Post # 1
Last night my mom and I met with a florist at Wegman’s. After that we ate at the pub in the market. Mom, who I think is a stunning lady, has been on the hunt for her special dress for my wedding. My mom is cool, hip, classy and stylish, so a lot of the MoB dresses out there are just not her taste.
But she did find 3 dresses that I will be shown THIS Saturday. I can’t wait. During dinner last night, she was telling me the she was telling my dad about this one dress that makes her feel like a million bucks. It’s sapphire blue. I’m getting married in the fall and was kind of hoping she would go for a fall color. Anyway, dad saw a photo of her in the dress and really liked it too. Then she goes, ‘so then I told dad that I was worried about one thing. I don’t want to upstage the bride.’ The bride = me.
In my mind I was saying, ‘Are you f**king kidding me?’ but what came out of my mouth instead was, ‘Oh, don’t worry, you won’t upstage me.’ Then I was told the other 2 dresses are an understated elegance. And she would prefer people say, ‘Oh Barbara (not her real name), you look so elegant’ rather if she had the sapphire blue dress on with people saying, ‘OMG, did you SEE Barbara? WOW!’
I mean, are you kidding? My mom is the BOMB and I adore her. But through this wedding process I have been noticing that she is having an internal battle trying to come to terms that it’s not about her this time. That it’s about my Fiance and me that day.
I will post photos of these 3 elusive dresses once I see them on Saturday. So please stay tuned.
Post # 3
I am anxious for some visuals as well!!
Post # 4
Um… at least she said she DIDN’T want to upstage the bride? 🙂 heh
Post # 5
lol…I suppose. But she was thinking she might pull it off.
Post # 6
I am curious to see these pictures!
Don’t worry – nobody will upstage you. It doesn’t matter what your mom wears, it’s a wedding, so the focus will be on the bride and groom. Unless your mom shows up in a white ball gown, you don’t need to worry about her upstaging you!
Also, if there’s one thing I’ve learned through this whole wedding planning process, it’s that this day is just as important (if not more important) to my parents than it is to me. Your mom has probably been imagining your wedding since you were a baby. She wants to look stunning on this big day.
Post # 7
That is at least sweet that she is really thinking about you and does want to feel as though she is taking any attention away from you. I think she just wants to make sure that she doesn’t act like this wedding is about her.
My mom was worried about this too and I told her that there is no way she could upstage me and that this is her only time she will ever host a wedding so I want her to wear whatever makes her feel beautiful.
Post # 8
OMG, I’m having a similar issue! I feel your pain girl, really, I do.
My Mother and I have been on a never-ending quest for the right dress for her. And just like your mom, she’s young and stylish. So the MoB dresses are all “frumpy” to her. So one day we’re looking at dresses and she complains to me that my grandmother (her mother) is making a big deal about her dress. My Mother says, “Why is she so concerned with how she looks? Doesn’t she know everyone is looking at the mother of the bride?”. I agreed at first because she’s right, the mother is in more pictures and is more of a focal point than the grandmother. But then, she lost her mind. She further went on to say, “I mean, yeah they’ll look at you, the bride, but for the most part they’re like “ooooh, that’s the MOTHER””. Wth is that crap? I didn’t even have words. Like what is she thinking, she’s totally not even like that. This wedding has triggered something I don’t like in my Mother!
Post # 9
@jennifer – omg girl. I can’t believe your mom said that! lol. Oh this whole planning process has definitely been an eye opening experience. Mostly wonderful but at times, just eye rollin’ and head shakin’!
Post # 10
Oh hon Im so sorry to hear this…wow I cant wait to see part two of this story..
Post # 11
Wow! My mom is being the sweetest lady in the world about it, but my Future Mother-In-Law… well, let’s just say I do halfway expect her to end up showing up in a white dress.
Edit: it cut me off! I was going to say, “So I totally get where you’re coming from, I hope things work out for you! Maybe none of the dresses will be over the top?”
Post # 12
@jennifer- WOW! lol
Also– I disagree!! I don’t think people pay that much attention to the MOB unless they’re doing something cr-azy.
Post # 13
I hope they aren’t over the top. But when everyone (bridal party) is in eggplant purple and there strolls in the MoB in a sapphire blue dress…yikes.
I’ll definitely post after we come back from the bridal salon.
Post # 14
I really don’t think she will upstage you, no matter what she wears! My mom told me on Thanksgiving she was thinking of wearing a white suit. I was like WHAT?? She didn’t get why I was upset, she had no idea you’re not supposed to wear white to a wedding… unless you’re the bride! She’s going to buy a black dress now, thankfully!
Even if your mom wore something very attention grabbing, honestly I don’t think anyone is really going to be paying attention. I haven’t been to a ton of weddings… but I remember what the brides wore. I couldn’t even tell you what the moms were wearing!
Post # 15
That sounds stressful, I’m sorry! I think you’re right on about the internal battle your mom is having. At least it’s an internal battle – there are definitely moms out there who unapologetically want it to be their day! Maybe there’s also some concern there about beauty and aging – having a child get married can make moms feel anxious about their age and appearance, and the idea that she’d be *able* to upstage the bride might be her way of coping with some of that worry.
Post # 16
I know guys, it was like I was in the Twilight Zone! I really didn’t even respond. She’s totally not even like that! She hates being the center of attention, I had to convince her she’d want to get her hair and make-up done. But now, she’s become a Momster! Lol. I hope she says that to someone else and they tell her how many ways that doesn’t make sense! Since I couldn’t do it.