Upgrading – what about sentimental value?

posted 3 years ago in Rings
Post # 2
Member
335 posts
Helper bee

It’s all personal preference. Some go into their engagement knowing they’ll upgrade later. Some when it’s a surprise later on still keep their ring, it’s all varies on the person/couple. Personally I will never upgrade. My FI and I discussed this as an option, that could get what he picked out now and upgrade later, but to me I want the ring he gives me to be the one I wear forever. I don’t have anything against upgrading, two women in my family have done it and it doesn’t represent their love or relationship any different, it’s a very personal choice. 

Post # 3
Member
6273 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: March 2014

I thought I would never upgrade, so I bought what I thought would be my forever setting when I got my ring, planning only to upgrade the stone later on.

Less than two years later, it’s already lost four stones, and I am getting so sick of it, I am thinking of asking them to let me trade it in. It’s beautiful, but seriously not worth the hassle.

You can say you won’t ever change your ring all you want, but in the end you just never know.

Post # 4
Member
3200 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

This topic is posted on a regular basis.  Typically it comes down to a lot of us valuing the marriage more than the ring.   The ring is just a symbol of that love and of course not the love and committment itself.  Plus, not everyone was given a ring by their FI in the sense that the FI picked it out and it was a surprise.  A lot of women, myself included picked our rings or a few rings and their FI’s picked from there.  My DH doesn’t care what I wear on that finger as long as a wear a ring on that finger.

Plus I always planned to upgrade my center stone and just picked it up in a pendant today.

Post # 5
Member
7281 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011 - Bed & Breakfast

This entire post is predicated on the faulty assumption that each woman ascribes sentimental value to their engagement ring. Many do not. Many view their ring as a piece of jewelry that should be updated as tastes change. Why keep wearing something your 25 year old self liked when you are 45 and your tastes have changed significantly? For many, a ring is just a ring; changing it has nothing to do with the marriage itself.

Post # 6
Member
494 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

Everyone’s different I suppose 🙂 I too won’t upgrade. If my future husband wants to buy me a big rock, I’ll accept with glee and wear it on my right hand! 😀 but i understand why some people do. I’m terrible for getting sentimentally attached to EVERYTHING lol but not everyone’s like that and it’s not the ring but the marriage. What if someone lost the ring? They’d be devestated but the marriage would survive

Post # 8
Member
5207 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2013

Hmmm… wonder if those who are not sentimentally attached would be just as happy with no ring at all? If it has no meaning then it doesn’t matter if you have one or not. 

Post # 9
Member
331 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

 

Aquaria:  Beauty does not lie in emotional attachment, it lies in sparkly and shiny (in this case). My engagement ring has no real emotional value to me, but it’s still beautiful and I like wearing beautiful things.

Post # 10
Member
1896 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

NovaRising:  lovekiss:  +1  

Some people just aren’t as sentimentally attached to objects as others.  It has no bearing on the quality of marriage, if you are attached to your first/only engagement ring or if you feel a different ring would have the very same meaning to you.  To me, my engagement ring is a symbol but not THE ONE AND ONLY that’ll mean the same thing to me.   I would 100% change it if I felt driven to.  Would have 0% impact on any of my emotions or my marriage.

Post # 11
Member
679 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

This topic has been beaten to death.  There are those that feel a sentimental attachment to the ring their SO proposed with, and there are those like PP have said, that see the ring as a piece of jewelry. 

OP, if you really can’t see yourself ever parting with the ring your FI proposed with, that’s fine.  Just don’t become holier than thou and start judging those that do.

FWIW, my mom has changed her ring several times over the years and she and my dad have one of the strongest marriages I have seen.

Post # 13
Member
679 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

Ls413:  On this board there are a lot of Bees that feel very strongly about this subject.  There is the camp that says “Oh I would never dream of changing the ring SO gave me and if you do you’re nothing but materialistic and care way more about some status symbol than your marriage”  And there is the camp (of which I am a part of) that says “the ring is just a symbol and if I want to change it, it has no bearing on your life so why judge”.

I asked my sister, who recently upgraded after 10 years of marriage if she was sad to change her original ring.  She felt no loss of “sentimental value” (your phrase OP) and in fact, it was more like a new beginning, like the next page if that makes sense.  She and her husband have been through a lot and the new ring was just a symbol of their commitment.  She still has her original set (but they traded in the center diamond) and she has fond memories but she doesn’t feel like she’s materialistic just because she got a new set.

To each their own.

Post # 14
Member
3372 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 1997

I think most jewelry is fabulous and fun to wear, but in the end, it is stuff. I tend, overall, not to have a lot of emotional attachment to things. We don’t place the shoes or dress we wore on the day of our engagements in storage to cherish forever, so why must the ring be permanent?

DH suggested we upgrade my ring for our 15th anniversary. He wanted the ring to better reflect where we are in life now, and he says that this is the ring he would have purchased when we were first married if he’d been able. I kept the original and have it in a box at the bank. While I love both rings, I can’t say I am heavily emotionally invested in either one. I enjoy wearing them because they are beautiful, but I would still be just as married with any other ring or no ring at all. 

If you feel differently, that’s fine. Not everyone changes their ring, nor would anyone expect you to. But I don’t question the choices of others simply because I would have made a different choice. We’re all different, and what you or others choose doesn’t affect me and vice versa. 

Post # 15
Member
1049 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

I absolutely cherish my engagement ring.  That said, it is a reflection of our financial and life stage at the moment of young and undeveloped.  We both want to go into marriage evolving and working towards goals together, buying a house, moving up in our careers, starting a family etc.  

I have no problem with my engagement ring evolving with us.  At some point when we have some spare cash, I would love to purchase something a bit more blingy together.

That said, I like my small .25 stone for everyday wear due to my job and lifestyle.  I would love something blingy mainly to wear for special occasions.  I don’t think I’d ever sell or part with my original ring.

Leave a comment


Sent weekly. You may unsubscribe at any time.

Find Amazing Vendors