- 3 years ago
I’m poor, my family and best girl friends are also poor. They live over 3,000 miles away, therefore I’m not having a bachelorette party. All of my friends here, are dudes (my FI and I have a very small, close knit circle of friends)
My FI’s brother is a millionaire, and wants to throw him a bachelor party “he’ll never forget.”
My FI’s first reaction was, “No thanks brother. AquaGrey isn’t going to be able to have one, it’s not fair to her.”
His brother responded with “I dont understand, but ok, it’s your choice.”
Then, everything was fine.
UNTIL an hour later his brother wrote him another email and pulled the ‘brotherly love’ card and said “this is a chance to spend time with your brothers”
…Now the FI wants one.
We’ve been fighting for 4 days about this.
I feel empty and alone… while he’s going out, having a super-grand time, I’ll be at home with our cats. We don’t have a lot of money either… we make juuuusst enough to get by. So it’s not like I can turn around and go on a shopping spree to make it “even.”
I feel sick and upset. My FI is upset and doesn’t know what to do.
We weren’t planning on having these parties. We were actually planning on avoiding them (i didn’t even have a wedding shower)…
Bottom line: if tables were turned, I would never have a huge, extravegant party without my FI, knowing he’d be at home by himself. Never in a million years. Maybe that’s stupid. Go ahead and call me stupid. I don’t care. I don’t like hurting the 1 person I’m choosing to spend the rest of my life with.
I feel like I’m being left out. And yes, I’ve told him that. I always use “I feel…” statements, I don’t attack him. I’m so open and honest about feelings of jealousy, anger, sadness…
I feel like if he goes to this super-party, I wont want to marry him. I wont be able to write vows saying how much I cherish and love him, if the whole time I’m thinking he’s a selfish assh*le…