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I did. I'm not really into the whole "meaningful" aspect of it, because I picked out the first one myself. If he had done it all on his own maybe I would have kept it, but I wanted something bigger. So we traded it.
I wouldn't upgrade. I love my ring and can't imagine trading it in. If my husband wanted to get me a special anniversary gift, I would have no trouble picking out another piece of jewelry :)
I am, kinda. This is my current ring: Which is amazing and yellow gold and the second photo is the one hubby is getting for our renewal. It will be platinum and a smaller stone.
I am, kinda. First photo is current set. Which is amazing and yellow gold and the second photo is the one hubby is getting for our renewal. It will be platinum and a smaller stone.
hypnotique-640x360-1.jpg (27.3 KB, 59 downloads) 1 year old IMG_0052.JPG (130 KB, 54 downloads) 1 year old 
i think upgrades are nice and all but when you really think about it its a rock sitting on our hand, i can think of a thousand better uses for that money, house, kids, cars, starving kids in uganda maybe!!!!
I think it's pretty common for people to upgrade their ring. If I had gotten something smaller due to finance reasons with the intent of upgrading or something that I didn't totally love, I might be up for it (adding stones to it, or keeping the same setting with larger stone), but as for now, I'm 100% satisfied and can't imagine having a different ring on my finger.
I will definitely upgrade. I love my ring and I love my FH, but when we can afford it I plan on upping the center stone.
To me, my e-ring is just another accessory. It doesn't symbolize the love that I have for my FH or the love that he has for me. It symbolizes that I am engaged. And one day it will symbolize that I have a rock on my finger :)
I donate time and money to animal shelters and no kill foundations as well as being a foster mommy to rescued animals to prevent them being killed in shleters. So I am one that still puts all I have to a good cause, I don't wanna come off like I am just throwing money around. I also have a health reason for the 2 sets. I need to be able to switch my sets out or my hands will have a reaction to the metal.
@nightmaiden- don't let anyone make you feel bad about upgrading! Its your personal choice. Even if you didn't need to do it for health reasons, it would still be ok.
It's interesting to read this because I've been thinking quite a bit about this myself lately. My fiancee picked out a gorgeous princess cut solitaire and I absolutely adore the diamond. But, quite honestly, I could do with a band that has a little more personality to it. The one he selected is very pretty, don't get me wrong, but I'd love something with a little more sparkle.
So, I'm considering asking how he'd feel about using the money set aside for our wedding bands to upgrade the band on my ring instead. I wouldn't dream of touching the diamond - he spent nearly 3 hours picking it out, after all. But I keep hesitating because I'm really afraid of hurting his feelings and I'm not sure it's worth it. He's so proud of what he selected and in all honesty, I think it's beautiful too...but if I could add a little more sparkle, that would be great.
Any advice for feeling out that subject with him?
What about purchasing a diamond right hand blingy ring rather than an upgrade to an e-ring?
Maybe it is just me, but I think that the engagement ring and wedding band really is such a token of affection and the memory of the proposal and wedding attached to each band makes them special, not the size. I would never want to change either my engagement ring or my wedding band for the sole reason that altering them would be like changing the memory to me.
I would love for a five year anniversary gift for my husband to buy me a yellow gold diamond eternity band to wear on my right hand. It would signify another important event in our life, an anniversay, also hold that special meaning, but not alter the other rings.
I think that so much emphasis is put on displaying wealth, whether or not someone even has it (and I'm not talking about anyone particularly in this thread, just a general comment on our society) that girls feel the need to try to impress others with something that should be a private token of true devotion and love.
I recently had a close girlfriend whose engagement ring was stolen from her house. She is one promotion away from partner at a Big 4 accounting firm and her husband also has an excellent job, but they are not going to replace it (even though it was insured and they received the value back in cash). She is devasted because her ring is gone and it can never be replaced. Nothing can replace the memory. She now wears her wedding band only and plans to have a vow renewal ceremony when they celebrate their five year anniversay where they purchase another ring that she will wear like she wore her engagement ring, but it will be different and it will also have a very important memory attached to it. This is how I feel. Once you change something, to me, it takes away from the memory and from what it represents.
This is just my personal opinion about this and I'm not trying to preach how everyone else should view their engagement ring since it truly is a personal decision for everyone. And, I also respect girls who do want a larger or better quality ring because that is their own decision even though it isn't something I am a proponent for. I'm expressing it because I feel its a less popular opinion on the board and would interested to hear others' ideas as well.
@texacali, what if you just get a very sparkly band (or two) that you love to go with the e-ring? if your e-ring was sandwiched between two sparkly bands, that could completely change the look of it..
