- 6 years ago
- Wedding: May 2012
Hello lovely bees!!
I need to vent!! haha
He’s the story…
My Future Mother-In-Law and I do not have such a great relationship. I can’t call it BAD, because, well… she’s acts extremely polite actually. The thing is, her politeness is not real. She says nice things and acts nicely, but at the same time, she will give me a bad look or make a random comment about something apparently non related, just to let me know what she thinks or if she does not approve. She’s manipulative and very smart.
I really think there is nothing she can honestly have against me. I have been her son’s ONLY real girlfriend and have been together since we were 16. I love him like crazy and there’s nothing I don’t do for him. I consider myself to be almost the perfect daughter in law-really. BUt still, i guess he’s her smallest child of 7 brothers and she can not cope with the idea of letting him go. It also bothers me that I am also the baby in the family and daddy’s girl, and my parents LOVE HIM TO DEATH, i’m jelous that I can’t get that same thing from her.
After 10 years, I have come to accept it. I try to be extremely nice to her and ignore her comments. I try to kill her with my charm. I’ll pretend not to hear or understand her comments. i’ll smile…
I actually told Fiance that I did not want to be there when he told her we were engaged because I would not be able to cope with the drama. She’s also a drama queen an cries for EVERYTHING. I thought, If she starts crying and making a sceen, I’ll freak out and start crying myself. She did, in fact.
I try to have her involved in the wedding, I swear I am the SWEETEST with her, but have kept her out of MY part, the dress, what i’ll be wearing n my head, the makeup…I just KNOW she’ll hate it. I have said NOTHING about it, the cut, the material, NOTHING.
The thing is, about a month ago, she had a health isuue (she’s overweight and has a few problems, including heart surgery) where, as my Fiance says, “she thought she was on her deathbed”. Nothing actually happened. Fiance is a doctor and rushed her to the hospital. They found nothing wrong and said “it was probably due to stress”. She’s a 68 year old house wife.. I can’t imagine why.
ANYWAY… Fiance says, that when she “thought she was dying”, she looked at him in the eyes and said something like “I have realized that betty_spaghetti is a wonderful woman… she loves our family and you so much and will make you very happy”.
This felt SO incredibly nice after TEN YEARS of coping with her passive agressiveness.
Last week, thinking I would like to have her more involved, I thought of inviting her to my fitting. I told Fiance that I thought she would appreciate it, but I was scared she would HATE it all (she really probably will) and I would just be giving her time (1 month untill the wedding) to grow her hate and comment with all of FI’s aunts on the phone (which she what she would most probably do…) about how unappropriate my dress is and how HER daughters made much nicer choices in their perfect wedings… So I didn’t know what to do and probably wouldn’t invite her after all. I thought if she just sees me at the wedding, people around her will surely be saying how lovely I look, and make her think the same.
WELL, Fiance magically FORGOT about half of the conversation… The only part he was listening to, or he remembered was “I’m thinking of inviting your mother”.
SO HE INVITED HER
yes, he did.
And she agreed to come to give me “feedback”.
Why the hell would I need feedback 1 month before the wedding? The dress has been chosen, payed for and fitted. This is my dream dress and I love it, and I know she’ll hate it. I don’t want any comment from her unless it’s a huge “OMG you look like a princess!!” The ONLY thing that I wanted was my moment of kindness with her, telling her that i’d appreciate if she could come, but even that won’t happen since he’s already asked her. So know I wasn’t even the one to invite her!
My Fiance suggested “well just don’t tell her about it, it’s not like it’s set in steel”
How am i supposed to uninvite her?? I can’t!
Do I just cope with her there? Do you think she’s changed? I have had a lot of dress regret even though it was my dream dress to begin with… i’m afraid that if she says a mean comment, i’ll start crying, hate my dress and be super upset and freak out a month befor my wedding…