(Closed) us + 1 TMI :)

posted 5 years ago in Intimacy
Post # 3
Member
1438 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I would not do this! I have heard of people doing this & it ruined their relationship.

And finding a random person on a site is not safe, maybe a friend??

Post # 4
Member
2607 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2009

I don’t know…it seems to me if you aren’t interested in him having sex with her as well, what’s the point of bringing another person into your bedroom?

Post # 5
Member
7908 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2012 - Pelican Grand Beach Resort

@s.renea9:  I’ve also heard of people doing this with absolutely no repurcussions on their relationship or even with positive results.

OP, you should set rules that are important to you and stick to them. If you don’t want him to have intercourse with the other girl, then that’s the way it is or it doesn’t happen. I think when this goes poorly for people it’s because they weren’t honest about their limits and let it get further than they were comfortable with.

Post # 6
Member
3003 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@Miss Apricot:  I feel the same way as you.

Post # 7
Member
2010 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Read Savage Love.  Lots of good info.

Post # 8
Member
123 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013
Post # 9
Member
123 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

i wouldn’t do it at all… buthey that’s me. i just hope that you have listed all the pros and cons. like you not being enough for him after. not being able to turn him on alone.  Jealousy is not something you plan for. But it is something you have to think about.

Post # 10
Member
24 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: December 2018

You’re playing with fire. Don’t do it. 

I have a girlfriend who used to do this all the time with her FI. Said it was all cool and everything during that time but afterward she admitted that it really fucked (no pun intended) with her big time. 

Post # 11
Member
967 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

My now FI and I tried one before we became a serious couple…the whole experience was weird…but it might have been the chick we did it with….she was bizarre…..

but it is awkward, and can cause issues……unless you are both FULLY HONEST about everything and stick to rules it might not be good……..

Post # 12
Member
123 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

i also see that your not married yet. Is that the way you want to start your marriage. what if he wants to do it again down the line and you feel diff. then you do now? and he is like like “whats the matter you did it then”… this can get messy fast.

and from looking and your past post this really doesn’t sound good at all!!!

Post # 13
Member
2541 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

This is a BAD idea! A three some is something you so with a temp boyfriend… not your husband. You are going to set yourself and him up for the expectation that this is what your marriage is going to be like.

Don’t do it!

Post # 15
Member
587 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@mrsSonthebeach:  I think this is good advice

People have different limitations and I dont think telling OP not to do it is helpful. Just be safe, smart and thoughtful about it! Some people have negative experiences, some people have really great ones. I’m personally not open to it with my SO but I dated someone seriously in the past with whom I would have done it. Every relationship is different so just be honest with yourself!!

Post # 16
Member
157 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I think that some people are way too judgmental. Personally, it’s not my thing, but more power to you if this is what you and your partner enjoy. I’d second the suggestion to check out Dan Savage’s column and podcast. The key, as a pp stated, is to establish clear boundaries and adhere to them. And as with everything, keep the communication open. 😀

The topic ‘us + 1 TMI :)’ is closed to new replies.

Get our weekly roundup of the best of Weddingbee.
I agree to receive emails from the site. I can withdraw my consent at any time by unsubscribing.

Find Amazing Vendors