I understand people wanting to upgrade, but for me my ring holds a lot of meaning. I personally could never change it nor do I want to. I think it is perfect!
I can see why people might want to upgrade, if that's what is important to them. However, I don't think I'd ever upgrade my ring. I'm with the sentimental posters- my ring is such an important symbol that getting a new one wouldn't really seem like an "upgrade." Of course, I definitely would not refuse a fancy right-hand ring, or some other nice jewelry, to wear as accessories!
I'd be interested in upgrading like in 30 years or something. I feel as if our money would be better spent towards our savings, future house, kids & retirement. Maybe after all that I'd like a bigger stone!
When we got engaged, I was very pleasantly surprised by the size of my ring. I'd never discussed what carat size I wanted with my hubby, but apparently he had a budget in mind and set out to maximize what he got for his money by going to a diamond dealer in Miami.
He told me that he saw engagement rings in one of two ways, either you get a small one and plan on upgrading 5, 10 years down the road, or you go big to begin with and not worry about upgrading later.
My center stone (and only stone, because it's a solitaire) is a little over 2 carats. While of course it would be fabulous to have a 3 or 4 carat ring in the future, I'm sure that by the time we can afford it, we'll have more important things to be spending money on, like a house or taking care of our family. Plus, I do like the sentimentality of wearing the ring he proposed with forever :)
I have no plans to upgrade either my e-ring or my wedding band. It's important to both me and FI to wear our original rings. Because of that, he designed something that I would be happy with forever. I think it's pretty common for people to upgrade their e-rings after X number of years, but it's not something I would be interested in doing.
I don't think I could upgrade my ering. If he wanted to get me an anniversary ring at some point i would wear that... but i think i'd rather have some nice diamond earrings :)
I've said this before on the boards and it might be an unpopular opinion, but I just don't understand all of the emotions people attach to a thing. Thats really all it is, a thing. I love my FH and he loves me, we are thrilled to be spending the rest of our lives together. The ring that he gave me is a symbol that I am engaged, not a symbol of our love. And if I did think of it as a symbol of our love, love grows over time, so why shouldn't your ring?
@Nightmaiden: just had to tell you that i LOVE your current set. Like seriously--- it is amazingly beautiful. I wouldn't change a thing if I were you!
I went with FH to look at E-rings and I was so surprised that everytime we looked at a ring the sales people would say, "you can always upgrade later" I don't think theres anything wrong with it, my mom has had like 5 rings in the 30 years they've been married, but personally I want the same ring for the rest of my life. He can buy me all the bling he wants for my other hand but my e-ring will stay the same.
I wouldn't upgrade but I also don't attach that much emotion to it.
I love it as is and don't see the point of upgrading. I'm happy to get more jewelry. I wouldn't upgrade any of my other jewelry - I would just get new pieces if I wanted/could afford it. I don't know why erings get upgraded. It is what it is. Everything else is IMO not an engagement ring but a diamond ring. Nothing wrong with that - I've zero problem with people wearing whatever they want to symbolise whatever they want. But to me its a definition thing - an engagement ring is the ring you wear to symbolise that you're engaged.
I will someday. Not so much as an upgrade, since I have over a carat and think it's perfectly fine, but because it's an heirloom diamond that I will pass along to someone else eventually. I will get a different diamond when our future son or daughter takes this one, hopefully I can keep the same or very similar setting.
I honestly would upgrade eventually if DH had gotten me a smaller engagement ring. But I see no need to upgrade my current ring, I honestly wouldn't want it to be any bigger than it is. I don't stay at home and I don't have a maid, I take the subway and work full time so I think my ring totally fits my lifestyle. Plus it's perfectly proportionate to our incomes and I get weird when people wear a diamond bigger than them if you know what I mean. Like, what are you trying to prove? And wouldn't that $ have been better used as a down payment?
I am thinking of changing the setting, but only because it's currently set too high (I am the one to blame for that since I picked it out). I might look at some settings with pave diamonds or something, but no major upgrade.
i have no plans to upgrade. I do want to get a nice sparkly wedding band, and i anticipate wearing just the wedding band sometimes at work and not the e-ring after we are married anyway. I work in a hospital and sometimes my e-ring gets caught on things, and im not a big jewlery person anyway.
I will be upgrading.
I think I've decided to wear my band for the next few years, until we have some extra cash, then go out and get a beautiful ring that I love. It will probably be similar to my engagement ring, but a little fanicer.
I adore my ring, so I would never trade in the diamond or band for a bigger or different one. FI knew what I wanted, and he went and picked out one bigger and more sparkley than I imagined I would get! I'm very sentimental, so I would feel like I was giving up something meaningful. I won't oppose to some nice diamond earings though, in lieu of upgrading my ring!!
