Post # 1
When my FI and I were picking out the e-ring, he told me that at this time this is all he afford but later on wanted to upgrade the carat size of my ring so it would be bigger. is this tacky? i told my mom and she said i should want to keep the EXACT ring he gave me. I’m curious to see how other bees feel about upgrading their rings…
Post # 3
I’m torn on this one. If he specifically said he wanted to upgrade it than I don’t really see a problem with it…. I personally would not want to do it though as I like the symbolism behind the ring itself. If I was in your situation and I really wanted to upgrade I would probably use the same stone as was in the original ring and have it reset into a 3 stone ring so that you could still keep part of the original engagement ring.
Post # 4
I think it would be disrespectful to my groom. I would never "upgrade" my ring. Its about the love and symbolism of the ring. Not carat size and cost. If he wanted to be able to spend a little more money on you later on, why not just get a nicer wedding band. I don’t think its very smart to be spending hard earned money on bigger diamonds when people are saying we’re entering a depression, well above and beyond a recession. Tell him to save his money, you may need it. That’s just my 2 cents though.
Post # 5
I don’t think it’s tacky at all! Especially if it’s something you both want to do. I see it like upgrading anything else in your life: your home, your car etc. I actually know quite a few of my mom’s friends who have upgraded their rings.
Personally, we plan to add to my setting since its a solitaire at the moment. But if we weren’t happy with the carat size we would definitely upgrade. And I say "we" because I really do believe its a mutual decision.
Post # 6
I love MsB’s idea to reset the stone. If you don’t feel strongly about keeping the center stone then reset it. Everyone is different. If you want to keep the stone but want a larger stone for your engagment ring you could have the stone set into another ring or into a necklace. It would be a great way to make a custom necklace for your wedding day.. and forever.
Post # 7
I don’t think its tacky, especially if that is what you both want to do. He wants to marry you now, but isn’t going to go into debt over your ring, which is very respectable. My advice would be to keep the diamond from your first ring and match it with another to make a pair of earrings. That way you’ll always have the original diamond!
Post # 8
@BeachBrideT: I love the earring idea!
If it’s something he wants to do, you know you won’t be offending him. I don’t think it’s tacky, it’s just a matter of making sure you two talk it over and make sure it’s a mutual decision.
Post # 9
Its certainly not tacky and a lot of people do it! That said, I don’t ever plan to upgrade/change my rings because they are the ones I got engaged/married in…
Post # 10
This problem was presented to me as well… We were ring shopping during the Christmas season and every ring I loved Mr TN Walking Horse said he didn’t have the money for at the moment due to all of the other things he was having to buy. Plus we were traveling out-of-state the day after Christmas to be with his family. He offered to buy one now and upgrade, but I said no. It turned into a small argument, but he saw my point when I explained to him that I want the ring he proposes to me with to be THE ring I wear forever. That it is such a huge symbol of our love and I want it to be perfect in every single way so I would rather wait to get a ring I adore instead of just getting one to be engaged. I waited and got a gorgeous promise ring for Valentine’s Day. I couldn’t be happier 🙂
I think if you and your FI are comfortable with it, then do it. At the end of the day, you only have to please yourselves, right?
Post # 11
I think this is more a matter of personal preference. My husband and I are very sentimental and we could never part with my ring. I suppose if he couldn’t afford to get me the ring he wanted when he first got engaged, maybe we would upgrade but I imagine that would have been 10-15 years down the line when we are presumably older and more established. Otherwise, I don’t know when I would feel comfortable enough to drop another several thousand dollars for a bigger diamond!
Just another thought, if he choose to upgrade, I don’t know if I would consider it an engagement ring since it’s not the ring he proposed with. I might think of it as an anniversary ring (or whatever significant occasion he may choose to present the ring to you).
Post # 12
I think whatever a person wants to do is fine! It’s the term "upgrade" that seems to catch a lot of people. Think of it less as a trade- one ring for another- and more as an addition- you have one ring now, someday you’ll get another ring. They’ll both be meaningful to you, but that doesn’t mean you have to wear the old one forever. That’s my thoughts, anyway.
Post # 13
My fiance is planning on turing my solitare into a trinity down the road when he can afford it.
I think its nice that he wants to do something for me. You can always turn your original e-ring into a right hand ring…
Post # 14
I don’t think it’s tacky at all. I actually plan on getting a better grade diamond but will probably stay around the same carat. I look at it as an investment… who knows what will happen down the road? You might be desperate for money… for now, you enjoy it as much as you can, but later, it may be worth 10X what you bought it for… especially now when the price for diamonds is going way up!
Post # 15
I semi-upgraded. I just got another ring 2 yrs later, but I still wear the first one every now and then
Post # 16
I dont think it is tacky. My Fiancé was the person who suggested it! The original band I had picked out at first was way more than we could afford to pay cash for so I have smaller side stones and the same center stone.
We had plans to upgrade before the wedding but we decided to get a 52" flat screen tv instead My fiancé really wanted it and I already had my ring.