Post # 1
Sorry bees, but I need to vent. I’m feeling sad and upset right now.
FI’s parents are throwing us an engagement party next week and FI just sent me the invitation that his mom sent out. It has his (very long) full name and then mine (very short…so that it looks like it’s not there). At first glance, I just thought it looked really weird because up until this point, I grew very accustomed to being referred to as (my name) and (his name) — especially because it rolls off the tongue more easily.
Also, she used a picture that I really dislike. I wish she had asked for my input or something.
Anyway, I know this is so insignificant, but I can’t help but feel like his mom is constantly saying what a catch he is and how I’m the one who should feel lucky to have found him, not vice versa. She doesn’t say it, but it comes out in little ways like this — even FI recognizes it. *rage*
Now I feel like I won’t have fun at the party and I don’t want to interact much with his mom.
Post # 3
His parents are throwing the party, it’s their son, so I guess I would expect his name to go first.
Like a wedding invitation, the woman’s name goes first because it’s traditionally the bride’s parents who “throw” the wedding, right?
So, if you want to look at it that way, it would make sense that his name go first on an event his parents are throwing.
JMO – take it or leave it.
PS – I think most moms think their son is a catch! I know my boys will be even though they’re only 6, 4 & 2 yo!!!!
Post # 4
I’m confused? Your mad because it says HisFirst HisLast and YourFirst YourLast instead of YourFirst HisLast? Can you better explain what it said?
Also, I think all moms think that their son is the best catch and that the girl should feel lucky to have her SO. I do feel lucky to have my SO because he is a great catch. Don’t you think your SO is?
Post # 5
@MsBrooklynA: I think he is, but it’s the way his mom makes it seem like I’m not good enough for him — that’s what I have a problem with. And sorry for the confusion, I’m upset that she put HisFirst HisMiddle HisLast and MyFirst MyLast.
Post # 6
I’m with BanditGirl. Why would you automatically assume that your name would go first on an invitation for a party that his family is throwing?
Post # 7
Oh, I didn’t see your last post. So you’re upset that she didn’t use your middle name? Are you sure she knows your middle name? Although, I guess it is a little strange, if she wanted to use middle names on the invitation, that she didn’t ask what yours is.
Post # 8
Wait. Are you upset because she left out your middle name but included his? Maybe she did that cause she doesn’t know what it is, but that’s not a big deal. I think because they are hosting they really can do whatever they want with the invites. Sure she could’ve consulted with you, but it really wasn’t necessary in this situation.
Post # 9
Then I think you are overreacting. It is strange they didn’t use your middle name but it is their decision to do so. It would be an automatic response for me to include my child’s name first on a party invitation for a party I am hosting.
Post # 10
I don’t think you are over-reacting…..she should have darn well asked what your middle name was, if she didn’t know it. As well, certainly it is fine that she thinks her son is a catch….but she really shouldn’t say it constantly and make you feel like you are not. It’s great that she is throwing this party, but common courtesy should still apply.
Post # 11
btw my hubbys family is greek so even for wedding invitations the guys name always goes first no matter who is paying or hosting so male name first isnt too unusual for some plus what the other ladies said above, if FI’s family is hosting then i would assume that his name goes first as well
edit: I’m upset that she put HisFirst HisMiddle HisLast and MyFirst MyLast.
Post # 12
Even if she did miss your middle name and your name looks short compared to his I’m sure you will be the only person who notices. I just don’t think its really worth stressing over.
Post # 13
Thanks everyone. I really, really appreciate your rational responses.
Post # 14
Maybe she didn’t know your middle name and thought it would be better to leave it off?
I would only be upset if it read: We’re celebrating the marriage of :Jonathan Matthew Smith to Lisa. or didn’t have your name at all (just made these names up, it read better than his first middle and last)
That’s the only way I’d be upset, and feel like she wasn’t tryng to include me.