I wouldn't want a new ring entirely, but I think both FH and I would like to upgrade the center stone. We shopped for rings together and ran into a snafu. The style I loved was outside of his budget. So we found a compromise which I love and I love him for helping us find it. My ring isn't brand new... it was a private sale back to a jeweler. In order to get this style, that was what we had to do. Also, because we didn't build it from scratch, the center stone is smaller and lower quality than either of us would like.
The bottom line is that I love my ring and I love my FH. But 5 or 10 years after we're married I'd love a high quality, slightly larger center stone. That way all the symbolism of my ring is intact, and it can finally be what we both meant it to be all along.
Thank you, CorgiTales. Mine would only be to upgrade the metal not the stone as well. Since the one I have now is a little over 3 carats and the platinum one is a little over 2 carats, it isn't really an upgrading the stone as much as upgrading the metal for my allergy. I will switch between them so I'm not putting one over the other. But that is also because of my allergy. Plus, and I think this is the big thing, hubby loves to do things to surprise me and he admits he wants to spoil me. And if he sees something that he likes, he'll buy it. We are saving the money little by little but we have 2 years til our renewal so hopefully the renovations on the house will be done by then. But we don't have a house payment or morgage since my house is paid off.
i agree with you, for sentinmental reasons I can't picture changing it. it's 1 carat. i'm keeping it. for one thing, I don't need bigger one, and for another, I love the ring he proposed with. it means something to me to retain the same ring.
Also.....
While FI and I were shopping for our wedding bands (I picked one that was the match to my E-ring) he made the comment "Well if I don't like it down the road I'll just get something different".
I agreed with him - but really, I'd rather him keep the one we get married with. And its not like he would wear it on his othr hand because he doesn't wear any jewelry EVER.
I don't think I'd ever want to change mine either... But who knows, maybe 30 years from now I'll feel differently. I certainly can't see myself changing it within the next 10-15 years.
I picked out AND paid for my first e-ring after we got engaged, since I proposed, FI was unemployed, and I had savings. FI said he'd pay me back for it once he got a steady job, but it turned out that I discovered my initial ring (an enormous pear-cut sapphire with halo and pave diamonds on a thin white gold band) was so, so not the right choice for my e-ring for so many reasons. That's why this summer, after much, much searching, I had a ring custom made in yellow gold. It is essentially a reproduction of an antique ring I found on some esoteric website, with some slight tweaking. It's beautiful, and I love it, but because we spent so much on our initial e-rings (also, we're students!), the stones in it are Moissanite. I love Moissanite, and think it is a great, beautiful stone, but the diamond industry has got us all brainwashed, and I don't know if lab-created stones will ever be seen as fit to become heirlooms. So, one day, when we are much better off financially than we are now, I'd love to replace it with some nearly flawless, ethically mined diamonds so it can legitimately become an heirloom (I would have LOVED to receive an heirloom ring! I think they are usually beautiful and of course very emotionally special). The band is gorgeous, and is made out of the bands of my mother's two previous e-rings (each time she lost her diamonds cause she's a klutz, my dad just went out and bought her entirely new rings). I wouldn't ever want to "upgrade" the band. It is perfectly me and custom made. But the stones? Yes, I would. I would keep the Moissanite, if they are still in good condition, and have them added to some other jewelry, maybe a necklace.
Just my take.
I recently upgraded my engagement ring and absolutely love it. My husband has always said that he wanted to get a larger stone for it. I always refused as this is the ring he gave me and I love it. Well, that is until my mom showed me some jewelry she inherited from her mom. My grandmother's original engagement ring was in the jewelry bag that she brought out. She asked me if I wanted it and I jumped on the opportunity. So, I went from a 1/3 carat to a 1 carat diamond. Had it not been my grandmothers diamond I would have not changed the diamond out. Now my ring has 2 special meanings, one for my husband and one for my grandmother. I plan to use my old diamond to make another piece of jewelry.
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What do you Bees think about "upgrading" your e-rings?
I have a friend who received a beautiful diamond solitare ring from Tiffany's about 6 years ago when her then FI (now husband) proposed. This ring was somewhat pricey and is platinum - it is approximately 1 carat.
I recently saw her @ my bridal shower and was taken aback by the glaring bling on her ring finger. She added approximately 2 more carats to her e-ring! She is someone who always needs things "bigger and better" and has to be cutting-edge and fancy-schmancy!
My thing is.....I feel like the ring my FI proposed to is so meaningful because he picked it out and he paid for it and most importantly, he proposed marriage w/ it!! I don't think I could be one of those people who "upgrade" their e-ring!!
Thoughts?