Post # 1
So I got engaged July 4th, 2014. We have been together for 2 years and my fiance has a 5 year old son. While planning my wedding, picking the venue and getting some stuff settled this week my little sister told me that she is planning on getting engaged when her boyfriend gets back from Basic Training.
To go a little further, she also told me that she is planning on getting married June 14th, 2015, and my venue is already booked for June 27th, 2015.
She wants to have her wedding in San Diego on the Marine Base. We currently live in Washington State. And half of our family lives in Sacramento Area.
She is 18, and her and her boyfriend aren’t even engaged and he will be at Basic Training until November so who knows when he is going to officially propose.
Its upsetting me that she is putting that stress on our family and friends who can’t afford to travel to San Diego and Washington within 10 days from eachother. And that she is trying to get married that close to me and its making it stressful for me and it doesn’t make me feel excited right now as a newly engaged couple to try and plan our wedding wondering what our family will be able to afford having the weddings so close.
Should I be upset?
Post # 2
- Wedding: May 2014 - Caswell Beach- Oak Island, NC
stephanie.raley: Sounds like she is being a bratty little teenager. They aren’t even engaged. I wouldn’t stress over the situation until it actually happens.
On top of that, I would reality check her and remind her they aren’t engaged and she shouldn’t put her ducks in a row until he actually proposes.
Post # 3
stephanie.raley: Of course you should be upset. That sucks!
But tell me more… will her SO only be around for a little bit limiting the dates that they could get married? I know that that can be an issue for military weddings, it’s very hard to find dates that work. She might not really have a choice.
It is pretty weird that she is bringing this up just after you get engaged. I wonder if she’s jealous at all about the attention you are getting (or appear to be getting in her eyes). I am really throwing ideas around here, I have no idea what is going on, but it does sound kind of strange to me. If I were you I might ask her why that date. I also think it’s kind of presumptuous to “set” a wedding date when one is not even engaged. Maybe she’s just trying to make sure you don’t take that date?
Post # 4
I would talk to your parents and see if they can reason with her…
Post # 5
- Wedding: Royal Park Hotel
stephanie.raley: 90% sure she’s not going to get engaged when she says she is. 98% sure she’s not going to book her wedding on the date she says.
If I had to guess I would think she’s just trying to ruffle your feathers and get the attention in the family
Post # 6
Her fiance and her are moving to San Diego in March, and with her school schedule she feels this would be the best time to make sure everyone can come…
of course I picked the day because it was the only day our dream venue was available and my cousin could make it back from Belguim (she is one of my bridesmaids). She prob. will not go to my sisters wedding as they are not that close.
And from what I know her boyfriend and her were going to wait until he gets back in November for him to propose and he is getting the ring designed right now with his grandmas stone in it.
I really think that they should atleast live with eachother when he gets back from basic before they decide on a wedding date, as they both just graduated from HS this June, but that’s just me.
And as far as I know, he doesn’t have any restrictive dates. My mom told her she didn’t feel that it was appropriate timing, and she said that it was the best day that worked for everyone.
Post # 7
Well, sounds like you can’t do much about it. You get one day, she gets one day. I would just focus on your own wedding, try to be happy for her and let her make her own decisions.
Post # 8
I would be really upset.. No advice really you cant tell someone YOU CANT GET MARRIED then but if everyone has to travel for both discuss it with parents etc.. But its not 100% sure thing so you just keep having fun with planning!!
Post # 9
- Wedding: August 2013 - The Liberty House
Just send out your save the dates ASAP, sit back, and let things unfold as they will! It’ll be fine.
Post # 10
Ugh I would be so annoyed. Make sure you have your save the dates out if you don’t already, thays for sure! Does she have a dream venue? Chances are she will have a hard time booking what she wants so close to the actual date so everything she is planning in her head might not even be possible yet. I would try not to let it bother you -just keep your plans more secretive so she can’t copy any ideas- and hope it dsnt actually happen.
Post # 11
- Wedding: Royal Park Hotel
MeiFrancis: I was going to say the same thing too. I had two cousins where one had a Friday wedding in Michigan and one had a Saturday wedding in Philly. 90% of the entire family went to the Philly wedding and skipped out on the other one because the Philly bride sent her Save the Dates out way before the other. Early bird gets the worm.
Honestly – from what you’ve told me…..I would pick your wedding over hers if I HAD to pick. And I suspect that’s what most will do. First come, first served
Post # 12
- Wedding: April 2013 - Rhode Island
She’s not even engaged yet. Don’t get upset prematurely.
And you get ONE DAY. Not a month, not a year. She can choose to get married whenever she wants. If she doesn’t give her guests enough notice, chances are they’ll come to your wedding and not hers anyway because yours is what they will have planned for.
Post # 13
stephanie.raley: I wouldn’t worry about this right now.
As a sister of a Marine, when my brother went through basic, he received his orders shortly before graduating. I don’t know how your sister’s boyfriend has gotten to thinking that they are going to be moving to San Diego, but they don’t just let you pick where you want to go. Not only that, and maybe it will be different for your sister’s boyfriend, but my brother didn’t have any say in where he was going nor did he have an opportunity to take any time off. We are very fortunate that he was even able to take off a little time to make it to my wedding 2 years ago when he was in training/school because he pretty much had to beg and plead. Plus that meant he couldn’t come home for Christmas.
Anyway, all that aside, I wouldn’t worry about this until after he’s gone through basic and proposes. A LOT can change from the time someone enters into basic training to graduation. I think she is thinking WAY too far ahead of herself.
Post # 14
just make sure you get your STDs and invitations out before hers
Post # 15
haha ajility81 your STD comment caught me off guard lol. thanks for the giggle. I got it though
I just don’t know why I feel so down about all of this. Like its going to steal my spotlight for the months prior to the wedding with everyone focused on getting hers done first, and then having mine feel like a nuisance with having to travel again. I don’t even think I will be able to afford to fly to San Diego 2 weeks before my wedding.