upset about bachelor party…

posted 3 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
473 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

@AquaGrey8962:  If his brother is so rich and willing to throw his money around, why can’t he spring for a bachelorette party as well? 

ETA: Sorry re-read and your girls are miles away. Sounds like a flight could be added to the bachelorette party cost. 

Post # 4
Member
397 posts
Helper bee

@AquaGrey8962:  You’ll get a lot of heat for this, just a heads up. Being controlling, etc. However, I understand to a degree where you are coming from, I suppose. It’s also not right for you to expect him to miss out on a gift from his family, just because you are. Why does it have to be a super party? Why not compromise and you happily let him go do something totally fun, innocent and laid back? 

ETA: My FI went to dinner, drinks, cigar shops and the casino. He’s pretty conservative and respectful, so nothing crazy. However, I thought that was more than appropriate. 

Post # 5
Member
3693 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

‘I feel like if he goes to this super-party, I wont want to marry him.”

Yikes.
 
It sucks that you’re not having a bachelorette party, but I don’t think that should be some kind of punishment for your fiance if he’d like to have a bachelor party and someone is wanting to throw him one.
 
If you’re this bothered by it, why don’t you see if the brother can plan something local that only lasts for one night. Typical bachelor/bachelorette parties in my area are dinner, drinks, and then everyone heads home for the night.

Post # 6
Member
5017 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2014

@Rainstorm77:  +1

@AquaGrey8962:  Can his brother fly you to where your friends live so you can have a bachelorette party there?

 

Post # 7
Member
1893 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2014 - Dallas, TX

@AquaGrey8962:  Tough love here – I think you need to get over it. I would be excited for my FI that he gets to have this once in a lifetime experience. Yes, I would probably be a little bit jealous that I won’t get to experience something like that, but I would never try to take that away from him. I think your outlook of wanting to make things “even” and that you would actually call off the wedding is incredibly immature. I think you’re the one being selfish here, not him.

 

Post # 8
Member
633 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

@AquaGrey8962:  I’m sorry… that’s a tough one. My SO gets pulled into doing things by his sisters and parents all the time too, he’s just such a people pleaser. I’m not engaged yet and I really don’t have any advice but I wouldn’t mind skipping the bachelor/bachelorette parties in my own future. I’m interested to read what the other bees have to say on this…

Post # 9
Member
1987 posts
Buzzing bee

@AquaGrey8962:  

I feel like if he goes to this super-party, I wont want to marry him. I wont be able to write vows saying how much I cherish and love him, if the whole time I’m thinking he’s a selfish assh*le…

Really? Wow. That’s a bit…yeah. I guess I see it the opposite way–I’d want my husband to be able to have this opportunity if he could. My husband had the chance to go to an awesome weekend in Vegas for work but we couldn’t afford for me to go. He had never been (and neither have I) and I knew he wanted to go for a long time, so I was thrilled he could. I’m still glad he did–it was a trip he won’t forget and he wouldn’t have had the opportunity to do otherwise. To be blunt, I’m not sure he’s the one being a selfish a-hole here….

Post # 10
Member
473 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

@weatherbug:  hahah I was in the middle of editing my original post to say the exact same thing you said!

Post # 11
Member
1690 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I personally think you are WAY over reacting. 

You won’t marry this man if he goes on his own bachelor party thst his rich brother wants to host for him? 

I don’t really understand this at all?

I get that you’re jealous because nobody is throwing you a bachelorette party, but how is it fair to take this away from your FI? It’s one night.. Let him have fun with his friends/brothers. 

There will be times when you’re married where you will have nights away from each other, “girls night/ boys night” so I don’t see how this is different, just because you feel left out?

Post # 12
Member
515 posts
Busy bee

@AquaGrey8962:  i’m not going to say you are stupid because you are not. it is natural to feel left out. but i do think you are overreacting a bit. first off, if he wants to go then you should let him. he only gets one chance to do this so why not just let him go have some fun? you dont want him to resent you for not giving him this chance later on. and who says you have to be alone at home? invite your girls over for a movie night and order pizza. it doesn’t have to be extravagent and some of them best girls nights i have have involved movies, cocktails, and apples to apples lol. cheer up sweetie and don’t let your jealousy ruin this time for him. you can still have fun too!

Post # 13
Member
184 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@AquaGrey8962:  While I totally get that it sucks that you won’t be having a bachelorette party and jealousy is normal, I don’t think it’s fair or very loving to take that away from your FI as well. You chose the girls you did for your bridal party and he chose his guys. If they want to throw him a party, I would tell him to have fun and suck it up. I would still have wanted my husband to go out and have fun, and I wouldn’t have made him feel guilty over his own chance to have fun. 

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