diamond on my engagement ring.

The Background: When we got engaged he was making significantly less money than he is now & paying down some debt he had.  I didn't want my ring to hinder his financial progress & I didn't want to wait to get engaged/married all because of a ring.  I suggested he use my grandmother's engagement ring and that's exactly what we did.  We said that he would get me a new ring "some day" when he could.

It's a beautiful heirloom ring - white gold, center diamond with 3 small diamonds on each side.  The problem is that  the center stone is small (the lady last night estimated 1/5 carat) and I have long fingers and it doesn't look right proportionally.  Now that we can afford more, we don't want to get a whole new ring as planned.  After all, it was my grandmother's, we had it engraved, it's fused to my wedding band & we used it in our ceremony when we said our vows!  I would probably prefer a whole different ring with a wider band but it would feel wierd because of the sentiment and I know my husband would be sad because of the reasons I listed above.  The lady at the store said that they could put a new head on it & the ring could accomodate a diamond up to 1/2 carat.  We looked at some diamonds and I loved what it could look like. The lady told us the current center stone could be turned into a necklace so that we could save it.  My husband is very supportive of me getting a bigger diamond.

I have a lot of questions now.  Am I materialistic to want a bigger diamond?  Is it strange to alter my ring after we've gotten married?  Should I just ditch it and go for a whole new ring?  Should I be content with what I have? 

Has anyone had to wrestle with similar questions?  How have you approached this situation?

I think you should upgrade the center diamond. It's still your Grandmothers ring but you will add little to make it yours. I also think the idea of making your Grandmothers stone a necklace is awesome. You never know it might be passed down again and whoever gets it will appreciate the new stone as yours and do the same thing, constantly evolving a family tradition.

Thanks everyone for the responses!  I appreciate it!

@ejs4y8: I'm sure I'll be happy with 1/2 carat.  I know many consider that to be small but it's a good size for me. 

@Pinkshoes: We had it engraved because we couldn't fit everything on my wedding band so we did 1/2 on wedding band, 1/2 on engagement ring.  We fused them together because my wedding band has small diamonds along the top of it & the rings were slipping around and the diamonds on both rings weren't lining up.  It was getting on my nerves!  The rings could be unfused if we want. 

@Caszos: Yes, that size upgrade feels right to me also.  It happens to be based on what the ring will accomodate but I think it's appropriate also.  The best part is, I doubt anyone will notice.  It will probably just be between my husband and I! :)

Well, my choices just got narrowed down... We went back to the jewlery store to pick up our rings.  I wanted to look at my ring with a bigger stone again so we talked to the woman who was working tonight.  She looked at the ring and showed it to the jeweler and the woman last night was wrong - my ring can not me modified with a bigger stone.  So, we looked at new engagement rings and I found one that I love.  So, I just have some thinking to do about whether I want to replace it or keep it.  Such a hard choice.  It's a decision I know I won't be making any time soon!!!